Things To Do
So here I am, sitting here while a little gray kitten chews on my arm. I tell him to stop and put him on the floor, and 15 seconds later he is back, chewing on my arm. The little furry bastard does not like to chew on clothing - he seems to like bare skin better.
And I got to thinking. I think a certain Devon Rex calico cat who lives in Florida needs a little brother. Free delivery! He even comes with a free bag of Iams kitten food.
In other news, I have to find out what the hell is going on. My check card seems to have stopped working. Last night I tried to buy some stainless steel BBQ tools and a stainless steel grill surface for veggies / fish in a closeout deal at West Marine and the darn check card did not work. Today I go to a different West Marine store for two stainless steel bolts, two stainless steel nuts (for the GPS antenna - the old hardware was not long enough) and some new zincs for the outboard engine. The check card failed to work again.
Good thing I have the backup credit card. That thing works. But I hate using it. Something about getting a bill just blows. Using the check card means I never ever get a bill. The money is deducted directly from the checking account.
So this means I have to go to the bank and find out what the deal is. I hate going to the bank.
I have some other business to attend to as well. It seems that a certain entity still thinks I owe it money. I disagree with this entity. So I have to go back to the magical building that does not exist and find out what is going on - again. For the third time. Maybe this time everything will get sorted out. I really just need party A to send all the information to party B so that they can then inform party C that there is an error, so that party C and tell party D and then party D can tell party A that everything is cool. Pretty simple huh? I think so.
It is really not that complicated. I am just embellishing for dramatic effect.
Oh yea, I have to call a cheese head and consult it about the ticket that I am very guilty of. I suspect the cheese head will try to convince the man that I am in fact not guilty. But trust me here - I am guilty as hell. The cop was not so much hiding behind a tree as standing there. I just did not notice.
But I will see if I can find a cheese head that can make me not guilty. Even if I am guilty. The man does not need to know this.
America is truly a great place. I can flagrantly violate the law, and yet I can be not guilty simply by hiring a cheese head.
Labels: bank, brother for Daisy, guilty or not guilty, lawyers
posted by The Lazy Iguana @ 00:54
17 Comments:
I'm seriously considering going to cheesehead school.
So your checkcard is worn out? the magnetic strip is broke? ask them to punch the numbers in by hand and then you'll know.
You freaking slay me dude..but I love reading your blog :)
Doozie - it is not the magnetic stripe. The card reads in the store scanners. It even lets me input my PIN. But then the cash register says "refuse purchase". WTF??!?!
Dusty - You are not a cheese head are you? Cause if you are I need someone to convince the man I am not guilty of an illegal lane change. But I am guilty.
I'd be willing to bet that your check card has expired. Check the date on the front. It just happened to my wife about two weeks ago. Somehow, the normal replacement card that they send out in advance got delayed.
Lazy, Check your email! ;o)
I do not want a brother. Because I already have Pixie. And she is mean.
But thanks for thinking of me.
Ed - the check card expires in 08. Something else is up.
Saur - I did.
Daisy - the little gray kitten is not mean. He likes to play. He will probably bother you at first, but once you two are friends you can gang up on Pixie.
I certainly hope you are going to let us know what happened with the check card!
I think you should name the cat Count Orsino ~ "If music be the food of love, play on!"
The Lazy,
Isn't America great?
I love getting my credit card bill because I can look through it and laugh at the crap I bought during the month. Did I really need a balsa wood airplane from Cracker Barrel? yes
Actionbell - I guess with all the times I piss on traffic law I should expect more tickets. But by Miami standards I am actually an excellent driver. Really. So getting a ticket is a somewhat rare event.
Teri - I will let everyone know whats up with the check card.
Caiman - I need the balsa wood airplane from Cracker Barrel. And I also want a detailed accurate scale model of a clipper ship, or a square rigged cargo ship.
Yeah you really need to check with the bank on that one... what with all the identity theft going around. Could be there was illegal activity on your account and they froze your card. I hope not, but if it isn't the magnetic strip, then I dunno! Mine will still work even after it expires... until I activate the new card.
Here in Indiana you can get a type of court deferral for traffic violations, namely speeding tickets. Basically you just go to the courthouse, sign some papers that say you promise not to break the rules again, or you'll be fined double next time. The violation is off your record, hence no points removed from your license.
Normy - I like that. But there is no such rule in FL.
Lazy,
I have worked operations(and yes, frequently robbed) at a bank.
It sounds like a card spending limit issue. Some only let you debit approx $500 to $1000 a day Even debit cards have limits to keep the bad guys from wiping you completely out. Some have ATM limits. Some have daily or weekly spending limits. You can always request a higher limit if you need it.
Otherwise, I'd be checking the balance. Has your last waiter given himself a $500 tip? It could be bank error with your last deposit...or a million other things. Sometimes it's just visa being difficult.
I sound so anal...I know. I also love balancing my checkbook.
Kristen - I can arrange for the little cat to come visit you. Where is the closest airport? I have always wanted to visit Canada eh.
Eight years ago, we had Isis thrust upon us when she was 5 months old. She used to jump on P.E.'s head. He was an old curmudgeon even then and he would yowl at her, but this did nothing to stop her.
Isis is still obnoxious and if you tell her to stop doing something or push her away she yowls--really tells you off. The most obnoxious cat in the Universe--it's her way or the highway.
if it will make you feel better you can always drop by that favorite cop hidy spot when they're not there and cut loose a few pounds of roofing nails or cat feces. improper lane change... pfffft.. bad cop, no donut.
Anonymous - I was considering laying down a thick coat of varnish. This will make the ground smooth. Then spread some teflon and oil around.
Cops on ice!
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