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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Food That Binds And Democracy.

Doozie brought up a great point in yesterday's comment section. Cheese is the food that binds. So if you have the atomic green apple quickstep, eat a block of cheddar cheese. Extra sharp. That should bind you up so you do not have to go for a week. At least.

So why should everyone keep this in mind? There are times when such knowledge can come in handy. Say you have to fly from New York to India nonstop. Yes, there are flights that do this. But you are in the air for a long time. Like 12 hours long. At least. Now do you want to risk having to use the airplane toilet? Not me. I would eat the cheese.

You see, with my luck the flight would be smooth ant turbulence free up to the point when I enter the lavatory. And then the mega turbulence would hit. I just know it. So I would play it safe and eat the food that binds.

And there could be other times when the food that binds may be handy to know about. You may have tickets to a live performance of Beethoven's 9th Symphony. Maybe you are thinking about drinking the water in a foreign city. Or that burger is just a little undercooked and you get the funk. And so on.

Now this brings up another topic. Tracer foods. Lets say there is a food you suspect that gives you problems. Or you are at a restaurant you have never been to before and suspect it. You need hard evidence what is giving you the squirts.

Eat corn. Plain old boring corn. Try to swallow some of the corn whole. The corn is an excellent tracer food. When you see it come out, then you know that whatever you ate with the corn is now out of your body and on its way down the drain.

Peanuts also work as a tracer food if you can swallow some whole. WARNING - this can cause scratching. If the point of the peanut lodges in the right position, you will feel it on its way out. And it has to come out. There is no stopping it. Prairie Dogging is not good. So I do not recommend peanuts as a tracer foods. You want something softer. Corn is perfect.

You all can thank Doozie over at her blog for this wonderful topic.


And now for the Democracy part of this post. If you made it past the binding agent and tracer food topic.

Vote for what I might do Friday! Or Thursday. But probably not Wednesday. Here are the options!

1. Take the Miami to Key West fast cat ferry for a day trip.

2. Skip the fast cat and just launch my power cat which is smaller and slower and does not have the range to make it to Key West without having to stop for fuel at least once or twice. But I would not try to get to Key West. I would just hang out in Biscayne Bay.

3. Skip the water all together, and just go to Coconut Grove or someplace and hang out. Maybe catch a movie, get some drinks, find food, and so on.

4. Something else. Something a little lower key.

I am thinking I can do 2 and 3. Or 4. Or just 3. Or just 2. Maybe do 2 Friday, because the forecast calls for smooth bay waters and all the kids will be in school and so the boat ramps will be empty and the bay will have very little traffic. And then Saturday or Sunday I can do the land based thing. Or not.

Decisions decisions. I shall know more about what plans I should make on Wednesday. Land or water. Or nothing. It all depends on what I hear Wednesday. Cause that is how I roll. I like to keep myself in suspense. Not even I know what I am going to do.

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Blogger Dusty said...

Not even I know what I am going to do.


But thats why we heart you Lazy :P

Blogger Nvisiblewmn said...

I'm confused. Why are you abusing these cats?

Blogger cathouse teri said...

Let me get this straight, even you are voting on what you might do? Does that mean we can cast an ambivalent vote, as well?

I'm thinking you should do #3, because you already did number two ~ and talked about it in two posts now.

Thanks Doozie!

Blogger cathouse teri said...

I've decided that you and the Doozie girl need to get married and splatter and trace to your hearts' content.

Blogger TLP said...

Cathouse is right. We've heard enough about #2. MORE than enough. So do something that won't require bathroom trips. Cheese and nuts.

Blogger actonbell said...

How long have you had this fear of airplane toilets?

Your tracer-food info reminded me of how Ekim and I used to eat hot wings every Monday night, and you know those were awfully good wings, because we endured Tuesday mornings in their honor.

Mozzarella with olive oil dribbled over the top is a wonderful, binding treat,too:)

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Dusty - it is true. I will elaborate.

Nvisible - not launching the cat into the bay is abusing it. It hates to sit on the tailer for too long.

Teri - you were the only one who voted! Option 3 may be a great idea. Plenty of time to hang out and talk and shit. Doozie lives very far away. She would have to move here, and get a great job so I could just hang out all day and go fishing when I want to.

TLP - I am handing out great advice here!

Action - I love hot wings. And yea, sometimes there are issues the next day. That is when you know the wings were HOT.

Blogger RC said...

man, good call on the india trip plan!

umm & i'd say land.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

India is very far away. It amazes me that a commercial jumbo jet has the range to go from New York City to India in one hop. That is a long way. Land is good, but on the water nudity is legal :)


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