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Thursday, April 02, 2009

The Interrogation

The interrogation went over well. They tried to pull the "good cop bad cop" routine on me. But I watch FAR too much television cop shows for that to work on me. So I indicated that I am willing to talk, but first I need some coffee. And cream - but not that fake powdered crap!! I require some real cream. In fact, I require some heavy cream! Yea. And a muffin. Blueberry. And not that imitation blueberry crap!!! They better be fresh, because I will know!!!

Then, after getting all the free food and drinks that I thought I was going to be able to get, I started fake screaming. NO!! NOT THE HOT POKER!!! PLEASE!!! ILL TALK!!! ILL TELL YOU EVERYTHING!! OH NO!!! NO NO NO NO!!! NOT THE BAMBOO SLIVERS!!!

And THAT is how you ace an interrogation. If there is a job opening in the company for raving lunatic - I am in. I hear raving lunatic positions pay very well. This guy told me that. He has made big bucks as CEO of AIG.

Also, and this is key - I think I scared off the other people there to interview. By removing all competition, they will HAVE TO take me.

I am always full of good ideas.

And now.....

But all is not perfectly well!!!! I forgot my sunglasses somewhere. I know where. I can get them back. They are locked inside a file cabinet. I can always get them out, I have the key to the door and I know the combination to the lock on the file cabinet. But I will have to drive there without sunglasses. Well I have other sunglasses - but the lenses are cracked.

I also have some goggles I got for use with the Waverunner - but I will look silly driving around with them on.

The real question here is....why do people feel they can just trust me with a key to the place? OH YEA! I forgot. I am in charge of the operation. How silly of me. I keep forgetting.

Being in charge of an operation is fun. I can bring beer and nobody can say crap about it. Nobody there has the power to fire me. And if they do fire me? No big deal. The operation does not really pay anything.

They call it "volunteering". I call it "slavery". Pretty much the same thing. You get to do things, and not get paid for it.

The part about the sunglasses is actually true. I really did space them in the cabinet, which is currently locked up.

As for the rest......well it may or may not have really happened. I may be making it all up. I might be embellishing just a tad. I might not have really started screaming about bamboo slivers that do not exist.

OK they do exist. There really is bamboo, and I am sure there are also bamboo slivers. But there was not any bamboo in the room at the time.

But the people on the other side of the door did not know that!!!

I will await news of my fate.


Blogger Lily Strange said...

If only they did have positions for raving lunatics. I might actually find a job that I liked.


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