Housekeeping

I need a button that says "housekeeping". That way I can press it whenever I need something cleaned, but I am too lazy to do it myself. Which is 99% of the time.

But anyway, I just did a little blog housekeeping. Mostly with my blog links. I added some, and removed some.

And I cleaned up the playlist thing a little. I removed some songs, and added others. And I am not done yet. Oh no. I want to add even more stuff.

And I better hurry! Because today I was alerted about some sort of storm or such crap that is "out there". Now here is the funny part. I had no idea about it. A storm? Out there? Really? I see no storm clouds! I think you are on drugs.

Except the people were not on drugs. And this is where it gets funny. So pay attention here. The people were extended family visiting Deerfield Beach from Ohio and Mississippi. Got that? OHIO! When was the last time Ohio was hit by a hurricane? Huh? Never - that is when. Oh yea they might THINK they "got hit" because what was once a mighty hurricane passed over them and dumped some rain. But the fact is that 0 hurricanes have hit Ohio in the past 50 million years. And the family from Mississippi? They live nowhere near a beach. They are way up in north Mississippi - on the other side of the state from the river.

So here I am - a lifelong Florida resident - and they say "did you hear about the hurricane on the way?". And what do I think? I swear this is what I said - "Oh yea! Of course! In fact, I am about to get up and get myself another Hurricane Reef beer! Want one?".

"No really, there is a hurricane out there! It is supposed to be here sometime later this week". Still thinking this is a joke, I say "well that works out well for you! You guys plan to leave Friday right? Good plan by the way, it really sucks to be staying on the beach when the power goes out and a 15 foot storm surge rolls in. Of course, you are staying on the 4th floor".

So today I decide to watch the local news at 10 PM. And sure enough, there is a storm out there. WAY out there. 2,200 miles out there. Closer to Nigeria than Florida. And of course, the local weather goon is already starting to bask in the lime light. Seriously, the news NEVER opens up with the weather goon unless there is a storm out there.


So yea, I should probably watch this thing. But other than that - it is just too far away to really get all excited about it.

Now for all you in places like Ohio and Idaho and Montana and places that never get hurricanes, here is what they are like. They suck. Your electricity WILL go out. And your roof might get ripped off your house. Both these things suck to no end. You see, after a hurricane the air is still. Very still. And it is hot as hell. Except after Wilma. Wilma came in on a cold front - and from the wrong direction. Wilma was a rare and unusual hurricane. It did not matter that much that the power was out. Because the air was nice and cool. Just open the windows and there were NO BUGS and it was colder than the AC is normally at.

But this is not usually the case. The hurricane blows out all your window screens, and no matter how hard the wind blows the mosquitoes manage to hang on. So you get to be all hot and sweaty and the bugs are biting you and life just plain sucks.

And now everyone has a generator. But I have rifles. I swear - I am going to start shooting at the noises. People fire up these darn things and let em run all night. ALL NIGHT! So now your window is open and you are hot and cranky and the bugs are getting you and you get to hear the lovely noise created by all the generators near by.

And of course, these noise makers use up a good deal of gas. At least 5 gallons a day. So every day, idiots line up with gas cans so that they can run the #@%$#@% generator all #@$%#@%$# night. But if I simply place one shot in a generator fuel tank, that will take care of that problem. I think I will use the 7.62x51 rifles for this. But they are not the most accurate. So I might miss the fuel tank and hit other parts of the generator. But I think that the end result will be the same. Quiet.

My generator is quiet. You can hardly hear the darn thing. It cost more than any other 2000 watt generator, but it is quiet. So if you are a cheap asshole with a $150 generator - you suck. Spend some more and get a real generator that I can not hear a block away.

But getting back to Dean, which is just a measly little unimpressive tropical storm right now - I will probably be in stage 1 mode in the next few days. This calls for me pulling the boat out one night and filling it up. And I will also start filling the truck up every time I use 1/8 a tank. That way IF the thing hits and the power is out and it is hard to get gas I will have a full tank, and another 55 gallons in reserve in the boat. Cause I am smart. Everyone else is a flippin moron.