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Thursday, August 20, 2009

Things That Suck

Welcome to another installment of things that suck!!!!

In today's segment, I will start by featuring LA Fitness. They suck. Really bad.

And here is why they suck. First off, on their website there is no pricing information listed. It is some sort of carefully guarded secret. Well I figured there was some sort of scam going on there, but I went in anyway.

The facilities were nice enough. There was a pool and a hot tub and all kinds of machines and racquetball courts and shit.

But....after they show you all the shit comes the fun part. The sales pitch. So here it is. The big secret that the website will not tell you.

The initiation fee is either $150 or $199 - PER PERSON. If you pay the $199 your monthly membership charge is like $4 or $5 a month less. Something like that.

There are no discounts for additional members that join with you. So if you and a friend or family member want to join, it costs $150 PER PERSON - plus first and last months membership at $45 PER PERSON PER MONTH.

MATH TIME! $150 per person times two people is $300. $45 per month times two is $90, which covers the first and last months membership for one, so double the $90 for two. that is $180. Grand total - $480.

Then $90 per month after that.

And the staff will present you with a high pressure sales pitch. But wait - there is more! The pricing is so fucking secret that they WILL NOT give you the piece of paper that has all the fees. They will not write the numbers down on another piece of paper they can give you. And they will not really let you take your own notes.

Well fuck them. They suck.

Compare this to Ballys - which currently has NO initiation fee. Memberships run about $30 per month for the primary account, and then $20 for additional memberships. So for two people the grand total to get in is $100. After the first month, it is $50. But the Ballys was not that great.

The 24 Hour Fitness place is $10 a month more for two memberships than Ballys. And no initiation fee. So I am going with them. I like the hours of operation better.

So LA Fitness sucks.

In other news, there are MORE things that suck. Hurricane Bill. It could very well become a cat 4 storm in the next 12 or so hours. And it has shifted its path just slightly to the west.

Now here is why this is bad. IF it keeps shifting to the west - and it is by no means certain that it will (in fact odds are against it) - it could get dangerously close to the New York / Long Island area.

Now hurricanes HAVE hit this area before. We know this. The last time it happened was a long time ago. Powdered wig long time ago. George Washington long time ago. So it could happen.

And what would happen? Well the hurricane would push up a sizable storm surge. This is normal. But then geology comes along and throws up a big problem. Look at a map. Notice how Long Island juts out from New York at pretty much a 90 degree angle. It will act as a natural dam, blocking the storm surge and actually amplifying it. Flooding in New York City will be legendary.

Bill is not going to be that storm. It is already too far to the east. Prevailing winds are westerlies, meaning the wind comes from the west and blows weather patterns to the east. So it is highly unlikely Bill can move much further west.

But Bill still sucks anyway.


Blogger Fuzz said...

Maybe those High Rises are a good idea.

Blogger Fuzz said...

If they don't blow down.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

High rise buildings pose an interesting problem. The lobby may flood, but the units above the lobby will probably be OK.

But the higher up you get, the stronger the winds are. So even if you are above the storm surge, you could have your windows blown out.


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