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Monday, October 16, 2006

Got To Do Something Part II

If you will notice, yesterday's post was all about how I have to do something. So what did I do Sunday? Lets see!!!


1. Wake up.
2. Take my morning piss.
3. Read blogs.
4. Finish watching my Animaniacs DVDs from NetFlix (volume 1 disk 3, 4, and 5)
5. Put the watched Animaniacs DVDs in the mailbox.
6. Go to Titanic bar and Grill
7. Order a Captain Smith Rye Ale (Smith was the Captain of the actual RMS Titanic by the way).
8. Order some chicken wings.
9. Had another Rye Ale.
9. Had a shot of tequila.
10. Had two more Rye Ales.
11. Go home (I was not driving just FYI).
12. Had another beer.
13. Had another shot.
14. Made some coffee.
15 .Went on a bike ride to the Farm Store.
16. Rode back home.
17. Had another shot.
18. Drank the coffee.

And in case you were wondering, RMS means ROYAL MAIL STEAMER. HMS means HIS MAJESTY'S SHIP. HMS was ONLY used for ships of war. RMS was used for fast ships whose home port was in England and which were certified to carry mail. Not all ships registered in England were able to carry mail. Ships registered in England but not ships of war or mail steamers had some other designation. I have no idea what that designation was. If you do, please leave a comment! I read all comments, and I need to know any and all things nautical.

I AM a member of the United States Coast Guard Auxiliary. Really - I am! So I like to learn little bits of nautical trivia. I use this trivia to make other members of the flotilla think I know more about boats than I actually know. People in my flotilla think I am some sort of super mariner. Really - they do! But the truth is I have no idea what the hell I am doing. I have never met a sandbar I can not run aground on.

But all things boats aside - what the hell was I talking about? I forgot. OH YEA! I was talking about what I did today. Then I was distracted by the fact I went to the bar.

Anyhow, the crap I listed was pretty much EVERYTHING I got done today.

What is that? Not a whole lot? Well then smarty pants - what did YOU get done? Huh? Well, I am waiting!!! Go on - list EVERYTHING you did on Sunday! Can you list 18 things?? Well I did!!!! So there! If you can not list at least 18 things than you can not possibly say you did more than I did. And therefore, you were not more productive than I was! HA! Got you there! HA HA HA HA!

And do not think that tomorrow is not going to be just as productive! Hell no! I have an ass load of things planned for tomorrow. By the way, tomorrow is really today. I will count "tomorrow" as when I wake up. When ever the hell that is.

So here is what I want to do tomorrow!!!

1. Buy auxiliary reverse lights for my truck. I want to add two 55 watt sealed beam lights that turn on when I shift to reverse. You know - more light and shit. I may need to add a relay and run a direct 12v (fused) tap to the battery. ALWAYS put in a fuse!!!!!! Fires suck!!!!!!!!! Fuses prevent fires - and only YOU can prevent (any) fire. Only you. I may not actually do this.

2. Uhhhhh....OH YEA! Start the boat engine. And plan to take the boat out sometime this week. The weather will be good. I will probably do this,

3. Shit. I know there is something else. But I can not think of that right now. ONE MOMENT PLEASE!!!!

4. OH YEA! I remember now! I need to measure my tool box lid, and clean out my truck tool box. I have a master plan for the tool box. And here is the plan! I want to put in TWO 12v marine deep cycle batteries and a battery switch (so I can select battery 1, battery 2, or both batteries wired in parallel). I also want to add a solar panel (to keep both batteries fully charged at all times), a solar panel voltage regulator/battery charger, some lights so when I lift the tool box lid I can see shit, a 1000 watt peak power inverter (so I can plug crap into the truck tool box - like for example a blender!!!), and external 12v and 120v plugs so I do not have to open the tool box to plug shit in. I will wire the solar panel / voltage regulator/battery charger directly to the batteries. The switch will be wired to the 12v outlet and the power inverter. That way if I keep the battery switch to "off" everything will be off. Only when the switch is on "battery 1", "battery 2", or "both" will anything get power. But the charging circuit will always be hooked up. Ill post photos when I get all this stuff done. Trust me - it is going to kick ass.
Not at all likely to happen anytime soon.

5. In the space left in the tool box, I want to build a mobile bar. You know, foam in an area to build an ice chest, bolt in a speed rack to hold a few bottles of stuff, bolt in something to hold glassware, add a neon sign that plugs into the power inverter thing, and so on. It is going to TOTALLY kick ass!!!!!! It will kick ass, but no way this will happen anytime soon. I want to regain full time employment first. And even then, not very likely to happen.

6. Buy some food for Max The Lizard. MUST DO THIS!!!! Max is hungry. Poor lizard! Max is counting on me to provide him with food.

Anyhow, I should get two things done. Start the boat engine and get food for Max The Lizard.

By the way - this is Max having lunch. But this photo is of Max having a mouse lunch. Max is a bit larger now so I feed him rats. Rat crawlers to be exact. Not exactly "baby" rats, but not full grown either. Somewhere in the middle. He eats 5 rat crawlers at a time. And Max lives in a much nicer cage now.

NOW FOR THE GOOD PART!!!!!! If you are in Florida, and you read this blog, and you have my email address, and you know my personal phone number, and you live in and/or near the Tampa area - any day AFTER Wednesday will be a great day to hit Biscayne Bay in the boat.
It is not like I am working or anything. So make a plan to get down here already! I have a boat, time to use the boat, a stainless steel propane BBQ grill for the boat, and everything!

I am also planning on hitting Everglades National Park one night with my telescope. I can use it to look at stuff in the sky. It will also kick ass!!

After all, I DID tell the State that I wanted to be an astronomer when I filed for unemployment :)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like a plan. And you do NOT want to work where I do. I've always thought the lift drivers at cruise ship ports had the life, honestly...

I did not do much yesterday--more on Saturday.
1. got up
2. read paper
3. ate breakfast
4. read book
5. read some blogs
6. went running
7. took a peek at ebay, not that I neeeed anything
8. took a nap
9. helped to make dinner
10. went to bed

Whew, that was a stretch...

Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

Too bad you don't live nearby. We could have a lazy day together. Mondays and Friday afternoons are slow for me. We could eat wings together and I know this great place for beer...


Is that a mouse? Of course it's a mouse. Ewww.

I take it back.

Blogger Kristen said...

Elvis used to eat hamsters. She was my ball python. She died the same day Luther Vandross did.

Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Okay. Sunday. Sunday my Mormon missionary friend Bindy was here. So this is what I did.

1. got up
2. made breakfast
3. ate
4. dress (had to "dress up")
5. Drove Bindy to the Mormon church.
6. Attended 3 hours of services there.
7.& 8. I think that 3 damn hours of Mormon church counts for 3 f*cking things.
9. Came home
10. made and served dinner
11. cleaned up after dinner
12. went for an hour's walk with a religious nut.
13. came back and listened to more mormon stuff
14. served a blackberry pie which I had made the day before
15. cleaned up from that
16. talked more religion
17. yawned and said I had to go to bed
18. went to bed
Monday- got up to hear more stuff about getting to a better place in the next world....

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Hamsters? Arent they a bit on the expensive side? Rats are usually cheaper. Even if a rat and a hamster are pretty much the same thing.


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