Useless Item Everyone Needs

Not too long ago, I got a new phone. You know, one that plays MP3 files and has a camera. My old phone could only place calls. How 20th century!

Of course I had to do what everyone else does when they get their first camera phone. Figure out a use for the camera.

For a digital camera, the phone cam is pretty crappy. Actually it is VERY crappy. No flash. Poor resolution. And so forth.

But still, it is sort of cool. I mean, say you are at a bar hitting on chicks (or dudes, depending on what you are into). You collect 4 or 5 phone numbers. But the next day, you can not remember who the hot redhead with the green eyes is. Was it Lisa? Jenna? Janice?

In the past you just had to pick a bar napkin and call the number on it.

But now you can take a photo, store it on your phone, then add a phone number to it! So when (and if for that matter) someone calls you know if you should answer the phone, or let voice mail handle it. Many phone bar hookup tragedies will be avoided. Sort of anyway.

And today I discovered another use for the camera phone! Office gloating! Say you just got a cool new corner office with not one, but TWO windows! You can use your phone to take a photo of your new digs then send it to that jerk Jenkins in Accounting! No need to send office e-mail, which can be traced and stuff!

Or lets say you get the day off so you can have a three day weekend, only to return to work for two days before you are out of the office for another FIVE DAYS on a cruise or something! Clearly, there are endless ways one can gloat over this! So I snapped this photo and sent it to a co-worker who had to work on Saturday because of a shift swap.

This is me (on the right with the Sanibel Island shark hat I bought a few years ago on the island because I rented a vert and needed a hat so I could cruise in the vert with the top down and look cool) and one of my co-workers who did not have to work today because he traded a weekday off in exchange for a Saturday off. A trained eye can notice a few things in the picture.

1. It is hard as HELL to see the phone screen with shades on under full sun.
2. You can tell EXACTLY where I was when the photo was snapped by me. The Miami Marine Stadium is in the background - so I MUST have been anchored in the Virginia Key Lagoon!
3. The bay was like a giant sheet of glass. Flat calm. It was a great day to be out in the boat and not at work but still getting paid for the day because you have annual leave in the time bank.

But this was not the actual photo I was able to send. This picture just came out better than the one I had to send. For the picture above I had the flip phone cover closed, so it was easy to see the screen and snap the photo. Notice how the people are centered and the horizon is ALMOST level. But my phone would not let me send this one so I had to take a second photo that came out crappy, but still got the point across.

Notice how the people are NOT centered, the horizon is NOT level, and the photo is darker. I have no idea why it is darker, it was taken under the same light! But whatever. The point was the message, not the photo.

Anyway, the photos were taken while waiting for my co-worker's wife and daughter to show up. They did not wake up early enough to meet at the Crandon Park Marina boat ramp, so we had to meet them later. At Bayside. But the boat ramp was not very busy and I was able to get the boat launched by myself and stuff. No problem.

By the way, Sunday's On The Bar is GONE. Kaputski! No more! The two hurricanes last year did so much damage that the County just tore the place down. It is now a vacant lot.

Anyhow, eventually the other people showed up - with a little 2 month old puppy. From that point on the day was squandered cruising around North Biscayne Bay. Government Cut was closed because there was more than one cruise ship there. Two Carnival ships (I could not get close enough to read the names) and Royal Caribbean's Navigator Of The Seas. Compared to the Navigator Of The Seas, the Carnival ships looked small. Navigator is just plain HUGE! I will book that ship for the next cruise.

Anyhow, the boat ended up at a nice little island located near the 79th street causeway. These islands were built by Dade County D.E.R.M.(I think anyway)and are public property (administered by DERM and Parks Department). I took the stainless steel BBQ grill and had a little cookout on the water. It was really nice.

The grill worked great. I should use the thing more often.