I Can See The Bahamas From My Front Yard

Actually I can't. But Bimini is only about 50 miles east of the Miami Sea Buoy!

So think about that! I do quite often. I think "if I just had a slightly larger boat with twin engines.......I could go get me some fresh conch!"

And rum from Cuba. Because in The Bahamas that shit is legal. But here in the USA??? Not legal. contraband.

Not that I do not know where I can get it. It is not like there are a bunch of bars where if you know the secret password (usually "Fidel Castro sucks") you can order shots of contraband Cuban rum or anything.

OH NO!!! The people in Miami who are so in favor of the embargo would NEVER EVER think about going to The Bahamas and bringing back a few crates of Cuban rum! Of course not.

And there is no way - NO WAY - I would ever go to the local Indian reservation, buy a whole lot of tax free cigarettes, take them to The Bahamas, unload them, clear Bahamas Customs, load up with Cuban rum - then come back to Miami! NEVER EVER!

Seriously - never. My boat is a little bit small for the crossing.

Plus it is just not worth it. Honestly I do not understand the obsession with Cuban rum. Flor De Cana 7 year Grand Reserve is better than any Cuban rum I have ever had.

And Flor De Cana is legal. Not contraband. It comes from Nicaragua. I can buy as much of it as I want without having to know any secret passwords or anything. Even if I could just buy a bottle of Cuban rum, I would go with Flor De Cana anyway.

Stick to what you know - and like! That is my general rum rule.

Anyhow my point is that I can almost see The Bahamas from my front yard. There is Florida, and then some water - and then The Bahamas!

I am sure this might mean something one day.

Filling Replacement

I hate this shit.

It seems that a filling put in years ago is wearing down. Can they do that? Anyway, it has to be replaced.

So that means the dentist has to use the drill. I HATE the drill. It is the worst.

I can handle the cleaning. Really. No problem. Even when I do not do a great job brushing the back of my lower teeth so they need to use the ultrasonic water thing AND the metal hook. What is a little blood? No big deal.

But I HATE the drill!!!!!!!!!!!!

And they are going to have to use the drill. The old filling has to be drilled out and replaced with a new filling. This was supposed to be done in January. I had an appointment scheduled for the beginning of that month. But nobody called to remind me. So I took the opportunity to chicken out.

Actually I sort of forgot. I mean I remembered I had an appointment, but not the exact day. It was the holidays. The dentist was closed for two or three weeks. And so on.

I chickened out. Nobody called me, and I did not call anybody.

But this time I can not chicken out. I have to go. I could put this off, but if the filling fails it will hurt.

But that is not all. OH NO! You see, if I keep screwing off then this COULD turn into a root canal. And that costs $1500 and is not fun.

So Ill go. Even if there is going to be drilling.

So here is my plan!!!!!!

It starts off with Flor De Cana Grand Reserve.

Now this is some good shit. Aged for 7 years, this is some darn good rum. It has complex and subtle flavors. I suggest sipping this fine rum neat. That means by itself with just a splash of water. On the rocks works too. Do not bother mixing this stuff with anything except a splash of water. You will ruin it. If you must mix it with Coke, do yourself a favor and just buy the aged 5 years Flor De Cana Gold. The Grand Reserve is far too good to ruin with Coke or any other mixer that is not water.

It also makes for a fine shot. But really it is not made for shooting. It is great as a first shot (maybe the first two shots), but after that you should probably switch to something else. Otherwise you are just wasting this fine rum.

SEE!?!?! Now I need some rum with a splash of water. One moment please!!!

Like I said - excellent stuff. I am telling you, with the splash of water this stuff is super smooth. No burning feeling at all. Just a slightly warm feeling in your stomach.

Anyhow back to the plan! Here is how it works!!!

1. Stuff (what is left of) the bottle of Flor De Cana 7 Year Grand Reserve in the truck tool box.

2. Drive to the dentist.

3. Take a shot in the parking lot.

4. Contemplate the wisdom of a second shot.

5. Walk into the office, feeling better than I was during the drive.

6. DEMAND the happy gas! The happy gas is just fun. I like the happy gas. It will make everything funny. Between the rum and the happy gas everything should be going well by now. I may not even care about any drilling.

7. Get the injection of Novocaine. I hate this too.

8. Try to not move while the actual drilling is going on.

9. Leave. Get back to the truck. Stop off at the booze depot because I need more rum (current bottle is almost empty). Drive home. Put the rum away for later.

See?? The master plan. I think it is a great master plan. There are good parts (rum and happy gas) and shitty parts (drilling) but the good may cancel out the shitty so it will end up neutral.

If the dentist mission does not take too long, then I may be able to FINALLY finish putting the boat back together. I took the floor lockers out for some reason. I do not remember why. Anyway they are back in - but not secured. So I need to pull them out again, attach more hose clamps to various hoses in the bilge so whatever is leaking does not leak anymore, maybe goop the hose connection points up with silicone sealant to really make sure nothing leaks, put the lockers back in, screw them in place, then finally secure the hatch covers in place.

But I do not want to do it. I am tired of boat projects. They never end.

Out Of Beer

Yes it is true. I am out of beer.

Of course "out of beer" means something different to me than it may to you. I have a few bottles of Bud Lite left over from a boat fishing mission. Someone brought the stuff along and forgot to drink it all. So it came home with me in the cooler. And I still have it.

But I do not really consider that stuff "beer". It is to beer what Sweet-N-Low is to real sugar. It is to beer what "low fat sour cream" is to REAL sour cream.

In other words, not the same. Not even close. But you can learn to live with it IF you have to. And why do I have to? Well it seems I am too lazy to get more beer. Plus I have been going out drinking every Friday, imbibing in pints of Sam Adams.

The way I look at it, I am consuming close to a weeks ration of beer that one day. So there is no reason to keep more at home. If I did keep the good stuff at home, then it is likely I would drink more than the recommended weekly allotment of beer, which I think is 5 or 6 servings. Something like that. I remember it averages out to less than one per day. It is less for chicks.

I think that whoever came up with this suggestion is sexist. But who am I to question such things.

My brain works like that. If I can consume X amount of something per week, then if I go at it madman style one day I can fast for other days - so it all works out. Somehow.

Problem is that the same study that came out with the recommendation also mentioned that more than 2 on any one day was not so good for you health wise. OH WELL! What the hell do they know anyway? Plenty of old men in Ireland would piss all over that study.

But there is other stuff I am looking for. This stuff. Pusser's Rum. Supposedly, it is the same rum issued by the British Royal Navy up until 1970. For 300 years, rum was consumed around the world on every British Royal Navy ship. Twice a day men would gather around what became to be known as the grog tub, where the ships purser would distribute the good shit to the men.

The rum had to be mixed down. Diluted with water. This is because back in the days when wooden sailing ships ruled the seas rum was VERY strong. Ships had limited space, so you had to make every bit of space count. Therefore, the overproof stuff was loaded in ships.

But there were rules to how the stuff was mixed down. First the purser would pour a very little amount of rum into a container. Then he would add a sprinkle of gun powder. Next he would take a magnifying glass and focus sunlight at the rum. If the gunpowder ignited, then the rum was "proved". If it would not ignite then it was because there was too much water in the rum. Similar methods were used in the wild west to prove frontier whiskey.

Anyhow after proving the rum, it was poured from one barrel into another larger barrel for mixing. The ratio was one part rum to two parts water. The mixing barrel had the words "The Queen God Bless Her" on it. Each man would approach the barrel with their rum container. The purser would say "The Queen" and the sailor would say "God Bless Her".

Before 1740 rum was rationed to men neat - without water. They would get 1/2 pint. More than enough to get tossed. After the order came down in 1740 to water the rum down, men got a full pint per day. So in effect, they got the same amount of rum.

By 1970 the tradition was reduced to a mere 1/8 pint,2 cups, per day.

Anyway, supposedly after Black Tot Day, or the day the Royal Navy stopped the tradition of daily rum (called tot by sailors) allowances, the Pusser's Rum company licensed the formula from the navy. This rum is blended, and the formula is supposed to be authentic to what was actually issued.

So I want to find some. Why not. Then I can hang out with sailboat people this Friday and revive a very old naval tradition.

The Queen. God bless her. Or whatever.