The Dentist
Monday. What was I doing Monday? Oh yea, the usual. Not much exciting. Just the usual non-exciting stuff. Due to the schedule I keep, I was sleeping in late. As usual. Pretty dull.
And then the cell phone rings. Waking me up. Well sort of waking me up. I was trying to "sleep" while Skipper the little gray kitten was pouncing all over the place in an effort to get me up so I would feed him. So I was "sleeping" as well as someone can sleep while a kitten is trying to bite them on the nose. Or ear lobe. Or chin. Or hands / arms / feet.
So anyway, while all this was going on the phone rings. It is the dentist office! They want to pick crap out of my teeth again.
Oh yea, NEW IGUANA MUSIC!
This is good really. You see, I was keeping up with the flossing and stuff, but then I got lazy. And I also started to brush only with mouthwash. I take a swig of Listerine and then brush. I figure that kills all the bacteria and crap. Then I spit the shit out. Pretty much all there is to it.
So anyway, they want to pick the plaque out. Whatever. The chick that works behind the desk is kind of hot. And I kind of like the tooth pressure washer thing. Even the metal hook scraper / poker thing is not too bad. Yea your gums may bleed a little. WAAA WAAA WAAAA. Grow a pair already.
What gets me is the DRILLING. Oh that is horrible. But as long as there are no cavities, there will be no drill. I am not cavity prone. Good news there.
But that is not the point.
Whoever called from the dentist office wanted to set up an appointment. So I say OK why not. Then they ask a dumb question. "Is 10:00 AM ok"? Oh hell no. 10 AM? Are people even awake that early? 10 AM is not OK. 10 AM is Satanic. 10 AM is evil. 10 AM is an unholy hour of the day.
So I opted for the 2:45 PM appointment. That is much better. I can wake up at a more reasonable time, get dressed, leave, and I might even make it there on time!
Seriously, I have some other things to do. I can get up and get that shit done before I go to the dentist. While I am getting all de-plaqueified (is that even a word??) the stuff at home can cure. When I get home it should all be done.
Or I can be a total bum and sleep till 1 PM. Pretty much a 50/50 chance of this happening.
And what is it that I need to do? Finish the boat project.
1. Let out all the anchor line. Remove the old shackle holding the anchor onto the chain. Replace it with the stainless steel swivel I bought. Mark the line off every 25 feet with orange spray paint. Then bring the line back in with the windlass.
2. Fish the fish finder transducer cable through the boat. This will be easy because I can use the old transducer cable to pull it through.
3, Install the new fish finder. Hook it up to power and the GPS.
4. Glue the bilge pump plates back into the bilge. This will involve having to towel dry the bilge to make the silicone stick.
I am thinking I can get number 1 and 4 done before I go, and start with number 2 and 3. It all depends on how much of a bum I am.
Ill update everyone to the amount of blood and chunks of bloody stuff I spit out into the little sink thing by the dentist chair. I might take some cell phone pictures! Fun fun!
Labels: bleeding, blood, chunks of stuff, dentist, plaque, unholy hour of the morning
posted by The Lazy Iguana @ 00:30
14 Comments:
Good luck with your deplaquification!
L.I. - Yes, I was named after a small town on Cape Cod. Dad wasn't a cat person when Cat Couch met him - but they stayed at an inn (Bradford Inn) with lots of cats and he was turned to the good side. Cat Couch let him name me.
Good luck at the dentist... I don't really mind going either, but some people have a phobia of dentists.
That is a good idea marking off increments of feet on your anchor line... I'm going to have to do that but maybe in ten feet increments. There aren't many places in the river that are over 50 feet deep.
Listerine tastes yucky, although I use the Crest Whitening Rinse and I'm a compulsive flosser..of my teeth. Those Reach Flossers are the best and the cleaning lady is almost always freaking out at how clean my teeth are.
So is your Dentist or Hygienist hot? Nothing like getting smothered by a strangers chest while they pick at your teeth...
I hope you remembered to look up your nose before you went to the dentist. Buggers are a turn-off.
I would totally visit your page more often if it didn't take so damn long to load! (Not that I think you care about how much I visit... but I'm just sayin!)
HOt office girls are a good reason to keep up on those teeth.
drilling is horrible, I agree...try having all your old mercury fillings drilled out and replaced. That was so much drilling, I think the vibrations rendered me mildly retarded
The Lazy,
My Dentist hired a hot cleaning girl. This helps make the visit more tolerable.
That boat has turned into quite a project. You're not gonna know what to do when it's all done.
Daisy - all is good. No problems. Or plaque.
Chatham - Happy 20th old guy. I figured your name was from a town on Cape Cod by looking at a map.
Normy - the dentist only bugs me a little bit. I am wise to their scams and tricks. Marking off the anchor line is a great idea. For saltwater anchoring you need a 7:1 scope - so this means a lot of line. I guess freshwater is different. To anchor in 50 feet of water I would need at least 200 feet of line. 300 would be better.
Ems - I am used to Listerine. I figure the burning sensation is worse for the bacteria than me.
TLP - I always forget to pick out my nose before I go. Drat.
Teri - I am going to do something about the slow loading. In fact I am going to try something now.
Doozie - the drilling is what I hate. All the rest is OK. I saw a hookup for the good gas. Ill steal some of that if drilling is ever needed.
Krokodil - the boat really does not need major done. Just a few small things, that turned into more small things and so on. I have gone out in it a few times already.
My Sweetie was using Listerine on Toe Fungus. I'm not real crazy about the smell.
I don't have a lot of teath left.
Fuzz - Listerine works on a lot of things. Teeth are good. How else can you eat an apple, or crunch on carrot sticks?
I always love when I have to make any kind of medical appointment and they immediately offer me some morning time, such as 9 AM.
"That won't work," I say. "I work the graveyard shift."
"Oh, ok," says the perky receptionist who has this puzzled sound in her voice as if she is thinking "Do people actually DO that??" Then she says "How about 11 AM?"
I have to say "How late is the latest you can go?"
No matter how long I'm with a medical provider (I've been with the same dentist for 15 years and the same chiropractor for almost three) I get this every time!
Carrot sticks are a project. One has to be persistent.
When you are in dire need of an emergency dentist in Northampton, Ma, there are quite a few options for those who have found themselves in the city of Northampton. You can search online and find several directories that list of dentists in the area. The best way to narrow down your choices is to look for a dentist in Northampton that has been recommended by either your family or a friend, or you can take the recommendation of a medical professional. Either way, the first thing you want to do is to take a look at the emergency dentist .
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