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Thursday, June 07, 2007

The Scabies

It seems the funk is going around. Someone I know who lives in Miami is confirmed with the Scabies, and I suspect that someone I know only electronically MAY have the scabies. Or mumps. Or hives. Or some manner of mystery funk.

I blame the hippies. Really. Before the person I know from Miami (who seems to have good hygiene) got scabies - the ONLY people I heard of getting them were hippies. Grateful Dead following, VW Bus living, forest dwelling because they can not afford a decent hotel room, patchouli oil wearing, no bath in 6 months HIPPIES! Who else gets covered in mites and does nothing about it?

So I have new Iguana Music for the occasion. Yes - I really do have music for anything. check it out. I went through A LOT of trouble.

Now I will bitch about the stupidity that is I-Tunes and that digital rights management BULLSHIT! Why can't I just get MP3 format? That is what I want. But nooooooo. I-Shit wants to sell you some funky M4P file. And you can ONLY play it through I-Tunes. And only on computers that I-Tunes lets you play it on. And then if you want to dump it to an MP3 player? Better have the I-Pod shit that supports that funky ass M4P digital rights management BULLSHIT file! Yup!

So here is what I did. AFTER fighting with the computer for several hours. Yes, it became a challenge. Could I get around the digital rights shit? And where the hell are MY digital rights? Huh? I have a cheap ass MP3 player. It does not support any of these funky formats. So what - I have to buy another player so I can listen to crap I buy? HELL NO!

First I tried downloading some third party software that claimed to convert M4P to MP3 files. Well something I installed locked the shit out of the computer. The windows task manager would say the CPU usage was at 100% and nothing would run. Then everything would crash - EVEN the task manager!

So after restarting over and over and getting pissed off, I remembered safe mode. So using safe mode I was able to uninstall all the shit. Then the computer worked again.

So I get to thinking. What if I want to listen to my I-Tunes on a real stereo? Or in my car? Can I burn a M4P file to standard CD audio format to play on any CD player? YES I CAN! I-Tunes has this feature.

Well now this is retarded! The music industry is getting all pissy because I-Tunes is dumping DRM, but the DRM is actually VERY EASY to get around yourself! Here is what you do. It works - and you probably do not need to DL jack.

1. Using I-Tunes, create a play list.
2. Using I-Tunes, BURN that play list to an audio CD.
3. RIP the audio CD using Windows Media Player or whatever else you have.
4. Get those "protected" files in MP3 format, totally unprotected. The MP3 files you end up with will play on ANY device or computer. None of this "you can not buy the cheap MP3 player to listen to your music" bullshit.

Anyhow - enjoy the anti scabies Iguana Music. Unless you HAVE scabies. In which case you will be itching something horrible.

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Blogger Daisy said...

I have never had scabies. It does not sound good. Anything with the word "scab" in it cannot be good. Sometimes the cats in the shelter get ringworm. They aren't really worms though. Or rings.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really wanted to hear that song and I'm clicking and clicking on that thing and nothing is happening. IN fact my cursor disappears when I get on the button, please help! my scabies are out of control. Do you know someone who will stab me in a mercy killing?

Blogger Ed Abbey said...

Back several years ago, I gave my father some bottle caps with free downloads from I-tunes and discovered the same problem. However back then, when I saved them to an audio CD, it did it in mp3 format and there wasn't a need to rip the CD with other software.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Daisy - scabies are like little tiny ticks. You get them from hippies.

Ba Doozie - the music plays for me. Strange. I will have to try to load it on another computer.

Ed - I-Tunes is pissing me off. I will only use it as a last resort if I can not find the stuff anywhere else first. But now that I think of it, I know how to rip to MP3 now so it is not a big deal.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

itunes? uh.. yeah right.. i use a download program called frostwire. no spyware or other BS to download music. yes, theres a little learning curve so you learn to filter out the fake songs from the real songs (hint-file size) but aside from that it works great.

moral issues about "stealing" music? not here.. i purchased over 300 cds over the years when i was a teenager at about $12-15 a peice. they made enough money off me.

if your concerned about the RIAA gestapo tracking you down just go somewhere that offers free public wifi.

Blogger Herr Krokodil said...

The Lazy,

I say Doozie has the scabies from sleeping at the firehouse. The firemen rarely clean their sheets.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Anonymous - Frostwire huh? I need to install that.

Krokodil - It is true. Firemen never wash their sheets. They just burn them when they get too funky.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've installed a sign on my condo now and it says "don't feed the hippies"

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

You need another sign that says "all persons trying to start a hippie music jam fest shall be forced to get a job".

Blogger Emma Sometimes said...

I always get scabies mixed up with shingles. Shingles are a chicken pox strain....I'm retarded.

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

A couple at the retirement community where I work brought back bed bugs from one of their vacations. And my ex husband rides a bus which takes a lot of people to and from the airport. Somehow I ended up with bed bugs in my home. I got bed bug killing stuff. But they hide in cracks so sometimes although I think I've gotten them all we'll have another run in with them...bastards!
A lot of the elderly folks where I work end up with shingles. I definitely don't want shingles or scabies either!

Blogger Dusty said...

Ahem..Dude, I spent the formative years of my life as a hippie. I never got, nor did I know anyone that ever got Scabies.

Crabs yes..but not scabies. BTW..I NEVER got crabs either.

I know..this comment is majorly TMI :P


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