Music For All Occasions.
There is new Iguana Music. I put it up for one regular reader who may have to lynch a former landlord if the landlord tries to bogart the security deposit. Because we can. You know we can. Let's lynch the landlord man!
Except in this case it is a landlord lady. But whatever. Maybe "Bitch Better Have My Money" by Easy E, AMG, and DJ Quick would have been better. But that song is not really about landlord issues.
I have Iguana Music for almost any occasion. Really. I have downloaded / ripped a bunch of crap. Really. And if I do not have it, I can probably find it.
Now maybe someone will share the secret to keeping stainless steel all nice and pretty. I have been using fresh water. There is also metal polish and even wax. But so far I have found that what is better than all that crap is to wash the stainless steel down with fresh water every time it is exposed to salt water.
And do not buy that polished stainless steel shit. Because then you have to keep it polished. And that is a pain in the ass if you have a lot of it. My boat does not have a lot of stainless steel. but it is there. The propeller, the bow rails, the grab rails on the center console and helm wind screen, the handles by the swim platform ladder, and the swim ladder. It sounds like a lot, but it really is not. However I am lazy and do not enjoy polishing metal very much.
So I prefer the matte finish. The metal is not as shiny. So this means my lazy ass can get away with not messing with it very much.
The new BBQ grill however is VERY shiny. Some asshole decided to design it that way. Probably someone in marketing. Some asshole in marketing TOO STUPID to realize that water spots and salt deposits show up better on shiny surfaces. Oh yea and then there is the heat problem. Metal with a highly polished finish gets dull when you get it hot. And BBQ grills, by default, tend to get a little hot. Here is how this decision was probably reached.
ENGINEER: Look at this great new product I just designed.
MARKETING ASSHOLE: Ohh that is neat! We will sell a bunch of them! By the way, what is it and what do you use it for?
ENGINEER: It is a BBQ grill. For boats. You use it to grill stuff. On your boat.
MARKETING ASSHOLE: Very cool. But you need to make it shiny. People like shiny things. We will sell more of them if it is shiny. Marketing research proves this.
ENGINEER: But making it shiny cause other problems. It will get dull as soon as you use it and water spots will show on it. Customers will have to keep polishing it all the time.
MANAGER: So what? Once they buy it I do not give a crap what they do or don't do with it. And marketing is right! People like shiny things. I like shiny things.
MARKETING ASSHOLE: Yes. Shiny....shiny....shiny.....
ENGINEER: I am leaving early. Is that OK?
MANAGER: shiny....shiny....shiny.....
ENGINEER: Ill take that as a yes.
What do you want to bet it went down just like that?
So yea, I need the secret of keeping stainless steel all nice and whatever. And no smart ass answers like "don't touch it" or "don't use it" or "don't get it near saltwater".
I need to take a picture of the grill. It is pimp-tastic. While it is still all nice and shiny because it has never been used or taken near saltwater. Which may happen Friday.
I wonder if I have any Iguana Music relating to this?
Labels: BBQ, Iguana Music, marketing, stainless steel
posted by The Lazy Iguana @ 02:24
7 Comments:
As an engineer by profession, I assure you that the conversation went down EXACTLY like that.
I design stuff our of stainless steel and what I use to shine it and prevent water spots is a can of common WD-40. It is the same thing as the stainless steel polish you can buy in the store though it does have a slightly more oily feel later on so you may not want to use it on the ladder rails. On the other hand, it lasts a lot longer than the stuff you buy in the store.
Now excuse me, I have to go design more things in stainless steel because my vice president was a former marketing bitch, I mean manager.
Ask Doozie about stainless steel. I think she said she uses baby oil (no joke). She gots some wicked clean skilz.
I know WD-40 also works well for water spots on anything (stainless steel, shower door, etc..). You can also buy Stainless Steel cleaner at Target/WalMart, it's in the cleaner isle close to the silver polish.
Emmers revealed my secret. I scrub it with Old Dutch Cleaner, available at the dollar store, two cans for a buck, then I use baby oil on it. Shines like a diamond in a goats butt. no water spots. WD 40 works but costs more and has an odor. You don't always have to use Old Dutch if you keep up on it from the start.
Thanks again for the landlord music, I thoroughly enjoyed it
The Lazy,
I remember my first Mercury motor which was all white with a black stripe, I use to spray the inside with something like WD40 and that engine lasted forever in the salt water.
Sales people make more money than engineers. Now if the engineer is handsome can handle a knife and can talk fast that's the best of both worlds
Creatures with lower reptilian brains are often very attracted to shiny stuff. Things like fish. Shiny, shiny! This explains why companies always have to make stuff shiny. Maybe you can use your grill to lure some fish.
Ed - Stainless steel is one of my favorite materials. I would love to have an outboard engine lower unit, power head, and drive shaft made out of 100% marine grade stainless steel. That would totally rule. But it would be heavy as hell and super expensive.
I would think that WD-40 is a not go great thing to put on metal that is going to get very hot.
Emma - I may use some of this information to keep the rails all nice and pretty. But the grill needs to not have any oil put on it. It is going to contain an 18,000 BTU propane fire.
Actionbell - the BBQ grill is pimp-tastic. It shines like it is made of fine sterling silver. I can use it as a signaling mirror.
Ba Doozie - Jello Biafra does not seem to like his landlord very much. And he makes a good point - the tenants CAN gang up on the landlord and lynch their ass. I will try the Dutch Cleanser and baby oil in my bow rails. If they are not too slick after then Ill do the other rails. I did not know a diamond in a goat's ass would shine.
Caiman - if you take care of an outboard engine, salt water really is not bad for them. The boat I just sold had a 1986 model Mercury outboard and that engine was still running strong. WITH the oil injection system still operating. A lot of people disconnect them and pre-mix their fuel. I did not want to do that.
CM - I am not as effected by shiny stuff as marketing people are. I would have much rather had a brushed stainless steel finish. But I did not really have a choice. I got a really fantastic deal in it. It was an offer I could not refuse. I am surprised you did not comment on the Iguana Music! That is classic stuff there!
cure for shiny metal stuff..
if your bar-b-q is solid stainless why not take it to a machine shop and ask the guy to give a quick once over with the sand blaster? might cost you $10 at most. theres a machine shop off 72nd ave and like 43 or 45th st called bird road machine shop. ask for armamdo.
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