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Friday, March 28, 2008

Adventures In Market Research

As promised, here is the update to the beer marketing research thing I did!

I can't talk about it. There is the update. No really - I had to sign a thing saying I would not talk about it.

But.....I was also already paid. So what are they going to do if I do blab? Take back my $60? Good luck there! What if I already spent it on more beer? OK - want the beer back? No problem! Give me a jug and Ill piss in it. And then you can sell my piss to a pot head looking for a job because my piss is certified 100% drug free.

So Ill blab. I do not know what I had to drink. That was a secret. I was taken to some room and I had to answer some basic questions. I forgot what these questions were about. I think it was demographics stuff.

I should also add that I prepared for the event by fasting. NO FOOD before the free beer. I wanted to get the full effect of the beer. The taste test was at 8 PM, so you could say I had an empty stomach.

After the initial questions I was given a somewhat stale cracker and a little water. And of course a whole pint of cold mystery beer. Then I had to drink it and answer more questions.

So I hold it up to the light. I notice the color is a sickly yellow. So it is a lite beer. OK fine - no big deal. Most beer consumed in America is lite.

It has a lite beer kind of smell. Which was exactly what I expected based on the color.

Now whatever the hell this stuff was, it was supposed to have some sort of "spice" to it. I know this because one of the questions was something like "how cabo-style is the beer". Cabo style? What the hell is that? Caribbean style. Thats that it means.

The stuff will be marketed as a "Caribbean flavor beer" or whatever. That is if it makes it to the market. See I was one of the people taking part in the study to determine if there is a market for it.

I do not know who makes it. I SUSPECT it is Corona - but this is just a guess. I have no evidence to support this view.

Anyhow I had to evaluate the beer while I was drinking it. How smooth was it. Very smooth. In fact, it was like water with a very slight beer sort of flavor. Can't get much smoother. How bold was it? Not bold at all. Bold is the opposite of smooth. How "drinkable" was it? Fairly drinkable, because it was like water that gets you drunk. Would I consider it a "premium" beer? Hell no. I would consider it another light beer in an already crowded light beer market.

OH YEA! I almost forgot. The pre-beer questions. One question was "how likely are you to buy a micro-brew just to try it"? Very likely. Thats how. In fact - I am ALWAYS looking for micro beers to try. Another question was "how much do you like beer commercials"? Really? How much do I like beer commercials? How about not at all. ZERO! And then "how likely are you to drink a beer because of a celebrity endorsement"? Are they serious? NOT AT ALL! I wrote that a celebrity endorsement for anything makes me LESS LIKELY to try it.

Anyhow after the first beer I was taken to the "chill out room" where I was given two more pints.

After that, I was on beer factor three with no food. I was feeling a little better. I was thinking "this crap is not so bad". And really it was not so bad. I mean it was a lite beer but it did have some taste to it.

I was then taken back to the question room where I had to answer the same questions I was asked while sampling the first pint. So this gave them pre drinking data and post drinking data - to see how opinions may have changed. I pretty much answered them the same except for one question. "How much would you drink on a typical beer drinking session". The first answer was "2 - 3", which to me means 2. Well I had to change that to 6 or more.

You see, this stuff is a lite beer. I can see this as a good binge beer. You do not want to binge on heavier beer. So I was thinking, say I am out at the beach or on the boat and it is summer and hot as hell. Do I really want a thick heavy beer? Oh hell no! I want something lighter and refreshing and stuff. So in this case, I may very well consume a bunch of the mystery beer.

I even indicated on the "when would you want to drink this beer" questions that it would be a good beach and boat beer. Yes, boat beer WAS an option. But would it be a good house party beer? Not for me. I would get better beer and drink less of it.

I have a mystery envelope that was given to me when the survey was over. I may get called back tomorrow. Maybe. If I am called, I get another $15. If I am not called then I am not called. The envelope is sealed with a sticker that says "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL CALLBACK". So I will not open it.

I am also going to register with this outfit to take part in future studies. Apparently, I missed a GREAT one. They had an amphibious car that they were allowing people to test drive. Both on land AND in the water! Holy shit! I am bummed I missed that one. I would have got $100 for driving a jet boat / car thing. I want in on the next thing like that!



Anonymous Anonymous said...

that was one of the funniest things i have read in a long time!!!!

how good would it be if they would combine the beer tasting with the amphibious car testing.....oh the possibilities.

Blogger Fuzz said...

Glad you found a new job

Blogger Scarlet W. Blue said...

Some people have all the luck! Although I'd rather test some ales. I can't believe you didn't open that envelope. C'mon, you opened it, didn't you?

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

Beer Tester--nice work if you can get it! Wonder if I could make my current salary being a beer tester without becoming a complete lush.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Ponder -Anything is possible I suppose.

Fuzz - I would not call this a "job". It is more like "something to do for extra ca$h that I do not have to report to the IRS unless I want to".

Scarlet - the envelope clearly says "do not open" :)

CM - this place is a full time market research outfit. They are constantly researching shit. Not just beer either, all sorts of stuff.

Blogger M@ said...

like water with a very slight beer sort of flavor.


Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

M@ - you will probably LOVE this stuff. I think Corona is going to market it.


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