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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Marketing Ideas Gone Wrong

Time for a UPS update!

The driver dude came by, and I just happened to have made arrangements to be here. It is the same driver that always covers this area. And you know what? It seems he is always going to the same places. Not everyday. But some houses get more stuff than others, and the driver remembers those locations. The guy left the item by the door and I guess it just walked off.

So I was given this thing to sign. But you know what? I forgot to read it. There was not much written on it. I think I did read it (I usually read shit before I sign it) but I can not remember what it said. So I will just assume it said "I did not get my shit and so I am making a claim against someone (UPS or the insurance company UPS uses) so that I get the shit I ordered".

If not - there will be a charge back on the credit card. But I really do not want to do that. I really want my LED navigation side lights. I also do not think that the boat stuff place should eat the loss here. They did not do anything wrong. Of course neither did UPS. Some asswipe seems to have walked off with my shit. I hope terrorists packed Ebola in with the navigation lights - and that everyone in the extended and immediate family of the thief was infected.

Anyhow, feeling despondent over the lack of cool LED navigation side lights I decided that what I needed to do was get more crap. And then I remembered that I had a $10 gift card for Boater's World I got from the Miami Boat Show for signing up for one year unlimited towing insurance with Sea Tow. Well why not use that $10 card now?

As you can guess, I got the thing you see to the left. The bag, not the horse collar type II life jackets. The bag holds 6 of those style life jackets. Well I do not have those type II life jackets. I have type III life jackets. Type III life jackets are more comfortable to wear, but may not turn the wearer face up. I may get some type II life jackets, but not right now. So instead of having room for 6 life jackets in the bag I can only stuff four of my type III jackets in the thing. So counting the inflatable life jacket I got for myself I can carry enough life jackets for 5 people on board. But I have to be wearing the inflatable life jacket for it to count during an inspection.

So what is the beg deal? Why the life jacket bag? Well look at the picture again. See how it fits under the top? Out of the way, yet readily accessible. The perfect place for life jackets. Also there is some bungee cord on the bottom of the bag which I can keep my type V throwable device. Out of the way, yet plainly visible and accessible.

Thus freeing up storage somewhere else. Like in the center console, or the bow dry storage place.

There is one problem with the thing however. A MAJOR marketing issue.

It is called the "T-Bag". Really. T-Bag. It even says "T-Bag" on t he front of it. In big white letters. The bag itself is black.

So why if this a marketing problem? Well for those of you who are not already laughing let me break it down.

"Teabagging" was largely unknown, until the John Waters film "Pecker". No, it is not what you think. "Pecker" is the name of the main character who is an amateur photographer. It was a funny movie. At least I think I remember it as being funny. John Waters movies are sort of out there.

Anyhow in one scene there is a male exotic dancer named "Earl Grey". While dancing around in briefs (it is his job after all) he goes up to a customer, and places his nut sack on the customer's face. Over and over. Kind of like how people dunk tea bags into hot water. The bartender then says "hey - don't teabag the customers".

Thus was born the act of teabagging. It is not really known if teabaging was invented by the movie or not.

The marketing people for the company that makes the T-Bag must not watch John Waters movies.

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Blogger M@ said...

There's this girl at work, an accountant, who's from Albania. Her name is Tea.

Naturally, I've come up with a nickname for her.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

M@ - is she hot? Does she know what her nickname means? Are you going to show her?

Be careful! Sexual harassment suits are a bitch. It is a good way to loose your job.

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

A security guard at a Marilyn Manson concert sued Marilyn Manson for teabagging him. Unfortunately the dude was already bald. If Mariyn Manson teabagged me, I'd shave off my hair and sell it on ebay to one of his more obsessive fans!


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