Things I Will NOT Do

Twitter. Or Tweet. Or whatever the hell the act of posting a minute by minute account of your entire day on Twitter is called.

I will not do it.

It really amazes me what people will post on that site. They will even use their real photo! A really bad idea.

Really. If you are a hot chick, this is a BAD idea. You are aware there are these things called "stalkers" out there right? And if you say "I am at the bar on 5th and Main" guess what a stalker can do?

Plus, my life is really not that interesting. Here would be a typical Twitter day for me.

I am awake.
I am taking my morning dump
I am taking a shower
I am driving to work.
I am at work
I am on break at work
I am leaving work
I am home
I am taking my after work dump

Wow! A really exciting day there huh? I am sure millions of people worldwide care.

But aside from that, I just do not care to post constant updates. I fail to see the point. Now maybe I am missing the point - this is possible. Maybe you think Twitter is great. If so then it is great - for you.

But it is not for me.

What cracks me up the most are the obvious attempts by some to use Twitter to make themselves seem cool, hip, or "in touch". Please - stop this attempt. Nobody is buying it. You look like a clown. So if you are some old fuddy-duddy Congress Critter, just stop it. Tell the staffer that convinced you this was a good idea to come up with another idea. You are not appearing any more "in touch" or "hip" or "cool".

But there is at least one good use for Twitter. I know this girl who has stalker problems. I suggested to her that she sign up for Twitter, and somehow let the stalker(s) know this. Then when she wants to go to club A she can Twitter that she is going to bar X somewhere far away from club A.

Brilliant huh? I thought so!

Cat Poem Monday

This is Skipper.
He is not at the vet.
But he is still pissed off,
Because he is stuck in a net!


UPDATE - Skipper did escape from the net. He was only stuck in it for a little bit.

Projects

Today will be a productive day.

I think. The boat needs some work done to it. And there is no time like the present! This is mainly because the new job situation is probably going to result in a screwy and unpredictable schedule. For now anyway. So while I have the time I should use it to get some shit done!

First up is resolving the fuel alarm. Last time I was out the port tank was running low, so I opened the valve for the starboard fuel tank. Then a couple of minutes later I get an alarm. A fuel alarm. Attached to the engine is a water separating fuel filter. This is the source of said alarm. There is a float switch in the filter, and when water gets in it the float switch trips sounding the alarm. I was able to keep doing my thing, but I do need to figure out what the hell is going on. I have the new filter. I am hoping that the problem is NOT phase separation! That would be bad. But I think the gas I have in the boat is not that E-10 shit, so I should be OK. Remove the fuel filter on the engine, dump the contents into a jar for a visual inspection, hope there is not signs of ethanol phase separation going on, put the new filter on, then dump the contents of the external fuel filter into a jar, visually inspect it, hope there is no signs of phase separation going on, then haul the boat off to ye ole filling station to top off the tanks. And while I am at it add the usual fuel treatments I use.

Keeping the tanks full is the best way to prevent water in the fuel. I know this - but I got lazy.

And then there is problem 2. This is my cool custom made cooler rack that is installed in the splash well.


Pretty nifty huh? Notice how it holds the cooler. I like this set up because the cooler is never in the way.

Well this is what the cooler rack looks like now.

Notice the slight difference. What happened was a little bit of shitty engineering. The previous owner designed and built the cooler rack. That was pure genius. The splash well is wasted space, so it was put to excellent use. The cooler lives back there, leaving the deck 100% free and clear.

But as cool as the idea was, and as good as the design was - the guy used screws to hold it in place. This was not the best idea in the world. A cooler, loaded with ice and beer and whatever else is in it, is heavy. The boat rides well but it still pounds a little bit in waves. Well the last time I was out I hit some wake and landed a bit hard. The screws pulled out of the fiberglass and the cooler rack was down. Nothing was really damaged, but it needs to be fixed anyway.

My solution is going to be BOLTS! Not screws. I will use stainless steel bolts, large washers, and self locking nuts. I might even put in a backing plate and washers - but I do not think the backing plate will be needed.

What the washers and/or backing plate will do is distribute the force exerted by the weight of the cooler over a larger area of fiberglass. The end result will be much stronger than screws.

In addition, the tarp over the boat got ripped up in a rain storm a few weeks ago. It needs to be replaced too. I have the tarp, I just need to get it strung up.

Then the project will be over, and the boat will be ready for use again.

Work Saga

The new line of work is going OK. I suppose.

I got some special advanced secret training today, so now I have an idea of what some of my duties may include.

Or not. Nothing is yet set in stone. But it seems to me that if I was selected for some training that not everyone got, then that must mean something.

It still remains to be seen what my duty hours will be. Will I get the night shift and resume my zombie hours? Will I ever see the sun again? Will I show up to work as the day is ending for everyone else, and get home when the day is just starting for everyone else?

Well that may not be so horrible. Some people can handle the night shift, some can't. Truth be known I am one of those who CAN sleep all day and do other stuff all night.

But the flip side of this coin is that I have had night shifts before. I love the working hours - but you really do turn into a zombie. Even on your days off you keep zombie hours. You find it difficult to do seemingly simple things, like go to the bank. The darn bank closes before you wake up and opens up after you are asleep. If you need to buy something, good luck. You find that the stores close around the time you really want to roll out. 9 PM suddenly seems "early". 8 AM is "late".

Your life really is turned upside down. You become a creature of the night - seeking the darkness and shunning the sunlight. You never get to see your day shift friends, because they are all saying "it is late and I am tired" when you are just waking up!

And do not even get me started on weekends! You do not have any. Lets say you work on Saturday and get Sunday off. OK great! Sunday off huh? Well not exactly. See you show up to work at say 10 PM SATURDAY. Then you are let off at 8 AM or 10 AM SUNDAY - assuming a 10 or 12 hour shift. If you are working 8 hours then you get off at 6 AM.

But still - it really does not matter what your hours are. The point is you get out Sunday MORNING. Good luck getting anything done. You will go home, eat "dinner" - maybe have an after work beer (at 9 AM) then crash. You wake up on your "day off" sometime later that afternoon. After the day is over.

And lets say you work Monday - Friday. OK great. You show up Friday night, get off Saturday morning. Then you sleep all day Saturday (pissed that day away) - which of course means you are awake all night. Not such a bad thing really - there are lots of things to do Saturday night. But then you sleep all day Sunday and are up all night again - so that Monday you sleep all day to work all night.

And so on. The best case in this situation is that you work Sunday and have Saturday and Friday off. Then you get out of work Friday morning and force yourself to stay awake. Friday evening you are tired so you sleep. Then you can get up at a reasonable time Saturday for some sun time. I would be able to do things like use the boat and/or Waverunner. Or just hang out with day shift people. Have a beer at a reasonable hour of the day where people do not look at you like you are mad because you want to drink at 8 AM. HEY! I was working all freaking night! It is 8 AM to you but it is 8 PM to me! So lay off and give me a damn beer OK!?!?!? What the hell do you mean the bar is closed?

You daytime people NEED people like me. People like me keep the world functioning while you sleep. We are the guardians of the night, watching over the planet while all the normal people slumber. And then how do you pay us back? By mowing your lawn at 11 AM.

But the chance still remains of a day shift. The stuff I learned today happens over a transitional period. It starts during the night shift, but then gets passed off to the day shift. So maybe I will get to be "normal" and arrive to work in the morning.

This also presents interesting problems. For one, I become a rat stuck in the great race to nowhere. I so love morning hush hour traffic! Nothing says "what a pleasant morning this is" like being stuck in horrible traffic with tens of thousands of other angry people. But I believe the morning shift would actually require me to be on the clock at about the same time morning rush hour starts to build. I would actually leave the house BEFORE things stacked up, which should put me in clear traffic all the way to work. This is good.

But am I really a day shift person? Sure, I can adapt. Anyone can adapt to anything if they have to. It is part of the whole evolution thing. The world throws a problem at you - you either adapt or die. So yea, I could survive on a day shift. It would actually allow me to be far more normal. My days off would truly be "days off". I would still get up in the morning, leaving me all day to get something done.

But all this is moot really. I will get whatever I get. I can not do anything about it one way or the other.

Adapt or die.

Blog Update

It seems that I have gone for some time without a blog update! This is not good.

But the truth is not a whole lot is going on. I have no funny new job stories yet. And really, even if I did I would probably not post them out of concern of blowing my secret identity. I have read many blogs where the author disclosed their real identity, and it usually ends up bad. Some crazy shit happens. People have been shit canned over a blog. People have made the newspaper over a blog. And so on.

One has to be careful. Google is your friend, but it can also be your enemy.

Summer must be over. I can tell this not so much by the weather, but by the Samuel Adams seasonal beer selection. Oktoberfest beer is out. If you go to a bar with Sam Adams seasonal beer on tap, it will be Oktoberfest. Not that this is bad - but for my taste the Sam Adams Oktoberfest beer is not my style. Too malty.

In other news, I picked up a 12 pack of Shipyard sampler. It came with three Summer Ales, three Pale Ales, three India Pale Ales, and three Export Ales. The pale ale seems to be my favorite so far.

But I like the Sierra Nevada selections better than Shipyard.

Last time I went out in the boat it was somewhat exciting. First I had a fuel alarm go off. Attached to the engine is a special fuel filter that catches water that may be in the tank. Apparently there is water in this filter, which caused the alarm to go off. So now I need a new fuel filter. I probably also should put on another filter I bought some time ago but never got around to installing. A Racor water separating filter. It has a clear bottom that will allow me to see what kind of crud might be in the fuel tank.

But that is not all. In the splash well there is a nifty custom made platform that holds my cooler. Apparently the guy who made it just screwed it in place. Well it collapsed on me. The screws pulled right out of the fiberglass. Now I think that the proper way to install the thing is to through bolt it using a backing plate and washers and shit. So I will look into doing just that. I have a feeling it will be a pain in the ass however. I know that I have to pull the batteries. And then depending on where the bolts will be at, the battery cables, battery selector switch, and/or fuel lines MIGHT get in the way. This would suck.

Oh yea, the deep cycle battery is also on its way out. Great huh?

But such things should be expected. I knew that the battery would not last forever. It is about time to replace it anyway. It is at least three years old. The fuel filter is supposed to be replaced yearly, I got two years out of the one I have now.

So it is a good thing work is going to ramp up. I need more of it. A higher wage too. I am hoping that internal opportunities will open up at the new job. But we shall see what happens. Ill keep my tentacles out there and go with the highest bidder for my labor. Nothing personal against any single employer - but capitalism is capitalism! It is all about business. If I can make a buck an hour more somewhere else, I will go somewhere else. I need the money. And I know I am not alone here.

But as we all know, jobs are growing on trees right now. So I am sure other offers will just pour in. Note the sarcasm there.

Week Outlook!

I secretly always wanted to be a weather forecaster. I still do really. It seems like a pretty sweet job. You just guess about what is going on and what will happen as a result. And if you are wrong? No big deal! Hey - I said 20% chance of rain! So it rained on your day at the park - tough luck being in that 20%!

And if I say "the hurricane will hit Tampa Bay" and it actually hits Port Charlotte, IT WOBBLED!!! Not my fault there! You knew you were in the cone, should have taken proper action!

So pretty much you get paid and it does not matter if you are right or wrong. As long as you say something that properly covers your ass.

Anyhow the outlook for this week seems to be OK. I am still shaking this slight cold I managed to pick up on Thursday / Friday. Or maybe Wednesday? Who knows. I started to feel crappy Thursday, Friday I was worse, Saturday I felt a little better, Sunday was OK except for a spell in the early afternoon when I almost blacked out. I am better now.

In addition, there are new jobs afoot. Training has already started. In a couple of days I will be fully trained to do something. Then I do it. Pretty simple stuff really. They tell me to do something, I do it, I report back when it is done or why it was not possible to get it done given the resources I had at my disposal (along with what additional resources / time I think I need to get the thing done).

Everything should be OK. In theory.

New Policies

I start a new job sometime. Exactly when is a mystery.

You see, I actually read stuff given to me. And even though I do not know why - I have a fair amount of common sense.

I asked for - and was given - a handbook of general policies. Policies are good to know - so you do not get in needless trouble.

What was of the most interest to me was the internet policies. This place has a fairly uniform and not at all uncommon internet policy. No using company computers for unauthorized stuff and so on. Not a big deal.

But this is not all. It is also common for companies to restrict personal computer use while off duty. Namely - blogging. They do not care if someone has a blog, you just can not say that the company sucks on it. They also frown on opinions that an employee has that are contrary to company policy or company operations.

People HAVE been fired for personal blogs.

This is why it is mostly a good idea to remain anonymous online. And I do this. I refrain from posting photos of myself here, and I will not mention any employer.

I think this is a good idea. Stay anonymous, and nobody can pin anything on me. No proof means I did not do it.

And it is also the fair thing to do - for everyone involved.

Today

Today is the day. I think everyone knows what I mean here.

But today is a strange day. It is across between Memorial Day and a regular work day. Sure there are ceremonies and memorials that take place, but at the same time it is business as usual.

I find this sort of strange.

At the very least, I would like to see the nation come to a halt for a minute or two at the times the planes crashed. Stop the cash registers, stop the sales pitch, and so on. Only for a couple of minutes. I would also like to see radio stations announce the times, so that drivers can stop and get out of their cars. Inside your car you are inside a private world - disconnected from all other humans. Outside of your car you are part of a group of people again. Much like the nation was 8 years ago today. All for one, one for all.

But I do not know if this will ever happen.

Public Service Announcement

The last long weekend of the summer is here.

Well not for me. Technically I still have more summer left. The water in the bay does not start to cool down till October. For me, the "end" of summer is actually Columbus Day weekend. And the super massive boat party that takes place.

But that is not important.

What IS important is that AAA is once again offering its popular "Tow To Go" program. It is very simple.

Should you get stewed, you can call AAA and they will arrange for a tow truck to come to your aid. You get towed home for free, and you also get a free ride home.

And best of all - you do not go to jail!

Works out great huh?

As of now, this program is available in Florida, and a good deal of the Southeast including Nashville and Atlanta. But it may be going on in your area too.

You do not need to be a AAA member to use this free service. All you need to be is drunk.

The service is being offered NOW through Monday. So if you are boozing and live in an area served by this or a similar program - no need to be cruising!

Just call 1-800-AAA-HELP. Then using your best drunken slur, try to tell the nice person on the phone exactly where you are. If you need to, ask the bartender for help - chances are your bartender knows where he/she is. Then the tow truck comes, and you wake up at your home wearing shoes but not any pants.

Try to figure that one out! You had to remove your shoes to get your pants off right? So why then put the shoes back on? Did you decide to take a drunken walk in the buff? Did you maybe have a good time that you can not remember? Who knows. It shall always remain a mystery.

So remember, call 1-800-AAA-HELP. It beats calling the bail bondsman.

Thursday Already?

WOW! A whole lot of days passed with no posts!

I blame Meowcenaries. It is a good game. I passed the first level, and I am working on the desert level now. The Super Kittanks are tough.

Other than that - there is not really much going on. There is a tropical storm out there somewhere, but it will not effect things here. In fact it is very weak and is not projected to really do anything. Conditions are not at all favorable for the storm. By this evening it may even be downgraded to a depression. The experts have it dissipated by Sunday - they say it will not even be a rain maker after that.

So much for Tropical Storm Erika. So far the sexiest name of any storm I can remember, but it will be short lived.

A three day weekend is approaching! I like these. Sort of. The water ways will be clogged. Lots of people seem to think that summer is over. I never understood this. THIS IS SOUTH FLORIDA! Summer never really ends - it just gets not as hot. Even in December the beating weather is usually decent. Really.

But still, there will be a lot of traffic. So if I want to go out Ill have to put the boat in the water in advance, and leave it tied up at the boat club. This way I avoid the public ramp craziness.

Or just not go out this weekend, and wait for next weekend. The water will still be warm - only there will be less people out.