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Monday, June 02, 2008

Happy June 1st!

So how was your June 1st?

Mine was OK. Nothing too exciting. I went out in the boat. But not just to go out in the boat! OH NO! It was serious business. There was some serious training involved. I had to practice giving commands and general boat handling, and the other people had to practice following the commands I gave and stuff. There was some towing of another boat involved. There was following a compass course. And so on.

I stumbled onto a pretty good scam. Only thing is I do not know which side of the scam I am on. Here is how it works.

I use my boat on a safety patrol. Every 30 minutes I get checked on by the Coast Guard. I have to drive the boat around my assigned area looking for stuff. Like boats in distress. And goobers doing things like towing people on an inner tube, in an idle speed zone, where there is a ton of boat traffic. What the crap? I also plucked garbage out of the water. A 5 gallon bucket, a plastic patio chair, a three liter soda bottle, and some plastic bags.

For doing this, the government pays for my gas.

I offer my boat for a patrol looking for things, and they pay for my gas.

Today I was out 10 hours and burned 10 gallons of fuel. Really. Thats it. I ran off only one tank and filled it up at the end of the day. 10 gallons. So it cost the government 1 gallon per hour. Not a bad deal really. A lot of the time was spent going slow. An hour or so was lunch.

So all parties involved here get something. The government gets a very cheap extra boat for the day. I get paid back for all the gas I used up. Win win!

I made a great call with the boat I ended up with. Other people may have larger faster boats with more engines, but they also burn 80 - 150 gallons in a day. Holy shit! How can anyone afford that?

ANYHOW......what the hell is June 1st??? Some sort of holiday you forgot about possibly? Not exactly.

Just 1 is the first day of the Atlantic hurricane season. It is now no longer "not hurricane season" season in Florida. Here is to a quiet season!!

(drinks shot of 12 year old rum)

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3 Comments:

Blogger Jobkiller said...

Dude, I do not REMEMBER how my June 1 was. But I've spent June 2 doing internet marketing stuff. It was fun for the first 8 hours. Now my brain (what little is left of that) is foggy as hell!
I think that you may be the only person I know that has as much sidebar stuff as I do on my Jobkiller's Club blog. I'm going to need to do something about cleaning mine up--it's gotten way out of control!

00:21  
Blogger Dusty said...

You drink twelve year old scotch? wtf, I thought you were the beer enthusiast.

thats a nice deal for you with the CG...you can while away your time doing what you love and the govt pays for the gas...win-win situation!

I had a dream the other night...that I was on a boat with you..no shit Lazy..remind me to tell you about it. :P

04:17  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Jobkiller - Here in Florida the first day of hurricane season is sort of a big deal.

Dusty - Not scotch. RUM! Scotch is too blue blood for me. Rum is for PIRATES! ARRRRGGGG.

02:19  

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