This page best viewed with

A Book By CM. Click To Get A Copy

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets
Created by OnePlusYou

No Rights Reserved. Take Anything You Want, But If You Steal Any Text Link To Here.

Send Your Hate Mail To


Sloth:Very High

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

King Gambrinus - Patron Saint of beer.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Baynanza Recap

What a day it was!

The event started at 9 AM, but I was at the ramp and in the water by 0730.

Now who ever said divorce was a bad thing? You see, one of the people I transported told me about a friend of hers that has a boat that "she wants out of her yard". It is a 1997 something with twin engines. The lady pointed at a boat with a walk around cuddy cabin with an enclosed helm and said "it looks just like that, only it has twin engines".

The boat is a divorce special. The lady ended up with it, and she does not use it. It has sat on a trailer for a few years it seems. The boat and engines are a 1997 package. The engines are started every few weeks, or so the person claims. The lady on my boat was not the owner, but mentioned that the owner would sell it for "$7,000". Now if the boat has twin engines in good shape, that is not a bad price really. So hopefully someone calls me about it. But the boat could suffer from issues relating to a lack of care. Leaving a boat to sit is bad - both on a trailer or in the water. The water is worse, but even on land there are issues. Water gets in the fuel tank. Varnish and gunk clog up the engine. Trailer parts go bad. Tires rot. If the boat is left out in the rain, water collects in the bilge and corrodes wires. Wood in the deck rots. Foam collects water and gets heavy as shit. And so on.

Too bad I did not get this lead sooner. The woman might have been so pissed off at her ex that I could have bought the boat for $5 or something. Then she could have had the satisfaction of telling the guy "I sold your fucking boat, here is your half of the $5 I got rid of it for". That would have been bad to the bone. For me, not for the guy.

Now back to Baynanza!

It seems that Miami-Dade County D.E.R.M. needs some intelligent people living in Canada and who just finished their undergrad work to apply for a job with them. Because the people working there now seem to all ride the short bus to Special Town every day.

The boat ramp fees were not waived. I had to pay the usual $10. You would have thought that DERM could have mailed all the volunteer boat captains some kind of slip that would have allowed a one day free pass for their designated marina. But noooooo. Nobody did this. Or at least nobody told the part time marina attendant this. But whatever - Parks and Recreation probably needs the money.

I got some cool photos of ICW markers, slaves from the Tax Collector's Office collecting garbage as opposed to your money, a shot of the Carnival Imagination tied up at the Port Of Miami, and a pirate ship that tried to board me but me blunderbuss staved the scurvy dogs off.

In other boat news, the guy "selling" the Trophy I posted about is still selling the thing. But he is a strange one. The ad said "moving, must sell" but he never returned any calls. I tried to get him to call back for two weeks. But the boat is still listed, so I called the dude again. It seems he is now "out of the State" and will not be back till Thursday. What a goof. Usually when someone is selling a boat and you call them, they call you back every 6 - 12 hours asking "so, you want to come by and look at the boat now?!".



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am willing to be no divorced lady has started those engines every two weeks for two years. No WAY! I'm willing to bet that woman is not accurate, beware when dealing with women boat sellers. They typically don't know anything about it. She should have let her ex have the boat and taken the time share.

so, you had fun then?

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Yea. The day was good. I met up with some friends who were out in their boat but had nothing to do with Baynanza.

Supposedly, someone else ran the engines. Not the lady. But I have secret ways of knowing what is up.

You check to see if the engine is warm. You also look for evidence that the engine was recently started, like the ground is still wet and stuff. You also watch to see if the ball has to be squeezed. They should have to squeeze the ball because marine engines do not have a fuel pump like cars do.

I can also ask to pull a spark plug and look for signs of normal wear, signs of neglect / problems, or new plugs. New plugs usually indicate a problem.

Blogger Victoria said...

"It seems that Miami-Dade County D.E.R.M. needs some intelligent people living in Canada and who just finished their undergrad work to apply for a job with them. Because the people working there now seem to all ride the short bus to Special Town every day." Haha. Made me laugh. In the library, of all places!

Blogger Daisy said...

I am mad that they made you pay the boat ramp fee when you were volunteering!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

squeezing balls? that is a sure fire way of knowing what is up, i'll say

Blogger Senor Caiman said...


Be careful when i was a lad I purchased a 17ft Checkmate that had been sitting. I put a 200 hp Merc on it with steel plates and the transome cracked the first time out. Luckily I was keeping the boat at a high and dry so they were able to get it on the fork before it sank.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Victoria - just something to keep in mind. You may be able to take the agency over and then give my a job doing environmental patrol in he DERM boat. That would rule.

Daisy - Parks Department needs the money.

Ba Doozie - You have more names than my boat. In nautical jargon, the squeeze ball is this thing that hangs out near the outboard engine. You squeeze it to prime the engine so it will start.

Caiman - a 200 hp on a 17 foot boat? You know there is a plate on boats that tells you the maximum horsepower engine the thing can handle. You probably over powered the boat. My 18 footer is rated at 140 HP, but I have a 150 on it. Finding a 140 HP is a lot harder than finding a 150.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

loved the joke....I'm not good at jokes....but you are

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

I am like Jokey Smurf - only taller and not so blue. Also I have more gags than the same old "bomb in a box" bit. Bombs in boxes are not funny anymore thanks to that crazy Ted Unibomber guy.

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

Yeah, I have to say if I was trying to unload a boat I'd be checking my messages. Who knows?
Damn Unibomber. The only thing funnier than a bomb in a box wrapped up with a nice ribbon is a bomb inside a birthday cake.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Exploding cakes are always funny - as long as the explosion is designed only to get cake everywhere and not kill anyone.


Post a Comment

<< Home