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Sunday, May 20, 2007

How Much Crack Do Insurance Agents Smoke?

Figure this one out.

The old boat was insured for $2500 and also carried property damage coverage. So if I crashed into a $5 million yacht (CHEAP ASS GHETTO YACHT in the world of luxury boats) the policy would pay for the damage I caused (or $50,000 of it anyway - yacht boy better have his own insurance cause I do not have diddly squat) and also pay me $2500.

The new boat has 6 times the coverage for a little less than double the premiums. So now if I crash into a $5 million luxury yacht, I get paid mo money. At this rate I could just increase the insurance coverage another 6 times, double the yearly premiums again, crash into a marker, and get paid enough to buy a brand new (larger) boat - AND have some money left over for ice and beer.

Of course they would find ways to not pay. They will insure anything for any amount - and gladly collect those premiums - but they will find ways to not pay claims.

For example, today at the boat ramp someone with a nice 30 foot center console boat with twin 250 hp Yamaha 4 stroke outboards (top of the line engines) said that his boat was stolen. They took the engines, the steering, controls, t-top, and all electronics from the boat.

The insurance company refused to pay the claim because "the tires were not removed from the trailer". The guy claims this was not written in the policy. So what the hell is the point in the insurance? Might as well not have the shit and just save the money you are wasting in premiums.

Or maybe I can start an insurance company! Give me your money, and I will insure anything for cheap. Property insurance? Got you covered! You live on the water and need flood coverage? NO PROBLEM! Give me your money and Ill give you a paper saying anything you want.

But if you make a claim (like if s hurricane comes) then I will just go "out of business" and you can have all "company assets" - which will consist of a file cabinet with other policies, an office swivel chair, a computer (loaded with cool games), and a copy of the "Don't Worry Be Happy" CD. Thats it! All the money will have gone to me as "salary". Can't go after me, for I will just be the President of the corporation.

Anyway, the new boat will have a valid policy soon. And I suppose I should get the thing registered. And get a tag for the trailer.

DO NOT TELL WEST MIAMI POLICE, but when I towed the boat out today I just used a tag from another trailer. Technically not legal, but I got away with it. How is anyone going to know a Magic Tilt trailer from a Rocket trailer anyway? Huh? You tell me. The sticker that says "Rocket" may be an issue, but I was counting on that little detail being overlooked.

Anyway I will get a proper tag for the trailer. And boat insurance, even if the bastards will try to find ways to not pay any claims I might have to file. Ill break into the insurance company office and hide rusty nails in all the office chairs. Or maybe fill the water cooler with killer bees. Or something.

Next weekend is some sort of holiday or something. This means the boat ramps will be extra super mega crazy. So I will avoid them. Maybe I can swing a weekday trip? Probably not. I still need to add the electronics (GPS and radio) and get the fish finder.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a safety inspector are you allowed to officially inspect your boat? What happens if your shit don't pass?

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

I can not inspect my own shit due to conflict of interest reasons. Also I hate seeing corn and peanuts I already ate.

Nothing happens if I do not pass. The inspections are not mandatory. The reason for doing them is to increase public awareness of State and Federal regulations. Most people that fail think they are in compliance, or are unaware that there are regulations. The most common things I have found that fail boats are expired flares and navigation lights that do not work.

Some insurance companies may offer a slight discount for having a valid inspection sticker.

Right now I would not pass. I do not have a valid vessel registration. All the other crap I have. I want to have an extra fire extinguisher. I did not put the boat in the water today, I just lugged it out so everyone could see it.

Blogger cathouse teri said...

Let it be a lesson to you. Be careful who you insure with! There really are good insurance companies out there. Get one!

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

Insurance companies suck. That being said, the insurance that allows you to ram yachts and collect and buy bigger boats sounds like it could work out pretty well for you!

Anonymous caiman enterprises said...

The Thin Man,

I like to belittle insurance salesman and slash their tires.

I don't recall having insurance on any of my boats. I just figured if it sank it was meant to be.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Teri - I think the better lesson is read the policy carefully. And have a lawyer on retainer if you have to sue their asses.

CM - I do not have to ram anything really. I can just observe the speed zones in the intracoastal waterway and let a bigger boat run into me.

Caiman - the insurance is not really to protect against sinking. It is more for liability. If some yahoo runs into me at least there will be money to pay for my funeral.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I laughed outloud at your don't worry be happy CD, and your inspection of your own shit. Keep up the good comedy I think you have cattyteri hooked.

I never believe when people tell these stories about not getting paid because of obscure things like "no tires removed" because that is so a lawsuit waiting to happen, it makes me wonder if you're getting the whole story.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Ba Doozie - it is possible that the insurance refused to pay out. Removing boat trailer tires is a basic theft prevention method. A lot of people do this. It was a really nice boat, so it is possible that there was a "take all reasonable measures to prevent theft" clause in the policy.

Blogger cathouse teri said...

Yeah, that too. :)


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