What Is Larger Than The Moon?

It seems I promised Scarlet a link. Well I lied. I was going to post a link, and then I found this.

This is even better than a link! Had I just posted a link, you would have to click it and then a window would pop up and you would have to download some MP3 file and then it would play. But this way the link is embedded in the post! Much better.

The You tube thing was inspired by something about the empiricist camp VS the rationalist camp. Rene Descartes was mentioned, and so of course I instantly thought of the Monty Python Drunk Philosopher Song. Rene Descartes was a drunken fart "I drink; therefore I am".

This is how my brain works. I can take anything and reduce it to a silly song and/or some other kind of tom foolery.

Like this little snippet of tom foolery. Did I ever mention I hate that "who wants to be a millionaire" show? Well I just mentioned it if I forgot to do so before. I can not stand idiots. What makes it even worse is when you have to hear some idiot's thought process. You know that they are a friggin moron. You know they do not know their ass from a hole in the ground. Yet, you are forced to listen to them reason shit out and no matter how much you yell at the TV it does no good. They just keep digging that hole.
Yes, elephants are larger than the moon. Seriously I hope this moron left the show with nothing. But she probably made it to the $250,000 question and left with at least that much. America likes idiots. Some people, mostly my mom, keeps saying "but don't you feel sorry for them?".

HELL NO. No way. If you are an idiot and you are dumb enough to think you are smart and get on a TV quiz show and you think elephants are larger than the moon - you deserve whatever you get. As long as that is not $250,000. You deserve pain and humiliation. You deserve years of ridicule. You deserve to be forced to sit through 2nd grade again, because clearly you were smoking pot the first time around.

You know who I feel sorry for? ME! Thats who. Am I on that show? Hell no. The "fastest thumb" questions are usually something retarded, like "which order did celebrities enter the Academy Awards Show?" or something stupid and unimportant.

I SHIT ON THE ACADEMY AWARDS. There. I said it. I shit on the Academy Awards. I do not care who wins, or how many times someone wins. Not in the slightest.

But if I ever did get on a quiz show, they would ask me some sports / celebrity question that I would not know the answer to. The ironic thing is that the average idiot would know these things.

This is why America is doomed - people know who is currently married to who, but nobody knows how many tentacles a squid has (10 by the way). But if you ask me, a squid is far more important than any movie star. I would much rather see a live giant squid than spend a day with ANY celebrity. And you know why? Because the giant squid will not say something stupid that pisses me off. Like "yes I care about the starving people in Africa" while eating a $5,000 dinner flown in from London or "we should all do our part to stop using so much" while making fun of people who fly commercial because that is for poor people who are not important. Or better yet, sporting around in yachts that get 10 gallons per mile. Giant squids would never do any of those things.

And what would I do if I won a million bucks on one of these shows? Probably something stupid. Like getting a larger boat. Something with a cuddy cabin, diesel engines, a generator, and what the hell AC for the cabin. It would have a decent size fresh water tank for showering and a water heater because cold showers suck and so on. And with diesel at the marina approaching $4 a gallon - I would need that million bucks.

Exciting Day. Not Really.

What an exciting day this was!

First, there was that stupid test I was supposed to take. I get up early and stuff, and head off into the wonderful Miami traffic.

I really hate this place. People are so stupid, it amazes me they can remember to breathe. 60% of the drivers I looked at were yapping away on their cell phone, totally ignorant of anything outside their car. So this slows traffic.

And then when I got on the so called express way, it was backed up to hell. There is road construction going on. And by "construction" I mean there is some signs of work being done (crazy lane markings, graded but unpaved roads, concrete barriers, etc). There are also a whole lot of construction machines. But no workers. The equipment just sits there. So this slows everything down.

I know about this. So I left with enough time to account for the stupidity.

But I did not account for ALL the stupidity. The north south expressway is where the "construction" is going on. So I kind of expected that to be all screwed up.

The east west expressway should have opened up a bit after the first exit. It usually does. But as it turned out, some idiot had an accident and rolled a Chevy Blazer. The driver was probably yapping on the cell phone at the time. Anyway, the accident was over. All vehicles involved were well to the side of the road. All the emergency vehicles were gone, except for one police car and a few tow trucks. The rolled Blazer was on the flatbed.

And EVERY ASSHOLE ON THE ROAD had to slow down to look. OHHH! Look at the smashed up cars! Hey kids! Grab your cameras! Lets take some photos!

And so the traffic was backed up for much longer than it needed to be. Up to the point of the accident I was going maybe 5 mph. After I passed the exact point where the accident happened I was able to go 80 mph. Just like that. So most of that eastbound slowdown was 100% not necessary.

As a result, I arrived at the testing location at 9:01 AM. Yes 9:01. According to my phone.

The doors to the testing location closed at 9:00 AM. 1 fucking minute. Had the assholes NOT felt the need to stop and look at the accident, I would have made it where I needed to be with plenty of time to register and get seated and stuff.

I hope EVERYONE who was responsible for the "slow down to look" thing roll their vehicle tomorrow. Really. I do. Screw them. The world will be better off with that many fewer idiots polluting the gene pool. And it will mean that much less traffic, because thousands of cars will not be on the road Friday. They can all stay home Friday and look at a crunched up car all damn day.

Now it is a law in Florida to slow down OR move over one lane if there are vehicles stopped on the side of the road. Fair enough. But people were stopping to look. Traffic in the two lanes to the right could have moved at at least 30 mph - well within the slow down or move over law. Traffic in the left two lanes could have continued at speed - also within the law. But people were stopping to look. I hate that shit.

This is common in Miami. This city has to have one of the lowest collective IQs in the world. The Special Olympics should be held here every year, so that people do not have to travel very far to participate.

But not all was lost today. I was able to finish the "cargo carrier to bike rack" project. I bought the bike rack part last year. It has been sitting around for at least a year. Well I finally bought the bolts, nuts, and washers to attach the thing to the carrier. Ill have to remember to take a picture of the thing. One day.

And about the letter from yesterday's post? I called someone. They are re-auditing things. I think that the error will be resolved. No harm no foul. Life goes on. Computerized systems are supposed to make life easier. And they do - most of the time. Just not all the time. This is a case where the humans just have to correct the computer. And then punish it with "the magnet".

And seriously, if you are going to come to Miami for any reason consider your options. There are beaches all over the place you know. Want to go on a cruise? Use the airport shuttle bus thing. And if you want to spend a few days in the city AFTER the cruise? Consider your options. Try to stay someplace where you will NOT need to rent a darn car - unless you want to spend 40% of your vacation time stuck in that rental car. Rent a nice one! Do not cheap out! Trust me - get the Lincoln Town Car.

If you are going to the Keys - you may be tempted to fly into Miami or Ft. Lauderdale, rent a car, and drive to the keys. Good idea in theory - except you have to drive in Miami. Trust me, take the American Eagle connection to Key West. Once you are there you will not need a car.