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Sunday, December 03, 2006

New Fun Icon Thing!

As you may have noticed, this site is certified 33% evil. That is not very evil at all! Saying this blog is only 33% evil implies that it must be 67% good. That is fairly good! If you want to know how evil this post is (or how evil any other post is for that matter) - just copy all the text to your clipboard, then click the evil icon thing, click the link that says "analyze another site or text" and paste the WHOLE POST in the text area.

So what is this evil calculator thing? I am not sure to be honest. All I know is that according to it, my blog is 33% evil. I would have guessed it was more evil than that. Go figure.

As far as I can figure out, the calculator is based on the same BS the famous "Bible Code" is based on. Numerology. Total crap. I can not figure out exactly how words are translated into numbers. At first you think A=1 B=2 C=3 and so on. But not exactly! Here are some word examples from my blog - and their good / evil rating.

FAX. Word value is 607 (can you figure this out? 6+1+24=31 not 607!). 6+0+7=13. This word is SUPER EVIL!!!!!! (99% evil)

Marijuana. Word value 502. 5+2=7. This word is SUPER GOOD (1% evil)

Alabama. Word value 76. 7+6=13, or 43% evil because "Alabama" has 7 letters.

Now see why numerology is total bullshit? Fax is evil? Marijuana is good? OK OK bad example! I picked some really crappy words to make my point. So let me dig up more examples.

LAWYER. Word value 1326. 13x102=1326, lawyer is a pretty evil word
LAWYERS. Word value 1426. 1+4+2+6=13. EVIL!
Overall, if you input "lawyer lawyers" the result is only 20% evil. What gives?

Just in case you are wondering, ACCOUNTANT rates as 99% good.

So the singular "lawyer" is more evil than the plural "lawyers"?? Huh? And to take it further it takes 13 letters to spell "lawyer" and "lawyers". More evil! But if you count the consonants you get 7, which is good! The calculator is based in the Finnish Alphabet so Y is ALWAYS a vowel here. Do not worry - I already checked. The Finnish Alphabet is the same as the English Alphabet with the addition of three letters AFTER Z.

Now for more fun, lets see what happens when I input "Lazy Iguana" and "Politician". Well "lazy" and "iguana" do not come up in the analysis at all. But politician does! Here are the results. Word value 441. 441=7x7x9. Value of all words is 2340, which is also 13x180. By the way, these three words alone rank 98% evil. Politician by itself is 99% good.

So much for me running for office! It seems I can take something 99% good and turn it into something 98% evil. And people say I have no useful abilities!

But what is more amusing is that people still believe in this numerology bullshit! What needs to be done to prove it is all made up? I hope that this internet evil/good calculator thing will be a good start. Go on, CLICK IT! Just for fun. The analysis of my blog alone is slightly fun to read. You can see the straws the calculator is grasping at!

And now, some shameless plugging to increase my evil rating!!!

fax or by post he clown tag blogshares panel revenge confederate retired drive into owners blue for win strong fax fax fax fax fax fax fax fax fax.

There. Now I will post this and re-calculate my blog! Will it be more evil or more good? Who knows. Either way, the result is 100% pure bullshit.


Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

HA! It worked! This post is 41% evil, and once published on the blog it pushed my site up to an overall rating of 39% evil!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

HA! And I get over here about 80% of the time, which makes me 32.8% evil!

Did I just see you over at Doug's for the FIRST time? That's a really neat game, and so weird that TLP's comment on my blog led me to peek over there, when I know he's gone--some kind of familial brainwave-vibe thing.

Is the word SEX evil? Do words left in your comments have any bearing? Honestly, you have more patience than I ever would with this numerology jumbo.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Math is power. I always wondered how the code hunters ran the numbers.

By the way, sex comes up with nothing. 50% evil 50% good. Totally neutral. But "fuck" rates 329 which is 7x47 AND 3+2+9=14=7x2 - 99% good.

I am still trying to crack this code.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

BREAKTHROUGH! I think the code is calculated as follows

a=1 j=10 s=100
b=2 k=20 t=200
c=3 l=30 u=300
d=4 m=40 v=400
e=5 n=50 w=500
f=6 o=60 x=600
g=7 p=70 y=700
h=8 q=80 z=800
i=9 r=90

Thus the word score for FAX is 607. 6+1+600. Yea. But the number crunching is still is question here. I do not feel like trying to figure out the formula used by the site to calculate the evil / good score.

Blogger Kristen said...

Maybe the math corresponds to tax cut and Social Security benefits math.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

I never thought of that angle!


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