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Monday, June 18, 2007

No Videos Today.

HELP NEEDED FOR THE NEW IGUANA MUSIC!
I do not know if the version of todays Iguana Music was in fact performed by Country Joe and the Fish. A bunch of versions of this song have been recorded. I think the original version was in some movie - Easy Rider or something. So if you know your Country Joe give the music a listen and let me know what the deal is.

I have decided that it is not going to stop raining. So therefore, there is no point in waiting for it to stop. There is no front. The weather map says that there is an area of "high pressure" here, despite the fact that the barometer is FALLING and it is raining every few hours.

This is interesting to me. People go to college and shit to guess about the weather. And they tell me that there is a "high pressure" area over Miami while at the SAME TIME reporting a falling barometer? That is like me saying THIS IS BLUE when clearly it is green.

But in spite of this, the cable for the GPS antenna is run under the deck of the boat. So now the antenna can hang out by the splash well out of the way of everyone. Perfect. There was a Garmin GPS antenna there, but the chart plotter I have will not use that antenna.

The new fish finder transducer is also on the boat, and the cable is run under the deck to the center console. Now all I have to do is install the display bracket on the helm and connect the power wires and hook the GPS up to the fish finder. That will be easy. And the boat is under a carport tarp thing so it can rain while I am doing this.

What else is there? OH YEA! Good news.

Stouffers has some sort of "Dinner Club" thing going on. Packages of some Stouffers frozen foods have a code you enter and get points. You get 100 points for signing up, and 20 points for each package code you enter. You can also get 102 bonus points each month by doing some stupid survey and voting in some stupid poll.

I already have 222 points. 100 for joining, 100 for the survey, 20 for the box code, and 2 for voting in the poll. I have no idea what the points are good for, but I have them. Supposedly starting sometime next month or in August there will be stuff on the Stouffers web site I can bid for, using my points like money. Kind of like frozen food Ebay. If I win then they send me the stuff. I use Stouffers stuff as emergency backup food. If it is late and I want food I can just nuke something and eat it. And now I can get points.

I answered "strongly disagree" for every survey answer. I like screwing up marketing data. That is what they get for thinking that something is "scientific" when in reality it is just bullshit.

And here is what you can do! If you are not going to sign up, email me your box codes! The codes are printed on the inside of the boxes. So email them in. I want a bunch of points so I can bid on something and be a winner.

OH YEA! I have a solution for junk mail. If EVERYONE does this then junk mail will stop. Here is what you do.

1. Open the junk mail.
2. Look for the postage paid return envelope.
3. Stuff all the junk mail into that envelope. Be creative. If something does not fit in the return envelope, tear it till it does.
4. Mail it back. Without any money. Just return all the junk they sent you - at their expense.
5. I like to add a happy face sticker or something to the outside of the envelope.

If everyone starts to do this, the junk mailers will start to loose a lot of money, and the junk will stop. They will get so much return mail (possibly hundreds of thousands or millions of returns) that they will have to hire more people just to open it all and look for checks. And what will they find? Nothing.

I got this idea after mailing the RNC a $2,000 donation during the 2004 election. Of course I sent it in the form of Monopoly money. You can order a stack of Monopoly money for $3.50 by clicking HERE.

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10 Comments:

Blogger Ed Abbey said...

I used to mail metal slugs from a stamping operation that I have access too. But after awhile it lost its appeal and I quit. If they ever pass a Do Not Email list similar to the Do Not Call list, my third wish will be a Do Not Mail list!

07:47  
Blogger Lynn@ZelleBlog said...

I am pretty sure there is a junk mail opt out number- and a few numbers for some of those pre-screened credit offers you dont want but they keep sending. Google some words like junk mail, opt out.

Anyway Iguana I think weather forecasts are a collective waste of our time unless there is something seriously bad they can see coming like a monsoon.

I did not know Stouffers had points and I hate getting sucked in. Way back I smoked Marlboros and we all became obsessed with those stupid miles, my brother even got a kayak and luggage and all kinds of junk with cigarette logos and then we all quit smoking and had to be taunted by stupid jackets and gear. Damn Im old because that was probably ten years ago. On the upside I havent smoked since.

Enjoy the boat, Lazy.

08:07  
Blogger Daisy said...

I like the junk mail idea!

11:15  
Blogger cathouse teri said...

Transducer. Is that like the one from "Rocky Horror Picture Show?"

15:36  
Blogger Matt said...

Reminds me of The Weatherman with Nicolas Cage. I enjoyed that.

18:41  
Blogger TLP said...

I do things like that with junk mail too! ALSO, those postcard size things that fall out of magazines and make litter...I put those in the mail too. They are postage-paid. I don't fill out anything on them. Just put them in the mail.

20:26  
Anonymous here said...

The Lazy,

I do that with my junk mail now. That's funny that you do it too.

I'm going back to the tolerance show.

20:48  
Blogger Emma Sometimes said...

Hey, I made a whole list of the big names to opt out of after I saw something on a morning show.

Opt Out List

Of course, filling pre-paid envelopes just sounds like more fun.

00:55  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Ed - the do not email list would not work very well. A lot of spam is from out of the USA. I like the idea of mailing slugs to make the postage cost more.

Lynn - I remember people collecting those miles. But really - once you smoke enough to get a kayak are you going to actually use it? Paddling those things requires effort you know. I could opt out of the junk mail but I am having too much fun this way.

Daisy - I am trying to start a national movement. Join me in my quest.

Teri - You know what - it DOES sound like something from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Matt - weather forecasters majored in guessing in college.

TLP - I used to fill out random addresses on those cards and mail them off. And once I got the Jehova's Witnesses and Mormons to harass someone by filling out one of those "yes I would like more information" cards.

Krok - I will post the Starvin Marvin episodes. You may like those too.

Emma - My goal is to rid the planet of all junk mail by making it cost too much to send it out. Not just to simply opt out.

04:24  
Blogger Cheesemeister said...

I really hate attempting to diet. Even the word "Stouffers" sounds like gourmet compared to "starvation," which is the other word for "diet." This sucks!

04:35  

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