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Saturday, May 31, 2008


Don't you hate it when you can not remember what the hell you were going to post about? I do.

Anyhow, there are a few things going on. Sort of. Nothing too exciting.

But I do think I have finally resolved the whole problem with going fishing and not actually catching any fish. I have obtained a fishing kite! I found one for sale on Craigslist. So I got it. It was a decent enough deal.

Anyhow the kite keeps the bait skipping at the surface. You can use live or dead bait. Either can work although live bait seems to work better. Or so they say.

Of course I have never fished with a kite before. I have no idea how it is done. But I have a kite now. For all that is worth.

In other news, Fred's eyes are still red and irritated. So I keep putting in the eye medicine three times a day. Fred is getting a little tired of the whole procedure.

Also I think I may be going crazy. Insane in the membrane.

See I am considering options here. And one option is joining the military. No really, joining the military. For real.

It has been brought to my attention that I can still join the US Coast Guard Reserves as an officer. I have a college degree which is apparently all I need.

As far as I understand it, there is not even a real boot camp involved. I would have to go to a thing, but it is more of a classroom setting than a "climb over that wall" setting. And I would get paid for going to the training. And then I would have to work so many "shifts" or whatever they call them. None of that "one weekend per month" thing. I could work my shifts at a time agreed on by myself and the base. Each shift is a scant 4 hours.

Supposedly I could even work a whole years worth of shifts in the first month, and then take the rest of the year off. If it is allowed by whoever has to approve such things.

Now I am sure there is a catch. I just do not know what that catch may be. I might end up being sent to Alaska or something.

Which would not be horrible. I have always wanted to see Alaska. I do not think I want to live in Alaska however. Too cold.

So what would I be doing as an officer in the US Coast Guard? Well when not bossing lower ranking people around I would be doing business administration stuff. Cause that is what my degree is in. Business Administration. Maybe management type stuff? Whatever that is. I do not even know what business administration stuff is and I supposedly studied it for four years! Nobody really knows what it is.

And I do not like to boss others around very much. I am too low key for that. Live and let live.

So there it is. I may be crazy. And I may just join the reserves. I get extra money, a snazzy uniform, a security clearance, and possibly other things as well.

Ill have to get a hair cut.

The deal is off if I have to do all that boot camp type stuff. I can not even remember the last time I had to run.

Ill have to talk to the recruiters and find out what the deal here is. And Ill use my super powers of insight to tease out what the catch is.


Blogger doozie said...

you may be right, I may be crazy, but it just might be a lunatic you're looking for....and so on

well if you become a coast guard person, throw me a lifeline

as for the pirates passes, we're going to pass. thanks for the offer, and may your future endeavors bring you lots of joy

Blogger Fuzz said...

My daughter joined the Air Force and they sent her to Hawaii. It was rough.

Anonymous krok34 said...

The Lazy,

You're frickin in the drug capital of the world, why don't you just sell coke or crack.

You do need to have a new hair style, maybe the Coast Guard is just the thing to modernize your look.

I'm thinking you should focus on sex not work. Work is no fun but sex is fun.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Doozie - I did some research on the net. The deal does not seem too bad on the surface. I just need to find the catch. I know there is one.

Fuzz - Hawaii huh? Terrible. I hear that place sucks. The worst part is they sent her to that tropical island State, AND are providing her with food AND a place to live. I know who got the short end of that stick!

Krok - Sounds like a good enough plan to me. If I am in the CG I can intercept the drugs then sell them myself. Nobody is going to stop a government vessel to look for contraband.

Blogger Jobkiller said...

I hate to admit how often I walk into a room and say "WTF did I come in here for??"
I thought about joining the Air Force Reserves a while back but I was already too old. Probably a good thing. It might not have agreed with my certifiable bipolarness.

Blogger Dusty said...

Lazy...where is your post about Scotty McClellan? I know I am late to read it...but I really wanted nevah write about politics!


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