Modern Communication

Am I the only one who writes the post title last? I am thinking this is a very common thing to do. You know, type a bunch of shit first and then title it when you are done. But who knows. Maybe I just do everything ass backwards.

Someone I know accused me via text messaging of being a "wimp" because I was not drinking Stout. I found this to be amusing. First off, the fact it was a text message conversation means the other person is a chick. The reality is that text messaging sucks. Just call me if you have something to say. But chicks seem to love text messaging - and so for that reason only I tolerate it.

But getting back to why I thought the comment was amusing. First off, I have been drinking beer for well over 10 years now. And when I say drinking beer I do not mean cheap ass nasty crappy beer - I mean good beer. All the underage beer drinking and college dorm beer drinking does not count because that was either Old English 800, Mickey's Malt Liquor, or Natural Lite. I am talking about my "at least a Sam Adams" days. And Sam is pretty good stuff.

But anyway, the chick that was sending me the messages does not really drink beer. I have gone with her to places with great beer and she is ordering the cider or some other mixed drink.

The reality was I was having some fine India Pale Ale style beer. Now I can not really disparage stouts. I like stouts. But IPA beers have a greater hops flavor than any stout I have ever had. Stouts use dark roasted malts - and usually have more of a sweet malty flavor than a "kick you in the ass" hops bitterness. I kind of like that bitterness.

Anyway, I thought it was amusing. To me, a stout is a lot like water. If I want a "lite" beer I will order a stout. Otherwise, I am drinking a pale ale.

But what do I know? The thousands of dollars I have spent on beer over the years was probably just wasted money.

While I am on this rant, I think I am the only person on Earth that text messages using complete sentences, proper punctuation, and of course good grammar. I even use commas and shit. Nobody else does this. But I do. Why? I do not know. I just do. I do not speak using proper English, but when I write some crap I make a reasonable effort to use the language properly. All this text messaging shorthand crap is garbage. No, I will not "C U L8ER". I do not even know that the hell that means. If you are going to send me that shit you better be really super hot. Because to respond using proper English takes a long time. And when I have been drinking at the bar it takes even longer. I have to remember how to spell words.

So is it easier to text message someone, or just call them? I say it is easier to just call. I can say a lot more shit in a minute than I can type. And if my keyboard is a number pad it is even worse. Quick - what letters go with the number 5? Do not look at your phone and no thinking! Do you know off hand what letters go with the number 5 without thinking about it? Probably not. Unless you are a chick. I have no earthly idea. I would have to look at the keypad or think about it. Lets see here, nothing goes with 1. ABC = 2. DEF = 3. GHI = 4. JKL = 5. JKL! Got it!

Anyhow I will call my friend back later. When the sun is up. And I can talk to her without having to remember what number goes with what letters. Because really - I secretly do not like to have conversations using the text messaging shit.