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Sunday, July 29, 2007

Modern Communication

Am I the only one who writes the post title last? I am thinking this is a very common thing to do. You know, type a bunch of shit first and then title it when you are done. But who knows. Maybe I just do everything ass backwards.

Someone I know accused me via text messaging of being a "wimp" because I was not drinking Stout. I found this to be amusing. First off, the fact it was a text message conversation means the other person is a chick. The reality is that text messaging sucks. Just call me if you have something to say. But chicks seem to love text messaging - and so for that reason only I tolerate it.

But getting back to why I thought the comment was amusing. First off, I have been drinking beer for well over 10 years now. And when I say drinking beer I do not mean cheap ass nasty crappy beer - I mean good beer. All the underage beer drinking and college dorm beer drinking does not count because that was either Old English 800, Mickey's Malt Liquor, or Natural Lite. I am talking about my "at least a Sam Adams" days. And Sam is pretty good stuff.

But anyway, the chick that was sending me the messages does not really drink beer. I have gone with her to places with great beer and she is ordering the cider or some other mixed drink.

The reality was I was having some fine India Pale Ale style beer. Now I can not really disparage stouts. I like stouts. But IPA beers have a greater hops flavor than any stout I have ever had. Stouts use dark roasted malts - and usually have more of a sweet malty flavor than a "kick you in the ass" hops bitterness. I kind of like that bitterness.

Anyway, I thought it was amusing. To me, a stout is a lot like water. If I want a "lite" beer I will order a stout. Otherwise, I am drinking a pale ale.

But what do I know? The thousands of dollars I have spent on beer over the years was probably just wasted money.

While I am on this rant, I think I am the only person on Earth that text messages using complete sentences, proper punctuation, and of course good grammar. I even use commas and shit. Nobody else does this. But I do. Why? I do not know. I just do. I do not speak using proper English, but when I write some crap I make a reasonable effort to use the language properly. All this text messaging shorthand crap is garbage. No, I will not "C U L8ER". I do not even know that the hell that means. If you are going to send me that shit you better be really super hot. Because to respond using proper English takes a long time. And when I have been drinking at the bar it takes even longer. I have to remember how to spell words.

So is it easier to text message someone, or just call them? I say it is easier to just call. I can say a lot more shit in a minute than I can type. And if my keyboard is a number pad it is even worse. Quick - what letters go with the number 5? Do not look at your phone and no thinking! Do you know off hand what letters go with the number 5 without thinking about it? Probably not. Unless you are a chick. I have no earthly idea. I would have to look at the keypad or think about it. Lets see here, nothing goes with 1. ABC = 2. DEF = 3. GHI = 4. JKL = 5. JKL! Got it!

Anyhow I will call my friend back later. When the sun is up. And I can talk to her without having to remember what number goes with what letters. Because really - I secretly do not like to have conversations using the text messaging shit.



Blogger Cheesemeister said...

Awww, man! I was gonna C U L8R 4 sum br3ws, but since you're gonna be all up in my grill like that about it, 4 get it!

Actually I usually write the post title first and change it to suit. Which is the way us NORMAL people do it!

Only kidding. Actually I hate text messaging too, most of the time. I only keep the messenger around for if I'm feeling very lonely and freaked out. But then there's usually nobody to talk to when I need them so I don't know what I keep it for.

Blogger Emma Sometimes said...

OH, I despise texting but do it only if I have to. Then I go to tmobile's site and then type and send my message that way. (tmobile is cool like that). I'm SO with you on the lingo. I'm not up on stuff like that but hey, you can google that stuff...hehe.

I do my post title last, too, because I never know how my post will end up.

So, is she hot?

Blogger actonbell said...

I don't even have a cell phone, but that lingo stuff would drive me nuts, too. A young woman I know is ALWAYS text messaging--future carpal tunnel. I suppose it's a way of being private, instead of talking in front of others?

And yes, it's hard to convince people that Guinness Stout is the lightest beer there is. I agree with you about the beer.

Blogger Herr Krokodil said...

The lazy,

I hate test messaging and fat ugly hoes.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

CM - Sometimes I have to wonder if all this "progress" is worth it.

Emma - If someone sends me a text message, and they are a chick, I usually respond back with a message. Sometimes I just call.

Actionbell - I like stouts. I have nothing against them. But they do seem on the "lite" side. They lack that hops kick.

Krok - sometimes text messages are useful. Like when you want a chick to call you back but she never answers the phone.


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