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Thursday, August 30, 2007

Time For A New Party Logo!

So it seems that there is yet another crisis for the Republican Party. Well not really a "crisis", more like an "incident". I have a suggestion on how to deal with this incident. See the picture to the right? How about making this the new logo for the Republican Party! Why not. Might as well be honest about it all.

Now one might think that I am just going to gloat and point out that here is yet another "I hate all gays" guy whose voting record is very predictable. A good wholesome pro family upstanding guy who always voted on the side of morality and goodness.

Also a self hating, looking for love in all the wrong places, bathroom trolling, show tunes listening, YMCA dancing, flamer.

It is a mighty long fall off that moral high horse huh Larry Craig? If you are going to make a big deal over being on that horse, you better not be doing ANYTHING. Got it? Nothing.

Not that I really care. But this is in the news and I can make jokes about it. So I will. But really I do not care what the man is or is not. I think that if you really care about this stuff so much (EVERYONE on Fox News) it must be due to the fact that you are gay yourself and you are looking for a hot date. Therefore you want to know who is of your persuasion so you know who to ask out. Otherwise - why care? Why waste valuable space in your memory? If I have to choose to remember the hot oracle chick's boob in the movie 300 or which Republican is gay - I am going to choose the boob. But that is just me. There are so many boobs to remember out there, and so little space left in my memory. I just can not spare a single brain cell on this crap.

Anyhow, Larry Craig needs a theme song. This is a trying time for him, and I have compassion. A good theme song is needed for EVERY public relations campaign. So I rounded up a few choices.

Of course, there are the obvious ones. Like this ditty by THE WEATHER GIRLS. This may work for Larry's new theme song. But that may be just a bit too obvious. As would Song 1 and Song 2 by The Village People. Yea I know - WAY too obvious. Although I have to admit I would not know right away that Song 2 was. But everyone knows YMCA and Macho Man.

By the way, funny YMCA story. When I was on my cruise last year I ended up leaving a really generous tip for the waiter and assistant waiter. You see, the EVIL CRUISE SHIP company made the poor people do the YMCA dance for the amusement of the people in the dining room. The waiter was this really nice guy from India and the assistant waiter was this cute chick from some Eastern European Country. I felt bad for them. This is what they think American culture is? The YMCA?!?!? Shit, I would have had them do the Safety Dance or wear flower pots on their head and do the Devo thing.

Anyway, back to the theme song voting. I hope you are clicking the links because you will have to vote! Help the man out!

And since we are in the 80s and have left the horrible disco behind, here are a few possible theme song choices!

We have THIS ONE by Josie Cotton. And also we have THIS CLASSIC by The Waitresses. Both acceptable theme song possibilities. But once again - so obvious.

So using the power of the internet, I found songs by people I did not even know about. Like "The Gerbil Song" by Stephen Lynch. I found this gem on Frostwire. Who even knew about this? People really do that with gerbils? Lets ask Richard Gere. There is this long standing rumor that says is not true.

And them I found some comedy bits. Of course. My secret stash of comedy bits never fails. So here are some more theme song possibilities.

Gay Square Dance

And then there are some theme songs I found for the ENTIRE Republican Party. I think these two fit in well with their new logo.

Everybody Knows You're Gay
We Swear We Are Not Gay

So there. Pick your favorite, and vote in the comments section.

Classic. Like this guy was fooling anyone? Just look at this totally not altered photo. And now we are supposed to be surprised?



Anonymous Anonymous said...

maybe a nipple? and their slogan can say "take a suckle off the zipple"

Blogger TLP said...

I clicked on every damn link, and I still like YMCA best for his theme song. For the logo, I'd go with an ostridge. The GOP has its head in the sand about what's important and what's not.

Leave gays alone. Let women control their own bodies and make their own choices. The government is supposed to handle the country, not micro manage people's lives.

Blogger Fuzz said...

Politics attracts these people. There is something about power that twists people.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Doozie - It is all crazy. Don't we have bigger things to worry about than who is looking for love in the men's room? There is a friggin WAR going on here! That is more important if you ask me.

TLP - I did not include YMCA, but I did include San Francisco. You never hear that one. YMCA is played out.

Fuzz - I am starting to think you have to be an asshole to run for any office above a local level. At least at the local level we the people have more control over things.

Blogger Herr Krokodil said...

The Lazy,

If I'm in a public place I'll use the ladies room, I just don't like taking chances with the Gays.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Wear astronaut diapers. That way you do not need to use a public toilet.

I have learned to hold it in. Sometimes I have to use a rubber band.

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

One of my gay friends pointed out that the most hateful, bitchy guys (also the guys who trumpet how MACHO they are and loudly refer to women in terms of body parts)are usually closet queens. There are few more loathsome people than closet queens. Unfortunately in my dark and retarded past, I had (failed, duh!) relationships with a couple of them. These guys hate themselves, they hate women because no women can make them feel the desire they're supposed to feel for women, and they're not man enough to go ahead and be gay. Bah! Give me a real drag queen any day!
That bottom picture is classic! And thanks for the great songs!
No rush on reading the book--it isn't programmed to self destruct or anything. My own son will probably end up reading it when he's 30. Then again, he's probably sick of hearing me bitch about writers' block and what a hell it is to promote it. One of these days I'll wake up with duct tape over my mouth, because I probably talk about it in my sleep.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

CM - I think a lot of people are still in the closet. It seems to me that a lot of people (mostly on the RIGHT by the way) are obsessed with finding out who is gay. It is all they think about. Important legislation is held up in committee, but anytime a law to keep gays from doing something pops up - it is voted on right away. And the right makes a huge deal of pointing out the names of those who vote for it. It is like all they care about are gays, and what they are doing. And how they are doing it. DETAILS! They all want details.

So why is this the case? What do they care so much for? Huh?? I have my theories.


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