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Thursday, December 18, 2008

Blocking Progress

I have to do battle with the post office today.

Well not so much "battle". More like "mail something". But this is always an adventure.

For one, there are ALWAYS more counters than there are people to sit at the counters. Supermarkets and stores do the same. Why have 20 check out lines when you know darn good and well that only 5 will ever be open at once?

The stores know this. But they want to get the customers hopes up.

And then we wonder why people get trampled every black Friday weekend at Wal-Mart. It is NOT to get to the pile of cheap shitty $20 DVD players that will break after a month of use. It is to AVOID the long checkout lines.

Must get my shit then get in line before the line is 2 hours long!!!!!

I actually hate going inside the post office. If I have to use the post office there is this thing called a "drive up mailbox". The drive up mailbox is my friend. I feed it Netflix movies all the time.

But the box I need to send off will not fit in the drive up mailbox. I know this because I tried to stuff it in there.

No go.

And I have no idea why the line is so long. I mean no matter what I need, the transaction only takes less than a minute.

ME: I need to send this shit off to 152 Sasquatch Lane, Middle Of Nowhere USA.
THEM: OK, that will be $10
ME: OK! Here you go!

That is it. So WHY THE FUCK do the idiots in line in front of me all take forever to do whatever it is they are doing? If you know you need stamps ASK FOR THEM UP FRONT!! Do not pay for the postage then remember you need stamps. Do it all at once.

Otherwise - use the stamp vending machine.

Also - and I can not stress this one enough - if you hover in your car, waiting for a parking spot to open up - YOU ARE A MAJOR ASSHOLE AND SHOULD BE DEPORTED!! I do not care if you are a citizen. I can decide which country your ass is deported to.

You see, when you wait for that person you see waddling out to their car to get there - you are blocking me.

And for what? So you do not have to walk the extra 20 feet to get to the other parking spot?

WADDLE YOUR ASS THAT EXTRA 20 FEET!!! Exercise is good for you. You need it.

You know who you are. Parking lot stalkers. Holding up 10 people because you do not think you should have to walk.

I park in the back of the lot if I have to. Why can't you?


Blogger M@ said...

Strange. No boat was mentioned in this post? Must be off-stage. Were you mailing boats or boat parts to someone? :)

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

No. I had to mail off organic coconuts and some other assorted stuff.

Blogger Lily Strange said...

I wonder if any of the post offices where the coconuts arrived thought they were bombs? Probably not, but it conjures some amusing images.


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