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Monday, December 11, 2006

Great Start

The first part of this post was brought to my attention at The Lobster Messiah's blog.

You know that joke everyone keeps telling about America moving towards energy independence? Yea I know - its great. No matter how many times I hear it, I still laugh. It kind of reminds me of "The Aristocrats", except it is the punch line that changes with each telling. The set up is usually the same. The latest company to get in on this gag is Fisher Price.

It is the Fisher Price Powerwheels Escalade! According to Fisher Price, here are some of the features of this thing!

Kids ride in style in their very own realistic Cadillac Escalade EXT! A two-seat vehicle with working doors and all the bling of the real thing. Accurate details include molded windows, windshield, grill and side-view mirrors. This is a 12-volt vehicle with grass performance and a maximum speed of 5 mph. It also includes a battery charge indicator so you know exactly when it's time to "fill 'er up."

* Features a detailed dash with real FM radio and digital clock
* Included pretend CD player plays three musical tunes: Rap, Pop, and Rock
* Chromed-out wheels and tires
* Rear storage area
* Includes a convenient battery charge indicator

OK, where to start here! While I give credit to Fisher Price for equipping this toy with a 12v battery, and not its very own coal or oil fired power plant, what gives here! Do we need to train kids from a young age that real Americans buy huge ass trucks that get the worst MPG possible? Really now - the Escalade is a worthless vehicle. They cost a lot of money, and are set up for a luxury ride. Yet they are sold as a 4x4. You really need that 4 wheel drive in the city! Lots of people buy the pick up version of the Escalade to haul stuff. For off roading nothing is better than a set of low profile tires on oversize rims, the luxury interior, and the luxury car like ride. Only a total moron would buy one. If you want a truck, get a damn truck. If you want a luxury car, get a luxury CAR. Do not buy some oversize hunk of shit that tries to be both. When I take power, all registered owners of vehicles like the Escalade will be rounded up and "fixed" so they can not pollute the gene pool.

I also wonder just how far the toy Escalade can go on a battery charge. If it is like the real thing, it is going to need one hell of a long extension cord!

Next on today's agenda - Samuel Adams Old Fezziwig Ale. I got this stuff in a holiday 24 pack I picked up when I snuck into Costco. What a deal! Only $21 for 24 beers!

The holiday pack came with 4 each of 6 different beers. Boston Lager, Old Fezziwig Ale, Winter Ale, Holiday Porter, Cranberry Lambic, and Dark Ale. Boston Lager is common, as is the Dark Ale. The other stuff is associated with the holiday season.

To the good folks at Samuel Adams, "holiday beer" means malt. Lots and lots of malt. Old Fezziwig is no exception. It is heavy on the malt and light on the hops. The result is a heavy, full bodied, malty sweet beer with a hint of some spices. The label says something about nutmeg and orange, but I can not really say that I can taste nutmeg or orange. This is good, I am not a huge nutmeg fan. The spices are in the background, and just add a little twang to what would otherwise just be another (boring) overly malted beer. It kind of "tastes" like the holidays if you know what I mean. I give it a 6.5 overall, but rated as a malty sweet beer I would give it an 8. I am not that into the malty stuff, give me a hoppy IPA any day of the week!


Blogger Fuzz said...

I never have understood the Cadilac/Lincoln/Lexus/etc. SUV thing myself. If you really take it where you need 4WD you're probably gonna bust it up any way.

My understanding is that Samuel Adams was not exactly a brewer, he just owned a malt-house along with some other stuff. But I don't think this has any bearing on his politics.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Whatever. Whoever the original Samuel Adams was, if I ever invent a time machine I am going to back to party with the dude. Hell, Ill bring along a few cases of some Boston Lager with me. He will get a kick out of his legacy.

Samuel Adams makes some fine American beer. If you ask me, a Boston Lager can hold its own against fine beers from anywhere in Europe. Of course you have to compare apples with apples here. Lager with lager, ale with ale, etc. Putting a Boston Lager up against a fine IPA is just not fair.


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