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Thursday, June 12, 2008


Once again, I had this idea for a post and then I forgot it.

This happens frequently. It really is amazing I can keep coming up with material for this blog. I amaze even myself.

I want a snack. But I have none. And it is 2:30 AM. I am pretty much screwed. I could go out and forage for food, but I am too lazy.

And just where does one forage for food at 2:30 AM? Good question. There were some 24 hour supermarkets around here. But I think they all close at midnight now. That sucks.

There is always Denny's. They have some after 10 PM and before 6 AM specials. There is an option. Along the same lines there are some Cuban places that never close.

So if I really wanted to, I could go to one of these places. But then I have to get up, drive there, park the vehicle, walk in, order food, and so on. What a mission.

And then there are some drive up places that are open late. Really late. But......well at some point you just have to wonder if it is all worth it. Do I really need food that bad? To resort to Taco Bell or McDonalds?

No. Nobody in America needs food that bad. Really. You see the same people I see waddling around. You see the people stalking the parking lots waiting for the spot right next to the mall entrance to open up when 50 feet away there are a thousand empty spots.

Heaven forbid ANYONE has to walk a few steps!

And then there is the one segment of the economy actually GROWING. The motorized scooter market. I am seeing more and more of these things. Who needs knees? Why just gorge yourself with cheeseburgers and when your mass is so great that your knee cartilage collapses in on itself like a black hole leaving you unable to walk - just get a motorized scooter! Problem solved.

So no, America DOES NOT NEED a 24 hour drive up McDonalds window. But we have them! At the intersection of Turd Road (SW 40th street) and 67th ave there is one.

This brings up another interesting thing. You have probably heard that ethanol is driving up food prices. Because corn is used to make ethanol and not used for food.

Now I will not dispute that ethanol is a scam. Maybe the technology can be improved, but right now more energy is put into the production of ethanol than is harvested from it.

And yes, the ever increasing price of diesel fuel is putting pressure on food prices.

But NOBODY is talking about the pressure on food prices this guy is creating. All by himself. Now what you see here is the result of years of training. This does not happen overnight. You have to consume massive amounts of energy. Enough food to maintain three or four people. Every day. For a long time.

Of course this guy (found using Google images) is not alone. He has a lot of friends.

Now using Lazy Iguana math, I figure we can REDUCE food demand in the USA by at least 20%. This will result in lower food prices, and/or provide more stuff with which to make ethanol with.

How? How can we reduce food demand by 20%??
Easy. Close the 24 hour McDonalds. We do not need them.

I put some white seedless grapes in the freezer. They should be frozen by now. You should try this. They do not freeze solid. They freeze to this semi-solid like state. You can chew them without breaking teeth.

And best of all, they make the PERFECT "ice cubes" for your white wine.

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Blogger Bee Repartee said...

Ooh, la la. That dude is bringing sexy back. He looks like Santa at a nudist commune.

I would ask you to provide input of these subjects sometime in the next month or two of posts:

•A good cell provider (I have tmob and they have been good but $$$ so I'm trying to find cheaper. Cricket?)

•How much apple sucks for making a new and improved iPhone when you just bought one less than a year ago.

•Why Julian Mcmahon continues to wax his eyebrows like a chick.

•What McDonald means by 'chicken pieces and parts' for their chicken nugget ingredients (in English, I'm sure this means beaks and bird sphincters.)


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