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Thursday, March 20, 2008

Apply The Leaches

The day has arrived! Today I get to go talk to some lawyer to seek legal advice.

I had to fill out some questionnaire thing - which I did. I was very careful filling it out because the consultation is expensive. It seems lawyers think they are worth $100 for 20 minutes. But the review of the questionnaire thing is "free". The way I think it works is they review the shit I hand to them, and then the consultation consists of them asking more questions which I then answer.

I think I have a case here. But what the crap do I know? I am just some jerk wad who is not worth $100 for 20 minutes of what some people call "work".

No but seriously I think I have a valid gripe here. And if the lawyer agrees then the games begin. And should I prevail then someone else pays the legal fee. If this happens then I do not care what they charge. Charge $1000 for 20 minutes - if I am not paying for it I do not care. In fact when I do win I WANT the legal bill to be some obscene amount so that it all comes back to the person who decided to break the rules and that person has to answer to the higher powers. That ought to be good.

My questions have gone unanswered. I am being ignored in the hope that I just go away. But I am not planning to just go away. So they can either answer me (which they decided not to do) or they can answer a letter sent by a lawyer. Lets see them ignore that!

I do not know what the final outcome will be.



Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

Good luck! I'll keep my fingers crossed for ya! ;o)

Blogger M@ said...

There's nothing more American than lawyering up.

Recently, I gave up an ambition to attend law school and threw out my LSAT prep books. But I do relish a good fight and filing a law suit in superior court (on my own) was very satisfying.

I just have this urge to fuck people up in court.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Saur - Awesome. I am sure that will help in some sort of obscure cosmic way that mankind can not possibly understand!

M@ - I am thinking this firm will be MY firm. I mean, once this situation is resolved and I am victorious I will keep the law firm on retainer. You never know when you need a lawyer because people are fucking with you. I am not really on the offensive here, I am on the defensive. The offensive comes later. I am about ready to unleash the dogs of war.

Anonymous krok02 said...


I've never thought of using your strategy, I always just get even with the person who wronged me. You can't just follow the guy home at night and shoot him? I've found that I'm so much more happy when I resolve my problems quickly. Your way seems like it's going to be time consuming and a pain.

Blogger Lily Strange said...

The only time I ever obtained a lawyer was about 15 years ago when I moved out of this place and the dickwad land-whore who was the manager accused me of "stealing the carpet and the stove." Please--why the fuck would I want carpet as old as I was, and stealing a stove might be, dare I say, obvious. All they wanted was a mere $1200. My lawyer wrote them a letter and they predictably fucked off. Stupid jerks!

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Krok - I am all about the non violence. Like Gandhi, only not from India. And I am not opposed to the British. And taller. And more hair. And I do not wear robes. And I am not Hindu. And I am known to consume cow products. So not really like Gandhi at all.

CM - I am hoping that the letter I am having them send accomplishes all I need to accomplish. That would be sweet. If not then I may take it to the next level.


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