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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Got Un Lazy!

Yes that is right. I broke the mold and got un-lazy.

Saturday I mailed in the movies from Netflix I had sitting around for a few weeks. Netflix likes me again.

OH CRAP! That reminds me that I have to update my billing info. The check card I was using was changed to a new number. Something about fraud detection that turned out to be me using three gas stations in only a few minutes. One station would not let me pay at the pump and I did not feel like going in to see the illegal worker. The other station was pumping far too slow. The third one was just right. I already updated the billing info for my satellite radio service. Now I just need to update Netflix and then my Sunpass highway toll paying device thingie.

By the way, if your area offers prepaid electronic tolls, go for it. It rules. I pay my tolls while going 60 mph now. Sometimes faster. All the LOSERS who have to stop to pay are LOSERS. I laugh at them while blowing the booth out without slowing down at all. So if you can, get the electronic toll paying thing. They so totally rule.

OH YEA! And I thought up an improvement on my junk mail project. I can open two junk mails, and then stuff all the stuff from junk mail 1 into junk mail 2 return envelope. And of course all of junk mail 2 into junk mail 1 envelope. That is kind of an improvement to the idea.

I also remembered how I harassed some people down the street who pissed me off by having the Jehovah's Witnesses AND Mormons visit them. I filled out some "yes I want to learn more about _________" cards and mailed them in. I also requested a free book of Mormon over the internet. You know that when you do that - they do not just mail you one. It is delivered by hand. And not by the post office. That is an example of neighborhood "psy ops" warfare. At the end of the post I will give an example of special operations ninja shit.

Anyhow I get three new movies today. Letters From Iwo Jima, The Messengers, and Apocolypto. One will probably be good, one will just be a formula movie that one watches to pass some time, and one could end up sucking. Ill let you all guess which is which. More reviews when I have them.

Skipper went to the vet Monday. So I guess he is an official resident now. Nobody can have him for free anymore. They have to fork over whatever was spent on him at the vet. Nobody is going to do this.

Since the last batch of video links I posted were so popular (Krokodil seems to really like "Death Camp Of Tolerance") I will scour the internet looking for other stuff. Krok - I will post links for the Starvin Marvin episodes one of these days. Not as good as "Death Camp" but OK.

And now for one act of neighborhood warfare special operations ninja shit. This works pretty good and is funny as hell to watch.

HOPEFULLY your target parks their car on the right of way, or backs into the driveway.

You take some nylon rope. Not too thick but not too thin either. 1/8 inch is a good starting point. Wait for garbage day. At 3 AM tie one end of the rope to the garbage can. Route the rope to the rear bumper of the car. Tie the other end of the rope to the car. Place the rope in such a way as to make it as unnoticeable as possible. Your special forces team may have to do some recon and do things to make the rope harder to spot (painting it green so it blends in with the lawn for example). Coil the slack in the rope and toss it under the car.

Now if all goes well, the target gets up to go to work, jumps in the car, starts the engine, and drives off without noticing the rope. They get about 25 or 50 feet down the road and the rope goes tight and the can goes flying. Hopefully it takes them some time to notice that so that the garbage goes all over the place. Away from your yard.

This works best when the person parks their car on the right of way, with the rear bumper near the trash can. Otherwise, the chances of them noticing is anywhere from high to moderate.

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6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I knew you would keep skipper, SUCKER...lol

04:32  
Blogger Cie Cheesemeister said...

Hah--I may be a loser but I'm a smart loser! I don't use the toll road!
Of course since there are options it's pretty easy to make this decision. But I feel like being smug right now!

04:34  
Blogger Daisy said...

We watched Apocalypto last weekend. I thought I would like it, but there was too much violence for me.

08:22  
Blogger cathouse teri said...

I loved Apocalypto. I saw it in the theater. I see most of my movies in the theater because I have a boyfriend. I haven't seen the other two. But thanks for reminding me to send back my Netflix movie. I just get one at a time. It's not such a heavy burden then. :)

You're a funny guy, btw. Have I ever told you that?

Give Skipper a kiss for me. Meow.

11:01  
Blogger Herr Krokodil said...

The Lazy,

I volunteered to handle the next diversity meeting. That museum of tolerance really motivated me.

I've used Vietnam tactics on some of my old neighbors. One died and the other went crazy. I was told by the po po that I was to stop doing what i was doing.

I don't have trash service but i do have a back-ho and a lot of land.

22:13  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Doozie - Skipper is a nice cat. He is not brown but he is gray. He likes me very much and would never shit in my shoes.

CM - I do not use the toll road too often. But sometimes it is the best way to get somewhere. And I never have to fumble for change.

Daisy - I will review the movie when I get around to watching it.

Teri - having someone to pay for your movies is a great scam. Last time I saw a movie I had to buy two tickets. Not really a big deal. Netflix is great because I do not have to deal with the whole theater mess.

Actionbell - Skipper is a nice cat. He likes to hang out with people a lot more than any of the other cats. He is a lap cat, the others are not. I kind of felt bad using the Mormons as a form of psychological war. It was a waste of their time. But it worked. The neighbor never did find out who sent them there.

Krokodil - I am glad that South Park has turned you around and made you more accepting of diversity in America.

01:03  

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