Saga Of The Postcard

OK this is a good one. While on Sanibel Island I remembered I was supposed to send a post card off to someplace in another State that is not Florida with a communist sounding name. No big deal. I had a whole week to get this one little thing done.

And there is the post card. I did not scan this image, so I guess it got to where it was going. Someone else scanned it and posted it. If you go to visit someone else's blog please leave your beagle in another room.

Anyway I had a whole week to get this task done. So of course, I put it off every day. The store was so far away after all. Yea I drove past it every day - but I would have to pull off the road, park the vehicle, get out, walk in the store, and so on. Mega heavy duty work involved there. So I would just drive past the store on the way to the marina where the boat was. I used the boat a lot because I did not have to trailer the thing to the ramp to get it wet. It was in a wet slip so all I had to do was start the engine and remove the mooring lines.

Anyway as I was getting ready to leave Thursday I went to the store to buy the beer I was taking home. The store had beer that is hard to find in Miami, so I wanted to stock up while I could. And amazingly I remembered the post card. I got the post card for free by the way, it was stuck in a 6 pack box and the cashier pretended to not notice it.

So now I had the post card, but it was late in the afternoon. I drive to the Sanibel post office for one stamp. Just one. With electronic everything these days, I only need snail mail service for my Netflix stuff. So I do not need a lot of stamps. I buy them one at a time.

Now in every post office, there is a stamp vending machine where you can buy single stamps. So I go up to it and the single stamp machine has post card stamps! Great! So I get out a dollar and, of course, the dollar bill taker thing is not working. It will not turn on to accept the money. But maybe the dollar is just old and ratty? Could be. But I have no other dollars because I left my wallet in the truck, which by the way is unlocked and still running. Crime on the island is very low. You can leave your vehicle running while you are in the island 7-11 and nobody steals it.

So I go back to the truck and get another crisp dollar. And then go back into the post office.

The new bill does not work either. The dollar bill taker thing is dead. But why use dollar bills for that? I can just use change! And post card stamps are only 26 cents! So all I need is a quarter and a nickel. And of course here I am with a bill.

So I walk back out and go to the truck to get a quarter. Then go back into the post office.

I put the quarter in the machine and..........it just goes in the coin slot and out of the change return place. So I try again. Same thing.

Back to the truck to get dimes and nickels. But they do not work either, so back to the truck to get my wallet.

At this point I am starting to think evil thoughts. Like maybe I should just take a dump right there on the broken machine so someone has to do something with it. Or maybe I can stick a post it note on the machine expressing my displeasure?

But there is another machine next to the single stamp machine. Of course you have to buy books of stamps there. So I look at the options. One option is a roll of 100 stamps. But at 41 cents per stamp, that works out to $41. I do not want to spend $41 to mail one post card and then get stuck with 99 stamps that will take me years to use up. And during that time the rates will change so I will need to get penny stamps to make up the difference. So that option is out.

And what is this 26 cents shit all about anyway? Or this 41 cents shit? The machines do not take pennies. Nobody takes pennies. They just accumulate until you have 50 pounds of them, and then you have to jug the container to the bank where they dump it in the coin sorter and you get 5 bucks out of it.

So I look at the other options from the vending machine. I see a post card option! Well there I go! Exactly what I need! I get 5 "pineapple post card" for $1.40. We have a winner! So I try to use a dollar in the other machine and......

It rejects the dollar. Oh hell no. This is going to be fun. So I try another dollar and the same thing happens. So I feed the dollar into the machine over and over till it decided to accept it. Then I put in two quarters and select "pineapple post card". And what do I get? Pineapple post cards. Not stamps. But these small cards, with postage already printed on them. Totally useless.

Now it is a mission. Fate is screwing with me. But fate will not win! I will mail the darn thing off. come hell or high water, the post card I got for free is going to some other State. Even if I have to drive it there.

So I look at the other options. I can buy an international rate stamp for a buck something. That will work. Overkill, but it will work. Except those are all out. So how about a book of five 41 cent stamps? All out.

Well hells bells. So I see an option for a book of 20 stamps for $8.40 or something. I can not remember the exact amount.

So I feed 9 bucks into the machine and get the book of stamps. I use one. The rest are still in the truck, waiting for that time when I have to mail something off. Whenever that may be.

I put the stamp on the card, wrote some stuff on it, and stuck it in the mailbox. And it got there.

I hope that shitty post office where nothing works burns down. It deserves to burn down. Or at least the machines need to get fixed.

That is the saga of the stamp.