As If I Do Not Have Enough Already

So you may have noticed something new on the sidebar. The left sidebar. You see, I had to switch over to a three column blog template late last year. With only one side bar, there was simply too much crap. The blog would go on and on and on with no end in sight. Way past the last post the sidebar continued. So I found a boring three column template, stole it, and then proceeded to customize it. So now behold in all its glory! My sidebars full of crap! Marvel at its glory.

But it seems someone did not think I had enough stuff. So they gave me the red button thing. The red button thing is the creation of two people. This person, and that person. Also known as Doozie "The Beagle Master" and Emma "Sometimes High On Coffee". Or always high on coffee. Anyway, something to do with coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.

Anyway, DO NOT PRESS THE RED BUTTON. It is very important. Really. So do not press it. OK? Good. I knew you could follow simple directions.

Now on to movie reviews! Yes movie reviews. We will start with...

Intimacy. Two strangers meet every Wednesday for hot sex. The sex scenes are not simulated by the way. The actors are either doing a REALLY good job at acting, or they are actually having sex on camera. Not like porno sex or anything, just regular hot non porno sex. By the way - it is not acting. Trust me here. You do not "act" like you are sticking something into your mouth. You are either doing that or not. Acting has nothing to do with it.

Anyway, the movie is about much more than sex. It is about relationships. You see, the two just meet for sex once a week. Very little is said. They do not even know each others name. Just sex, then the chick gets up and leaves.

But after a few weeks, the guy wants to find out more about her. So he follows her. And wants to know more about her. Like what her name is. What she does. Anything. And then the real story unfolds. The guy wants more than just sex. He wants her. Will she stay with him? Can she stay with him?

Anyhow, it gets 4 tail whips. One tail whip for the boob shots, and three for the story. I suppose this counts as a chick flick, but the boob shots make up for that. And it is not the standard sappy horrible chick flick. It is gritty and real.

The Mothman Prophecies. The other movie. Now I never expected much from this one. Really. I mean, look at the title. What the hell is a Mothman anyway?

Well it seems that a while back, a bunch of (drunk...stoned....tripping on LSD....all of the above) people were seeing something. This half moth half man thing with glowing red eyes. Spooky huh. Anyway this moth thing would tell people stuff. Stuff that would supposedly come true. But after one event, a tragic event on a river, the moth thing went away and was never seen by anyone again. So they made a movie out of this supposedly true story.

2 tail whips. The movie was pretty cheesy. Even for a movie I knew was going to be bad, it was awful. First off, they never show the Mothman! How can you have a creepy movie without showing the creep? I felt cheated. The movie tried to take itself way too seriously. The director had to know the movie was crap. And so did the actors. And the film crew. And the prop guy. And the janitor. Everyone involved with it had to know it was crap. So why not try to have some fun with it? Oh well. 2 tail whips. Nothing gets 1 tail whip - that honor is reserved for something truly awful.