Flip-Flop Bill Frist

Vacation is over, so I decided to catch up on some news. Nothing much has happened really - except for one thing. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist flip-flopped on the stem cell research issue!

For my friends in the UK (and the rest of the world), Bill Frist is what you would call an arse hole of the first degree. He is the king of all arse-holes. None is bigger, or sticks more. Except for his boss, President Shrub.

As you may or may not be aware, President Shrub is dead set against stem cell research. Even when Nancy Regan, wife of republican hero Ronald Regan, asked for more stem cell research President Shrub said no. After all, the "culture of life", which Shrub claims to represent, is not compatible with stem cell research. But apparently the death penalty and war is! Go figure.

Anyway, Mr. Shrubs lap dog, Bill Frist, broke with his master and voiced his support for further stem cell research. So what gives? Here is my take on the whole thing.

President Shrub is playing up to the evangelical 10% - 15% of the population. He MUST suck up to this group if his little brother Jeb is going to make a move for president in 2008 or beyond. But what about the other 85%? They support stem cell research. The research may or may not turn out any results, but one thing is known. Preventing the research will NOT produce any results. Allowing the research may.

So if you are President Dumb Shit, what do you do? You must keep the 15% evangelical voting block happy, but you do not want to totally piss off the other 85%. And you can NOT flip-flop!! You are NEVER wrong! Changing your position means you can be wrong - and if you are wrong about stem cells you might be wrong about war!

So you do what any self respecting infallable human being would do. You have an underling do the flip-flop for you! This is what Frist did. He waffled so that his boss did not have to. Just like a good lap dog.

Now Bush can continue to suck up to the right to life people that support the DEATH PENALTY and WAR, but at the same time allowing the research to go on. He can veto a stem cell research bill, and know that it will still pass. This way, the fringe right will be happy that he (Bush) "did all he could, but the devil worshiping democrats got in his way", while the rest of the population will forget about the whole deal.

And most importantly, Bush will not have to say he was wrong. He will not have to flip his position. After all, the king is NEVER wrong!

Job Saga Part 2 - Formality And Protocol

Today's interview at the airport was pretty much a repeat of the first interview I went on a month or so ago - only there was one important difference.

The first time I went, I was interviewed by a team of two people. They seemed to be in a hurry to hire someone. I was told they would get back to me the next week, and they never did. I left a few messages that were never returned. So, I figured that the position was filled.

As it turned out, the formal process was not followed. Today I was interviewed by a team of 4 people, with one observer. Each person asked one question, then all 4 rated my answer. They told me that I would hear back from them "very soon".

The position is full time, but dried up in May 2006. I think this fact will prevent some of the applicants from taking it. I am thinking that if I get the job, it could lead to another position at the airport or another position with Dade County in another department.

I will have to walk a lot, but this is not a problem. Miami International Airport is easy to move around in - it is designed very well. Moving from one end of the terminal to the other can be done quickly using the moving walkway on the third level. Not a lot of people know about the walkway, so it is never packed full of people. I worked for TSA, so I know what I have to do to get past the metal detectors without alarming them (basicly, put EVERYTHING you have on the x-ray belt. No big secret there - the machines detect metal, so do not have any on you. Gum wrappers and medicine foil packages count as metal).

I expect to hear from them next week if I am selected.

Dead Milkmen

For those Dead Milkmen fans out there, check out this link! Then click "watch this movie".

Going Home

All good things must come to an end, and my week in Sanibel is no exception. Everything brought up had to be removed from room 156 and packed into one of the vehicles. I will not see the room again for 358 days. That works out to 21,480 hours. Seems like a long time, but the time will pass and I will be back.

I had to leave today for two reasons. First off, checkout time is 10 AM Friday, so it is not like you can do anything on the resort that day. I usually leave Thursday, in the evening, to avoid having to wake up before noon the next day. Second, the airport called me for another interview for a job. I have to be at the county office on the 4th floor of concourse E at 10:00 AM Friday.

Even still, it always sucks to have to leave this last look behind.

If you look closely at the above photo, you will notice something. See that fine haze in the background? REALLY far in the background? You know what that is? Florida people will spot it in a second!

Just a couple of miles on the road and I was in this. I got this photo while still driving, and while still on the island. I had not even hit the main road on Sanibel yet. I drive in rain all the time, but not always while pulling a ton of boat behind me. The good part is that the vehicle is less likely to overheat, the AC work great, and the boat and trailer got a good washdown. The bad thing is poor visibility and the increased likelyhood of hydroplaining. If you hit the brakes too hard while pulling something, you can send the vehicle into a skid and jack-knife the trailer, causing the object on the trailer to get thrown off and/or the tow vehicle to roll. And you can see how well I could see! The wipers were on high.

The trip home was ok. The rain let up, I only hit patches of rain here and there. When I hit Dade County, I was greeted by an impressive electrical storm. Lightning was striking all around my truck. It was cool. I even saw a tree get hit. It was smoking like Cheech and Chong after getting an ounce each. I got this photo before I hit the heart of the thunderstorm. Driving in heavy traffic while lightning is striking all around you is not exactly a good time to be messing with a camera.

The rain storm took aobut 30 minutes or so to drive through. The distance was only 20 or so miles, but traffic speed was reduced to a crawl. Here is what the traffic looks like on a normal day when there is not any rain. Notice the brake lights. This is on a highway where there are no traffic lights.

It is good to be back home. With the traffic and the other drivers who pretend to not see your turn signals, making changing lanes while towing a boat a whole lot of fun.

Only 358 more days to go.

Fishing and stuff.

I did make it out for some morning fishing. I even have proof.

I took this photo before I launched the boat. Anyway, the fish were just not there. Not only did I not catch anything, but I did not even feel bites. I blame the South Florida Water Management District for this, they dumped so much fresh water into San Carlos Bay that the salinity levels are lower than they should be. I was not IN San Carlos Bay, but I was not too far offshore either. Anyway, there were just not any fish. Nobody was catching anything. I did see a cool SPOTTED EAGLE RAY, so the day was not a total loss. The ray was after something, it launched itself out of the water. I have never seen a ray do this before.

Anyway, since the fishing conditions were so poor, the plans were changed to just cruise a bit. So I turned the boat towards nearby Pine Island, where my dad knew about a cool water front resturant. I forgot the name to the place, but it is on an ocean access canal. It was a 15 minute boat ride from Sanibel, but in a car it would take you at least 1 hour to get there.

Now in case someone reading my blog wants to move to an island on the west coast of Florida, I would like to take this time to point out a few properties that you can probably get a good deal on. The houses need just a little bit of work.This is house 1.

This is house 2.

And this is house 3.

As you can see, it is just a little bit of hurricane damage that needs to be fixed. And all three of these places are right on the ocean access canal! Waterfront houses at vacant lot prices!

The resturant survived last year's hurricane. Here is a good photo of the boat taken at the resturant docks.

The place had great food. Their shrimp were fantastic. I could tell that they were localy harvested shrimp, they were excellent. And prices were super reasonable. The place is very informal, you can pretty much come as you are no matter HOW you are dressed. Here is a shot of the inside of the place.

This is pretty much it for the boat. Tomorrow I do not plan on launching, and I have to be back in Miami on Friday. I am going to leave Thursday evening to drive home. It was great fun having the boat, I used it enough to justify hauling it over here. Next year I hope to have a BIGGER boat!

In the afternoon I headed back to Blind Pass to watch the sunset. I got there early, so I had time to check out cool stuff on the beach. Like these sea oats.

And these dunes.

These plants make the beach possible. Their root system holds the sand in place. Lots of (idiot) tourists think they are weeds and bitch about them, but the plants ARE protected and if the cops see you molesting the plants you will get a fine. I will just kick your ass.

And speaking of people who DESERVE an ass kicking, I would like to find the pig who did this.

I am not anti-smoking, but I seriously think that anyone who is seen using the beach as their personal ash tray needs to be shot on sight. After there are a few bloody spots on the beach sand where examples were made, Ill bet that smokers will watch their butts more closely. When I take over this state, the first law I will pass is going to be the "litter the beach and I kick you in the nards" act.

but in spite of the efforts of some nasty pigs, the rest of the beach was great.

The digital camera, as nice as it is, just can not capture colors worth a crap. None of them can. Good quality film is what you need IF you want your pictures to look right. In the above photo, there should be more reds and oranges. And in the photo below, the sea should be emerald green with orange light reflecting off it. But it is not. Use your imagination.

I was not the only thing watching the sun set in the west. This critter gets to do this every day.

There were other people too. I just try to keep other people OUT of my photos to make them look more nature-ie.

It was too cloudy to see the sun set into the sea, but nature still put on a decent show. For the price of admission, it was well worth it.

Lazy Post

Today is a lazy post day. I did not really go anywhere, or do anything. Of course this is not 100% true, I DID go to the pool bar and I DID drink a bunch of gin and tonic. Then I got sleepy. So I went to the room and made some sort of rum based frozen drink. Then I made another. The picture above was taken in the resort parking lot. I will get a better sunset photo tomorrow, unless I get blotto again.

My dad and I were going to try some night fishing, but that plan is scrapped. Instead, I am going to go fishing early tomorrow. This will work out well, I am fairly tired for doing nothing at all all day. Apparently, drinking is hard work. I am totally pooped out! And my liver hurts.

Blind Pass Nature Walk

Today, we will take a nature walk at Blind Pass. Blind Pass is where Sanibel Island ends and Captivia Island begins. Kind of. The two islands are not really seperated by much.

But first, lunch! And where did I choose to eat lunch? At the closest thing to a neighborhood bar on the island!

I like this place for some reason. The food is ok (not great or anything, just ok). There is no bar, only beer and wine. But I keep going back! The place has a very laid back kind of vibe. I had some chicken wings that were soooo hot I was sweating like a pimp with only one ho while eating my lunch. And I love hot wings! It is as close to "dank" as you can be without leaving the island. And they have cool neon signs.

I also like the front door to the place. It looks like something out of Spongebob Squarepants. I fully expected to see Mr. Crabs behind this door.

Another great thing about Sanibel is that the city has all but banned chain stores. You will not see a Burger King on the island. There is a Dairy Queen, but it opened for business before the no chain rule was passed. Of course, there are chain gas stations. One gas station is attached to a 7-11. And I understand that there is a Subway on the island now. There is also a chain drug store. But other than that, ALL shops and resturants are unique to the island. It was a great idea by the city to make that rule.

Anyway, time to head off to Blind Pass!

This is Blind Pass Beach. Part of it anyway. The beach runs north to south, so it is an EXCELLENT place to watch the sun set. I was going to get a cool sunset photo, but it was cloudy. I will go back before my week ends.

This is the pass itself. That bridge used to be over water. The Gulf Of Mexico took care of that. The last time there was water under this bridge was during the hurricane. They used to dredge it, but gave up years ago.

This is what you see when you walk under the bridge. To get this photo I had to wade out into about knee deep water past all the vegetation.

Most of Sanibel Island is a bird preserve. Large areas of the island are off limits devlopers, and set aside strictly for the birds. Blind Pass borders such an area. So, you can see lots of critters. Like this guy.

This guy is an Egret. They are everywhere on the island. Unlike the birds that only stay for the winter, these guys are here year round.

This guy is an Ibis. They are also very common on the island.

This is my buddy, Mr. Heron. This guy is not afraid of humans at all. Maybe it was because by this time I was walking around in soft mud and could not move very fast. At any rate, he allowed me to get close enough to snap this photo without having to use the digital zoom.

There were also TONS of water critters. I had never seen so many of these critters in one place before.

This is a horseshoe crab. These guys have been on the earth since the days of the dinosaurs. They are living fossils. Crabs and spiders are from the same tree, but these things are closer to scorpions than spiders. You can clearly see that in this photo.

Warm water must make these critters horny, because they were getting their freak on all over the place. The two I photographed were males, running across the shallow water at a high rate of speed. I tried to photograph some horseshoe crab porno, but the reflection from the water did not photograph well. I need to get a polarizing filter for my camera. Next year, there will be a whole lot more horseshoe crabs at Blind Pass!

And of course, all this nature CAN be yours year round. But there is a catch. You have to be able to afford a place like this.

This house is on the Captivia side of Blind Pass. I was on the Sanibel side. There is a channel by the house deep enough for a boat of up to 25 feet. Must be nice to have this kind of cheese. You can bet that IF I could afford it, I would have a pad on the island. Screw the hurricanes. If I could afford a house here, I could afford to rebuild it.

Lazy Iguana's Excellent Adventure To Cabbage Key

Like the sign says, welcome to Cabbage Key! Cabbage Key is a pretty cool place. It is privatly owned, but open to the public. There are no cars, paved roads, or bridges. To get there, you have to swim or use a boat. Here is a marine chart showing the location of the island. The whole island is about 100 acres. Do not forget to TIP THE DOCKMASTER! I did not tip the guy, because I did not use the main docks. I cheaped out :)

The island is more of a place of business than it is a home. The owners DO live on the island however. Hell, if I owned the place you can bet all you own that I would live there! The owners have a hell of a nice pad. I think this is the island owner's provate residence. It might also be the Inn.

I mentioned rental cottages! Here is what the cottages look like. Rates for a 2 room cottage without a kitchen is a scant $145 per night. Dockage for your boat is a mere $1 per foot per night. If you do not have a boat NO PROBLEM! Tour boats go there daily. By the way, rooms at the Inn are only $99 per night. Anyway, for my money I would nab a cottage.

There is also a resturant on the island. I ate lunch there. The resturant is built on top of an indian shell mound, so it is 40 some odd feet above sea level. Here is what the resturant looks like.

There is one unique thing about this resturant. Years ago, when most of the visitors to the key were commercial fishermen, a tradition was started. When the fishermen had a good day, they would leave a buck at the bar. When they had a crappy day, they could use their dollar to pay for the soup. Of course, when the place became popular with the boating public this is what happened.

People have left thousands of dollars. The walls are covered in bills from the roof to the floor. Every post is covered. So is the roof. The dollars are everywhere. It is like a stripper's fantasy.

People write messages on the money before they stick it up somewhere.

There is also a water tower on the island that is open to the public. You have to climb 40 steps, and this is what you see.

Cabbage Key also has wildlife up the wazoo. I found this fellow roaming about minding his own business.

This is a Florida Gopher Tortise. You do not see these things just anywhere. They are protected or something. Somehow, this non swimming reptile managed to get on an island. There are also playful otters that live on the island, but I did not see any. They only show up when a fishing boat shows up. The otters are fearless and WILL raid your boat. If they find your catch, it is gone. It is funny as hell to watch an otter steal someone's catch. They eat the fish, and leave the boat owner with a mess to deal with. Fish guts are everywhere. They also eat any bait you have left.

Tomorrow I will give the boat a rest, and take you all on a driving tour of Sanibel.

Day 1

Day 1 is over, and it was a fairly good day 1. As far as day 1s go.

I finished lugging all my crap up to the unit. Why is this a big deal? Lets see.

These are the stairs I have to lug all my crap up. There is no elevator. This building is sooooo not ADA compliant.

Here is what the stairs look like from the top floor where my unit is. I have to be VERY CAREFUL when I get drunk. One of these days I am going to fall down the steps.

And when I get in the unit, there are more stairs!

The bathrooms and bedrooms are up these stairs. Downstairs is the kitchen, porch, and TV and stuff.

And inside the unit, I found this.

I had never seen a shark advisory notice before. Really now, do I need a notice telling me that sharks live in the ocean? All this time I thought that sharks lived in swimming pools and mud puddles.

Anyway, I started the day off by going to the pool bar. While drinking gin and tonics, I thought that I wanted to do something. But what? Then I remembered that I HAVE A BOAT!

This is me in the boat. I wanted to bring the boat around to the resort, and do some general cruising. Nothing fancy.

It was a fairly calm day. I came around the island and anchored near the resort. There were three other boats anchored off the beach. My parents were hanging out on the beach and swam out to the boat. I was able to get very close to shore.

Here I am in the water. Remember that shark advisory notice? Well, I did not see any sharks. The water was very warm, according to the fish finder the surface temp was 90 degrees. So much for "no hard evidence of global warming".

This is the Sanibel Lighthouse. I snapped the photo on my way back to the boat ramp. You are looking at the south point of the island in the picture.

I also saw evidence of last years hurricane. This house is on the bay side of the island.

The blue tarps are still there! The owners of this property were either uninsured (it is almost impossible to get insurance for waterfront property), or are trying to sell the property as is.

But their neighbor is living large and in charge! This is what I saw very close to the blue tarp house.

Now THIS is a house even I could live in! It is a nice modest place. Not too flashy.

But I would not buy it. I would buy a house on the Sanibel Canal. The houses on the canal have a nice ocean access waterway, and a seawall that you can build a boat lift on. If I could afford to buy property here, I would also be able to afford a boatlift. And a nice 25 foot Corsair Marine power cat with twin 150 HP outboards.

Zoom Zoom Zoom!

Tomorrow's adventure - a voyage on my boat to CABBAGE KEY!

Early Start!

It is not even noon yet, and I am awake. I am getting ready to start doing whatever the hell it is I am going to do today. I already had a beer.

If you are here because I usually have my post for the day up by 2:00 AM, here are some things you can do to amuse yourself.

1. Check out ALL of Friday's posts! Chances are you missed one. Friday was a multiple post day.
2. Check out The Devil's Diary. This Canadian crazy person has some of the BEST short videos I have ever seen. He will not tell me where he finds the stuff, but trust me - it is fantastic! You MUST see the July 20 posts.
3. Have a beer! That is what I am doing.

The satellite radio is playing "Lazy Days" on the 60's Vibration channel. This is a great omen. Time to start my lazy day, on a lazy island, doing lazy things.

I MADE IT!!!

Well, I am here. And by here, I mean there. In Sanibel. An island off Fort Myers Florida. HOORAY!

It was an adventure getting here. First off, my dad was going to pull the boat with the Dodge Durango. This is ALWAYS a bad idea. Why? Because Durangos are made by DODGE, and that means only one thing.

The Durango broke today. My dad drove it to the gas station, filled the tank, then the ABS light started to go bonkers. The anti-lock brakes were not anti-locking. The Dodge dealer could not fix the problem till Monday.

So, this set off a whole chain of events. First, there was the standard "screw it! Vacation over!" line. My dad likes to bring all kinds of shit with him on vacation, so if everyone fit into my truck there is no way there would be room for all the "important" stuff. What did he bring? Salad dressing. And other shit like that. WHY?!!?!?!?

I reminded my dad that I pull the boat all the time. I use it more than he uses it (it is a community boat). My truck COULD pull the boat. And his old Honda COULD make the trip.

So the vacation was back on. I hitched up the boat, and all the crap in the Durango was loaded into the Honda and the open bed of my truck. Then we left. And only 1 1/2 hours behind schedule! Not bad!

I drove over here at 60 mph. But even at this snail pace, I had to pass two people who were driving even slower than me. What is the matter with people!?!?! I had an excuse, I was pulling a boat. Anyway, I could not use overdrive, because the truck would keep shifting into and out of the high gear.

Long story short, I bruned up 3/4 of the tank getting here. My tank holds 18.5 gallons. The distance is about 170 miles. You figure it out.

But I am here now! The first thing I did was take the IMPORTANT stuff out of my truck.

This is what the fridge looks like. When this photo was taken, there was only 8 beers in it. Well 7 beers. I was thirsty ok!??!

This is the freezer. I bought this stuff on the island. This is not enough booze, I will need more. What I bought was Myers Rum, and some crazy vodka made in, of all places, Ireland. Irish vodka? WHY NOT!

Once everything important was in the fridge or freezer, it was time to set up the wireless netowrk. So I did. You can see it in the photo above.

Now it was time to test the wireless device. It works fine! So far so good!

THis is the new crapper. It is really nice. The old bathroom had a large tile tub, and shower curtians. I like this new one much better. It looks cool. Very modern.Now it was time to stop screwing around and unpack the rest of the crap from the cars.

This is what my stuff looked like after the unpack. I crammed all this stuff in a plastic garbage bag. Unpacking was just a matter of dumping the bag.

And finally, I was finished.

This is my satellite radio boombox thing. It will not work on the porch, the antenna needs to look northwest. The patio faces southeast (I think). The radio works fine in my room, but not at all on the porch.

Oh well. Cant win em all. Now if you will excuse me, the frozen screwdriver I made is kicking in .