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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Roped In

It seems I have to join a health club, also known as a gym.

See the President told us that if we want to be healthy, we must do the following things.

1. Get off our asses
2. Eat fewer Big Macs
3. watch less TV
4. Exercise.

And for saying that, he was made fun of by the opposition. Remember the run up to the elections? When it was stated that lifestyle choices were a leading cause for much of the health care costs? And he was made fun of by fat guys who make a living sitting on their ass talking on the radio?

But really - has the USA fallen this far? When the President has to tell people that exercise is good, and sitting on your big fat ass all day is bad?

Now I was in a gym before. I decided to get into one, with the idea that after work I would stop by on my way home and do shit. Lift weights. Maybe get on a treadmill. Whatever.

I did this exactly 1 time. After work that is. Then I went 4 or 5 more times. Possibly as many as 6 times. Then I did not go for many many months, yet I kept paying the fees.

Well this time it will be different! This time I am slightly more motivated! Or so I think.

But really, it is not a terrible idea. If I use the membership. I am starting to get this gut thing going. Not common sense tells me that if I start working on getting rid of the gut now - while I can still see my feet - Ill have less work to do than if I wait.

And I know someone else who also wants to go do the gym thing, so I will not have to motivate myself to just go alone. I am sure this will help.

I do not have insane expectations. I just desire some more strength. That would be nice. I could also use some stamina. Things I used to be able to do seem like they are harder to do now.

And I need a rowing machine. This way I can compete in the DRAGON BOAT CHALLENGE!!

or I suppose I could just get a row boat. But who am I kidding there? Ill never use a row boat. Ill have to load it on the truck, go to a boat ramp. pay to park, launch it, row around, pull it out of the water, take it home, clean it off, then put it away.

I might do this a total of 1 time.

But I do want to take part in the Dragon Boat Festival. That will be cool. I already have a team name and everything.

The Drunken Sailors.

That is my dragon boat team name. Drunken Sailors. My team will take dragon boats to the next level, by combining a boat race with rum. We will start the race with a full bottle of rum, and during the race we will have to empty it.

I am really hoping that Flor De Cana will be a sponsor. That would be so cool. I may also write to Sierra Nevada Brewing Company and ask then if they want to sponsor a boat. If Sierra Nevada goes for the sponsorship, the team will still be The Drunken Sailors and the boat name will be something witty such as "Pale Ale". The hull can be painted green and everything. That would be cool.

If you are a marketing person from Sierra Nevada - think about it! Sponsor my dragon boat team! It will be great exposure for you (unless we capsize and all drown) AND it will not cost much. Dragon boats are not really super expensive.

But back to reality. The gym. I have been ordered to join one. So I must do so - as I have learned to always just follow orders. You get into less trouble that way.

I am thinking I will like the 24 Hour Fitness place the best. They are always open, so there is no rush to get there within certain times.

But do they have a rowing machine? Who knows. Ill have to find out.

Photos of the dragon boat and the scurvy band of pirates crewing it will become available as soon as I have a scurvy band of bilge rats to form the team, and of course a deagon boat to put them all into.


Blogger Lily Strange said...

I used to have a 24 hour fitness membership. I liked them. I just can't afford even that much any more. Fortunately there is a wellness center where I work, which I'm a member of for $12 a month. It's a rip off because employees should be allowed to use the wellness center free. But I can use it any time and even though it's a rip off it's pretty cheap. Got to take what you can get.


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