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Saturday, January 06, 2007

Weekend Fun And Alligators.

You know what I need here? More pictures of alligators. So today I am going to haul my bicycle out to Everglades National Park and ride the Shark Valley loop. Yup. I need to do stuff like this NOW because once all the ice melts Shark Valley will be more shark than valley. This should not be a big shock to us Florida residents - if you live in South Florida you should know that you are standing on the remains of an ancient coral reef. Guess what that means genius? Florida was once under water. Yup - all that limestone Rinker mines and turns into concrete is part of an ancient reef. And seeing as how the rock mines have made some rather large holes, why not replenish those holes with MORE CORAL!?!?!? It will be cool. I always wanted to race down the narrow downtown streets in my boat. The intersections will be a whole lot of fun to navigate. And can my anchor hold on pavement? Probably not. But diving in the sunken lobby of a large bank building will be super cool.

Now about that link above this post. On the Gobhole blog (link in the left sidebar) there is a silly contest going on. It is simple really - post a photo of the front and back seat of your car. I guess the photo that contains the most crap wins. So if you really want to see all the crap I am packing around with me click the link.

Onto the FUN part! It seems that due to some EVIL tear in space and time, I managed to get on the RNC mail list. Yes that RNC. The evil RNC. The RNC that nobody shall ever mention by name lest the hordes of hell be unleashed on the Earth for all of eternity.

This is not always such a bad thing. Sometimes it is downright amusing. Like in 2004 when the RNC asked me to contribute money to the Republican party. They sent a nice letter explaining how if the Republicans loose the terrorists win and that they needed me to do my part and contribute by placing a check into the handy pre-paid envelope. If I really wanted to be cool I could put a stamp in the envelope and save them the return postage.

So I sent $500. Yup, I sent $500. In Monopoly money. You got it! I dug out the Monopoly game, removed an orange $500 bill, stuck it into the return envelope, checked off the box for $500 on the card that contained my name and address, and sent it off.

I forgot to put on my own postage. OOPS! But what is 39 cents when I sent off $500!

You know what is the funniest thing? I got another request for money in 2006. Help preserve the majority! The letter used far more urgent language. It was all up to me to keep babies from being murdered and stuff. I was asked to dig deep because the moral core of America was at stake.

I knew what had to be done. It was all up to me. I had to do my civic duty! I noticed that the little boxes next to suggested values had a maximum value of $2,000. So I sent $2,000. In Monopoly money. They never specified what kind of money to send - so I assumed Monopoly money. Four $500 bills. Nobody can say that anything is my fault now!

In 2008 I plan to up the ante a bit, with money from Life. That game has $100,000 bills. I hope I am still on the RNC list! I should be, I am a good contributor.

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12 Comments:

Blogger dusty said...

O thats rich..you rock m'dear..seriously you do..or..unseriously..hey, I am medicated and the ramblings are a result of medical science..not my fault :P

01:34  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

I am proud of the Monopoly Money idea. It is probably the best idea I have ever come up with.

Why the hell can't I sleep?!?!

01:41  
Blogger Badoozie said...

ok, that is bad....how can you stand that....ICK

02:34  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

I clean out my vehicle to make it all nice and sparkley and stuff - but then the junk creeps in. It is an unstoppable force, much like the rising tide. It starts off small. A towel for example. Or a plastic bag from something I buy. And the tide keeps rising. And rising.

Before I know it, when I open the doors crap falls out. So I throw everything out and go back to all nice and tidy.

But the tide always returns. I think it has something to do with the gravity of the moon.

09:26  
Blogger actonbell said...

Oh, LI, what a fantastic idea! DO send them a "Get Out of Jail, Free" card, send your best regards to Tom DeLay.

14:10  
Blogger actonbell said...

Egads, but you're a victim of entropy...

14:12  
Blogger Senor Caiman said...

Dude,

I thought Metro-Dade people just threw their trash out on the street. Are you some sort of tree-hugger?

Limestone is the new gold. Coal burning power plants need it for their scrubbers. Then the by-product can be converted to gypsum.

Excellent post.

16:09  
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Love the fake money idea! I'm gonna steal it.

But the car! Good God Gertie boy. Clean that mess up.

17:09  
Anonymous Debbie said...

I am here from Susie's to see your car! You have my vehicles beat with no problem!

The thing with the Monopoly money might catch on. Never thought of that and might have to give it a try! LOL

19:11  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your car looks exactly like I thought it would. And I say that with respect and admiration!

And the Monopoly money idea is classic! .

20:57  
Blogger Cheesemeister said...

You should let alligators eat the mess in your car.

03:03  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Good idea! I never thought of that.

03:18  

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