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Friday, March 09, 2007

What I Learned Today

You know, I learned something today.

You should remove all jewelry when you go out on a boat. Yes - this is what I learned today. Wedding rings, or ANY ring for that matter - have NO PLACE on a boat. So take it off before you get on board. From now on I will require all people who step on my boat to remove and stash ALL jewelry. Mostly rings.

Why is this? CAUSE I AM THE CAPTAIN - thats why! Maritime tradition calls for never questioning the Captain. This is because even if you do not understand why the Captain says to do something, there is a reason.

WARNING - these are not exactly pretty pictures. But who ever said reality is pretty?

GRUESOME PHOTO 1
GRUESOME PHOTO 2

Ugly huh? Well here is what happened. The guy in the photo was handling lines while wearing his wedding ring. Somehow (probably due to improper line handling) a line got caught on his ring. Now consider that a boat can weigh many thousands of pounds, and that force can be transfered from the boat to a line to a ring to the skin on a finger and.....well it is ugly.

See? You learn something every day. The subject in the photo learned the painful way. Tis better to learn the non painful way says I.

And in other news, in order to drum up more traffic to this site I decided to throw in a few words likely to get Googled.

Cute chick with a nice pussy. Yes I typed that. Cute chick with a nice pussy. Google will pick this up and add it to the vast search engine. The more I type cute chick with a nice pussy the more Google will index this site for those words. And I will even throw in a photo of a cute chick with a nice pussy!


What is that? Not what you were expecting? Well then I do not know what to tell you here. That is a cute chick with a nice pussy. I defy you to say it is not.

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23 Comments:

Blogger dusty said...

Sweet jesus, you want more hits use technorati tags ya freak :P

Do you know that poor man in those pictures? Dude..I am gonna have nightmares. If you know him..tell him an old hippie broad in Bako said a prayer for him tonight.

01:59  
Blogger Ed Abbey said...

I once casually mentioned peeing in the Grand Canyon and I've been beseiged with hits of people wanting more information on that subject.

The second most common search on my blog is nudist bicyclists after writing about seeing one on a bike ride across Iowa. Nudity sells and I'm sure your cute chick and nice pussy are sure to get many hits.

08:26  
Blogger Matt said...

That's definately a furry pussy.

11:22  
Blogger Badoozie said...

uncle festers meth recipe
uncle festers meth recipe
uncle festers meth recipe
uncle festers meth recipe


i want someone else besides me to get that hit so there don't say i never gave you anything

11:24  
Blogger Cheesemeister said...

That is the nicest cute chick with nice pussy that I've ever seen. I would even pet the chick and the pussy. And I'm not usually wont to say such things!

11:47  
Blogger Daisy said...

OH MY COD! Why did I look? And not only did I look at picture number 1, I HAD to look at picture number 2 also. Aaaaahhhhh!

13:14  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Dusty - I do not know whose hand is in the photos. I had a link to that technorati thing on the old template, but did not transfer it to the new template. Seems I forgot.

Ed - I will mention peeing into the grand canyon, and nude bike riding soon. Very soon. Thanks for the key words!

Matt - too furry really. Long hair on a pussy is just a bad idea in general. Hair gets EVERYWHERE!

Badoozie - Uncle Festers Meth Recipe huh? Sounds yummy! If you like getting meth mouth and having all your teeth rot out.

CM - It is a nice picture. All peaceful and stuff.

Daisy - when accidents happen on a boat, they can be pretty terrible. The sea, she be a harsh mistress.

13:49  
Blogger Fuzz said...

I was working on a truck once ( without disconnecting the battery ) and inadvertently grounded it with my wedding ring. it was very unpleasant. But I am a slow learner, and still don't take it off.

17:53  
Blogger UNO said...

I just took off my wedding rings.

18:25  
Blogger Badoozie said...

frotterism

19:37  
Blogger Badoozie said...

voice imodulation

19:37  
Anonymous senor caiman said...

The Lazy,

I really prefer to have my pussy shaved.

I've been around many boating mishaps. Those fingers look nasty. I had one friend die tubing and another friend die skiing. Boating is dangerous.

22:26  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Fuzz - I once dropped a wrench on a battery and shorted the terminals. Man was that fun! The noise it makes, and spark it creates, is something else. Also heats up the tool pretty good. I have heard horror stories of gold chains melting - while being worn. But no need to remove the ring for trucks.

Uno - Are you going on a boat?

Caiman - everything is dangerous. Driving is dangerous. Boats can be dangerous too - so that is why you are careful and limit your risk with safety equipment.

01:53  
Blogger Kristen said...

I paid someone to shave my pussy last year (click for picture). Because you're right - once it gets that long, no amount of licking can keep it in check.

Thanks for the pictures of Mr Umbrella-finger. Gah, me and my stupid curiosity.

11:00  
Blogger Victoria said...

Wow. I was under the impression that that was someone you knew. I just have to wonder... whose reaction would it be to calmy take a picture of the mangled finger? It wouldn't be mine, that's for sure.

12:24  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Kristen - I had one of my long haired cats shaved too. Someone at work said they their long haired cat liked it.

Well Sake did not like it. It did cut down on hairballs and cat hair, but the cat was pissed. And she looked funny. To this day the cat runs from anything that makes a hair clipper sound. If you corner her with something that makes a clipper sound it gets attacked.

Victoria - I have a feeling those photos were taken by a doctor or Coast Guard or EMT or something. The injury does not look that fresh. The blood is dried, and it looks like it was cleaned up a bit.

03:44  
Blogger Cheesemeister said...

For hairballs, there is no need to shave your pussy. Get an Ion Brush for only about $10. My pussy has very long hair and I used to have to clip the mats. Now, no more mats! The Ion Brush is an amazing invention!

01:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I need a tried an true receipe for easy to make meth ice.

17:47  
Anonymous azusascuba said...

You likely won't get one here either.

16:08  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The gruesome photo is called "degloving". Evidentally happens more than we know. Biz associate of mine was missing his ring finger. Asked him why/how? On a fishing expedition during a company trip. Water got rough, tried to sure himself up with a cable and skinned instantly. Can happen slamming a door shut as well. Bottom line is don't wear thick wedding rings; could cost you your finger in an instant.

22:49  
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