One Metal Pick, A Sink Full Of Blood, And Seven Franklins

What do all the items listed in the title have in common? Can't figure it out? Ill give you a photo hint!

Today was the "deep cleaning" day. It seems that a bunch of plaque causing bacteria decided to move in under my gums. So - they had to be evicted.

This is how the deep cleaning works. It is a lot like the regular cleaning - only on areas BELOW the gum line. So yes, there will be blood. But no photos of it. It is enough to say there were blood clots, little chunks of gum, and probably a whole lot of bacteria.

The tools are the same. There is the ultrasonic water pick thing. The pick part vibrates around really fast and at the same time it shoots a stream of water out. I think the water pulses really fast too. Anyway, between the ultrasonic vibrating and the high pressure stream of water plaque is blasted away. And when directed under the gum line plaque and plaque causing bacteria is blasted away - along with YOUR BLOOD. Well in this case my blood.

Then there is the METAL PICK! They stick the pick below the gum line and scrape away. All sorts of gunk is pulled out. Most of it looks like my blood, and my blood clots. But under a microscope there might be some bacteria in there.

The plan was to do half of the teeth today, and the other half at some other time. HA! YEA RIGHT! What a scam that is. TWO appointments? And why is this? So I pay twice? It seems the dentist thinks my last name is "Gates" or "Hilton".

So I suggested to the person about to do the scraping that maybe everything could be done in one shot. She responded that she might not have enough time to do everything in one shot, and that on top of that there is the whole "pain" issue.

So then the process started. Some sort of HORRIBLE TASTING numbing gel was applied to my gumline. No injection! I hate injections. Scraping and spitting out blood does not bug me, but shots do. So no shots! So far, so good!

The upper right set of teeth were first. The pressure cleaner was applied, followed by scraping with the metal hook of doom and peril, then back to the pressure washer. Then the lower right set of teeth were done. Same deal. Pressure cleaner, scraping hook of death, then more pressure washing. Then the spitting out a bunch of blood clots thing.

In theory, this was it. But because I had no reaction to the "pain" at all the cleaner decided to continue. In reality, the pain was not very painful. I am a dude, and therefore I have inflicted FAR MORE pain to myself doing stupid things. This is why men do not live as long as women. Men do stupid things, and women drive them CRAZY. So we get it on both end. We see a cliff and think "it would be so cool to jump a bicycle off this thing!" And then some chick says "you better NOT jump a bike off that stupid cliff! You promised to go shoe shopping with me!"

So nine times out of ten, the dude attempts the cliff jump.

Anyway, the cleaner then moved on to the rest of the teeth. There was more numbing gel (probably not needed, but what the hell. I had already paid for it), more pressure cleaning, and more hook scraping. Yippie!

So now all my teeth are as clean as they are going to get. Any gum disease that was starting to happen should be scraped the hell out of my head, and flushed down the little white sink.

And now for the seven franklins part! It only cost me $700. CRAP!!! That is a whole LOT of beer!! Three days before my cruise and I had to fork over SEVEN bills?!?!? This is MORE than I was planning on spending on the boat! Now I have to re-calculate my cruise budget. There may be far less video poker going on.

Holy crap! $700! Next open enrollment I need to sign up for a dental plan. ANY plan. The Republican "you pay for it yourself" plan I am on now sucks ass. It is a great plan IF you are rich and can afford to just spend a grand getting your teeth cleaned, but it sucks if you are not.