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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Immune System Of Steel

Having no time or patience for disease, I have banished the whatever it was I had to the center of my white blood cells. It really only had me down for a day.

So I did not need that stupid flu shot after all! HA! Me 1 flu shot 0.

In theory.

In other news, my parents went to New York City. My mom always wanted to see the stupid big ass Christmas tree light up and stuff. So they went.

They went to Radio City Music Hall, Times Square, rode the subway, went to Harlem to see the Apollo Theater, went to the museum of natural history, and so on.

I understand it was quite cold.

They also got to see Belleview Hospital. America's oldest public hospital - opened when George Washington was a wee lad only 4 years of age.

Apparently my mom slipped. The curbs in New York are higher than one would expect them to be it seems. Any how she had a slight tumble and had to take a ride with the EMTs to the hospital.

Now unknown to them - Belleview is the crazy people hospital. It is also the hospital the cops take people that are arrested to if they need to go to a hospital before they go to jail.

The EMTs sort of warned them. On the way they asked my dad if they had ever been to Belleview. Last time my dad was in New York City he was something like 4 or 5 years old so of course they had not. So the EMTs said "it was the hospital that people who cause problems or have issues" are taken to.

So they got to see a lot of typical New Yorkers. People yelling at sandwiches. Transvestites shackled to benches. Vagrants. Drunks.

And then in the middle of all this are my parents.

The hospital staff was really nice though.

Mom turned out to be OK. She looks like she was mugged on the subway, but she is OK.

She got a tetnus shot. The doctor said you need one if you get injured somewhere dirty. Apparently the streets of New York City count as someplace dirty.

And of course, there was the obligitory crazy person on the street accusing her of falling on purpose, as part of a master plot to sue the city. You deserve an academy award! You deserve an academy award!

A grizzled old New York City cop, apparently with a typical old grizzled New York City cop accent, said to the crazy street person "Hey pal, why don't you beat it before I beat you" - while guestering to his night stick.

The crazy street person, having at least some sanity left, got the message. But on the way down the street felt the need to tell everyone about the lady who faked the fall, as part of a plot to sue the universe.

Nobody paid any attention. Nobody cared.

There was also the incident on the bus. My parents did not get up fast enough so they missed their stop. A chinese lady asked them if they missed their stop and when they said "yea, but thats OK" she felt the need to yell at the bus driver. From the back of the bus.

"HEY DRIVER! Some people here wanted to get off! Stop the bus and open the back door!!"

Bus driver (over the bus intercom) "Keeps your pants on lady! Ill stop when I stop! Until then remain where you are and wait for the doors to open."

"Maybe you did not hear me! I said STOP THE BUS NOW and let these people off!!"

"Maybe you did not hear me, I said Ill stop when I feel like stopping! Now quiet down, Im driving here!". Still on the intercom by the way.

Everyone else on the bus was pretending like they could not hear anything going on.

Ah yes - the big city. A real big city. Not a fake city like Miami is. I would probably have a lot of fun there.

2 Comments:

Blogger Fuzz said...

Big Cities can be interesting, but you have to remember the way back out.

17:15  
Blogger Lily Strange said...

Unless there is a really heinous potentially deadly even to normally healthy people strain of the flu going around, I do not get the flu shot. All this annoying medical training has taught me one thing: the new anti-viral medications are very safe and very effective. The one caveat is that you have to take them as soon as you realize you're really sick. Not just the coughing-stuffy head-sore throat-minor upper chest congestion kind of sick. The kind where you have a cough that feels like you're going to hack up one of your lungs, which will probably feel like you inhaled water. Also there is usually fever and muscle ache with the flu. There isn't a stuffy nose. There might be a sore throat, but it's usually from coughing. At any rate, get ye to the doctor and ask for an antiviral. It won't destroy the viruses that are already in your system but will stop them from replicating so you will get well faster. Rather expensive stuff but very effective. One of the few medications to come along where I've said "this stuff really rules!"

00:38  

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