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Sunday, November 19, 2006

Biggest Asshole on CNN

Seeing as how it is Sunday and all, I do not want to post anything too heavy.

Yesterday, Actionbell commented that Nancy Grace is the worst person on CNN. I disagree.

I think the WORST person on CNN is Rick Sanchez. Hands down. There is no competition. To find anyone in Rick's class you have to change channels to Fox.

Sanchez is from Miami. He got his first on air job in this market. And what do we remember him best for?

1. Crime check with Rick Sanchez. He would ride around in the worst areas of Miami in a Channel 7 van and listen to a police scanner for the latest crime. Then he would go and report it. Often there was still blood on the ground. Of course being a fresh crime scene, the cops never had anything to report. The van was full of hundreds of thousands of dollars of stuff, and enough hair gel for the entire band "A Flock Of Seagulls". Too bad he was never robbed. It would have been fun to see Channel 4 or 10 report from that crime scene.


2. Iraq War Part I. He had this thing called "War Map with Rick Sanchez". It was a giant 3-d map of Iraq and Rick would squat over it and release his own gas attack. It was horrible. He would move little plastic tanks, planes, and army dudes around like he was some kind of General or something. Too bad he never stepped on a plastic land mine.

3. Hurricane Andrew. Reporting the instant the winds died down from his trusty Channel 7 van he is best known for lamenting "where is the National Guard!??!". Now keep in mind the guard was on its way, from bases out of the storm area. And when the Guard did get here, he reported that the Guard were not carrying live ammo - setting up the stage for armed gangs to confront the Guard. Once you know the machine guns are not loaded they are not so scary to looters. Needless to say, after this report some Guard troops WERE issued live ammo, and they went looking for Rick. But Rick had already fled to Broward County where the electricity was working.
4. Running over someone and getting away with it. Rick was reporting from the then Joe Robbie Stadium for a Dolphins game. A stench of cow manure hovered over the performance of the Dolphins, so Rick attempted to rid himself of the stink by getting drunk. On the way home he ran over someone. He fled the scene, which was supposedly very close to his home. The guy he his was also supposed to be drunk. Anyway, the story goes that he left the scene on foot. When the cops got to him he had poured booze all over himself and claimed to be drinking to "calm his nerves" or something. Anyway, he was never jailed. It seems he had money and connections and the dead guy did not.

5. The awful "Rick Sanchez Show" that aired on the independent Channel 6 for a few months after he got fired from MSNBC and crawled back to Miami. His old news channel did not want to hire him back. His show tried to be like the equally horrible classic "Geraldo Rivera Show" from years ago. You may remember "The Secret Of Al Capone's Safe" debacle. Anyway, the Rick Sanchez Show was worse. And yes, it is possible to be worse than Geraldo. Just ask Rick - he will tell you how its done.

There are many more reasons why Rick is the biggest asshole on CNN, but if I keep going this post will crash blogger due to its length. The post would get so long that it may end up crashing the entire internet. All the memory from all the servers on the web would be sucked up, and all the bandwidth would be needed just for one person to download the whole thing.

So you will just have to take my word for it. He is the biggest asshole. Miami wants him back about as much as Europe wants The Black Plague back.

1 Comments:

Blogger Fuzz said...

You make me glad I don't watch TV.

18:10  

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