Lazy Iguana Pub Crawl Story.

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It is the summer of 1996. I am 22, and sporting around in a black Dodge Daytona 5 speed. Being the responsible person I am, I lost my drivers license. This was before the era of "wear your photo ID around your neck" we live in now, so I really did not need the stupid thing. Except for getting served in bars. I needed it for that. And I would also have needed it if I got pulled over. But Dodge Daytonas, even with the 5 speed manual trannie, were not fast cars - so the cops mostly left me alone.

Now getting your drivers license replaced in Dade County is a major pain in the ass. The lines are long, and the service is slow. It can be an all day ordeal. But, there is an option. You can sit in a line all day, or drive to The Keys and use the DMV there. In the Keys, there are no lines. If there are three people in line when you get there, the place is extra super busy. Mostly it is walk up service.

So I loaded myself into the Daytona, with the cash needed to get the replacement license and my brand new Master Card that I had just obtained to buy gas and school books and pay school fees and such. You know, the whole "be responsible and build credit with this card, do not use it for stupid crap" thing. My friend from the high school days also came along, for the ride.

The drive to the Keys DMV took about an hour or so. Not too bad. I walked in and out. No line. No hassle. No anything really. So all there was left to do was drive home.

Did I mention it was summer? Well it was. And it was hot. And the car was black. Yea, the AC worked, but still. And to get to the DMV I had to pass the world famous Holiday Isle TIKI BAR, home of the RumRunner. So I decided to test out the new license. I had some drinks, and hung out under the tiki hut for a bit. But I had no cash! NO PROBLEM! Mr. Master Card to the rescue!

After a few rumrunners, I continued home. But then I had to wizz. And I was thirsty again. So I stopped somewhere in Key Largo. Once again, I had to use the Master Card. Then I decided to not use US1 to get back to the mainland, I used Card Sound Road. Of course, I had to stop at this legendary place called "Alabama Jack's". It is owned by a dude named Jack from Alabama.

In Florida City, I hit another place called The Mutineer. Then I continued on my way home. It seems that I stopped at two other places, a Bennigan's and someplace I forgot about. Then I made it home.

I think I forgot to mention one thing. I activated that credit card minutes before I left the house that day. The Master Card was just as new as my license.

The next day, I get a phone call. It is Master Card! They want to ask about some "strange activity" on my card. The nice lady asked if I used my card in The Keys, at two bars. I said "Yea, I was there". Then she asked if I used it at Alabama Jack's. Why yes I did! Then she asked about The Mutineer in Floirda City. I kind of remembered being there, but I did not remember what I ordered. Apparently, Master Card knew. Cool! So thats what I drank at that place!

Then she asked about some rather large tabs at two other places I did not remember being in. But I still had the card, so I said "I do not remember being at those two places, but they are on the way home from The Keys, so I must have been there".

To this day, no credit card represenitive has EVER called me about "strange use" involving bars. I use my Visa check card at Titanic so often, that the bar has the number on file. If someone stole my check card and used it at The Titanic, I would never be able to dispute the charge. Visa would say "Yea right. Your ass is there at least once a week! What kind of a scam are you trying to pull here?!?"

So there it is. My most memorable bar hop story. I would like to thank the nice people at Master Card for filling in all the holes in my memory.