Beer Tour Of The United Kingdom, Part 1

Beer Name: Tanner's Jack
Origin: Morland England
Type: Brown Ale

This beer is from Morland England, brewed by the Greene King people. I would describe this beer as a fine brown ale. It kind of reminds me of Newcastle. Anyway, when I first tried this beer I was not very impressed. The label said it was “well hopped”, so I guess I was expecting an IPA. But I gave it a chance. I allowed the stuff to warm up a bit, and it got better! It is well hopped – for a brown ale. Alcohol content for this beer is probably not more than 4%. This makes the beer very drinkable, perfect for the hot Florida summer. The beer is very well balanced; it has enough hops to prevent the beer from being too malty, while at the same time allowing just a hint of malt sweetness. Brown ales are not supposed to be too hoppy. Tanner’s Jack would be a good boat beer, as the alcohol content is not too high. It would also make a good BBQ beer for the same reason. If you like brown ale, you will probably like Tanner’s Jack. But I am more of a pale ale person. But even with my finely tuned taste for pale ale. I would buy this beer again. On the Lazy Iguana scale of 1 - 10 pints, this beer scores a solid 8.

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Beer Name: Traquair House Ale
Origin: Scotland
Class: Scottish Ale (Scotch Ale)
Label Text: A handmade Ale brewed in the ancient Brew House of the oldest inhabited house in Scotland

This stuff is very good. It has a deep reddish color, and a very good smell. When poured into a glass, it almost looks like a porter, it is that dark. But held up to light, you can see its deep red color. The beer is balanced more to the sweet side than the hoppy side, but not so much so that it is too sweet. I can not find any information about the alcohol content, but I can tell you that it is high. More than 5%, but probably not more than 10%. I would split the difference and call it 8% if I had to guess. The beer full body of this beer can not be enjoyed till the beer warms up to just below room temperature, which for me is about 72 - 74 degress F, (about 25 degrees C if you are metric). On a scale of 1 - 10 pints, this beer can be given a 10. This is one damn fine ale. I wish I had bought more than one bottle.

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Beer Name: SkullSplitter Orkney Ale
Origin: Orkney Brewery, Scotland
Beer Type: Scotch Ale
Label Text: Orkney - A small group of islands off the northern tip of Scotland, shrouded in magic and mystery, was the home of Thorfinn Hausakluif ("The Skulsplitter") 7th century Viking Earl of Orkeny, around 1,000 AD.

This is the second Scotch Ale on the tour. Scotch Ales are usually very strong, but what would you expect people who consider hurling TREES around to be a sport? Not a weak girly man beer! Skullsplitter has a deep reddish color, and boasts an alcohol content of 8.5%. A few years ago, this beer would be unavailable in Florida, unless it was labeled a malt liquor. After a few pints of a beer like this, even a Viking Warrior-King would have trouble swinging a war axe.

The beer is very complex in taste. There is the usual malt/hops taste, it is very clear this is in fact a beer. But there is also a fruity-yeasty taste, and a medium smoky flavor. There is also some chocolate malt flavor going on, but judging by the final color not much chocolate malt was used (chocolate malt makes a very dark beer).
I was not really expecting this much from this beer. To be honest, the label screamed "buy me because I look cool". The perfect thing to hide a sub-standard beer behind. I will never underestimate any beer from Scotland named after a Viking Warlord again. This stuff is NOT for the timid casual beer drinker. If your idea of beer is a cold Old Milwaukee, this stuff will give you an ass kicking that you will not like. On the other hand, if you like stouts or strong ales, you will find Skullsplitter to be pretty good stuff.

I will give this beer a score of 8.5 pints. Very close to a perfect score. I think I would enjoy this beer more in the winter. It is just too hot to truly enjoy a 8.5% beer right now.

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Beer Name: Monty Python's Holy Grail Ale
Origin: Yorkshire, UK.
Type: Bitter Style Ale.
Label Text: Tempered over burning witches.

This beer is from The Black Sheep Brewery, and was first made in 1999 to commemorate the 30th anniversary of Monty Python's Flying Circus. As you can see, it was named after the most famous of all the Python movies, The Quest For The Holy Grail. So how is it? I do not know yet. I am letting the beer warm up a bit. But I am going to open it now. One moment please.

The beer has a golden ale-like color. I would light the ale shaped beacon over my house, but the hurricane outside would just blow it away. Also, the power JUST WENT OUT. When there is no electricity, it is hard to light the ale shaped beacon. Good thing the laptop has batteries! All real Floridians blog on a laptop, just in case this shit happens.
Back to the beer! Even though this IS technically a bitter, it has a malty finish, but there is enough hops to prevent the beer from being too sweet. It is actually very good stuff. When I bought it I thought "what a neat novelty beer", but this stuff is the real deal. The label might be silly in nature, but the beer inside the bottle is not like Brave Sir Robin. No chickening out or running away. Maybe this is because it was tempered over burning witches? I will have to look into that.
Now if you will excuse me, I have to go throw the empty bottle at a particularly nasty bunny. He may look cute, but he has long sharp fangs. I can not find my Holy Hand Grenade Of Antioch.

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Beer Name: Belhaven Scottish Ale
Origin: Scotland
Type: Scotch Ale

When you first pour this beer into a pint glass, it looks like the other scotch ales on the list. It kinda smells the same too. But all that is just for show. The other scotch ales have a fairly strong flavor - maybe too much for a lot of people. This one is more mellow. The typical smoky flavor is there, but it is less overpowering. This is one well balanced ale. If the other scotch ales are just too much for you, try a Belhaven. And if you do not like it - no problem! Mail the ones you do not drink to me. I will set up a post office box and post the address here later.
This beer also seems to not have a very high alcohol content. It is very hard to estimate alcohol in a beer. At the best, all you can do is classify it as light, normal, or high. I would call this one normal. In other words, 4 - 6 percent. It is on the high side of normal, so this is not exactly something you would want to kick back with on a hot summer day. But it would be PREFECT on a cool autumn day.

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Beer Name: Belhaven Wee Heavy
Origin: Scotland
Type: Scotch Ale

This is like the Belhaven Scottish Ale, only on roids. Jose Can-Suck-O (and the other roid monster baseball players) would like the steroids thing, but his taste in beer is highly suspect. This is not really a "heavy" beer, which is where the "wee" part comes in. It is a wee bit on the heavy side. I think the alcohol content is 8% or something. The name fits this beer perfectly.

The flavor is similar to the Scottish Ale, only more pronounced. The smoked wood flavor is in there. Not as much as in Traquair House, but more so than in Belhaven Scottish Ale. This is a good crossover beer for those who have grown to like a lighter scotch ale, and would like to move up to something more. I can get this beer at Titanic Restaurant and Brewery in Miami, so I will be drinking more of this wonderful beer in the days to come.

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So there you go. Part 1 of my beer tour. I have a bunch of other beers still in the fridge. A lot of what I have left are pale ales, but there are also porters, stouts, barley wines, and even some more stuff from Scotland. What you see here is about 1/3 of my stash. So far, this has turned out to be the best blog idea in the history of the universe.

If you find any of these beers in the store, buy a bottle. Or better yet, buy more than one bottle. If you do not like it, mail it to me. I will find a way to dispose of it properly.