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Thursday, September 27, 2007

5 Jours Puis Le Déluge

Five days, then the deluge. And what deluge am I talking about? Got me. I just wanted to rip off a quote from the time of King Louis XV of France. Someone said "après moi le deluge" or "after me, the flood" or "after me, the deluge" depending on who translates it. Webster says it is attributed to King Louis XV. King Louis XVI lost his head.

But really, I got 5 days and then (ba ba bAAAAAAA) the interview. These are always fun. You never know what exactly to expect.

But I have seen the salmon swimming upstream. Only they were not salmon, they were trout. And I was in the Carolinas and not the Pacific Northwest. I have actually never been to the Pacific Northwest. But whatever - I have seen some sort of fish swimming against a rather strong current.

Now have you ever tried to swim against a current? Well I have. It SUCKS! It is like trying to walk down the street - pulling about 600 pounds on a wheel cart behind you. And that is not even a strong current! Even a weak current is hard to swim against. A strong current causes people to panic. I have been caught in them before so I know. Only I did not panic. I read the cover of the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy.

So what do you do if you find yourself in a rip current? Relax. Let it take you out. As soon as you are past the sandbar, the current will get really weak and then just stop. Now you swim back to shore at a 45 degree angle measured from where you were to where you end up. Trying to swim straight back to shore will only get you in the current again. An alternative is to swim parallel to shore till you are out of the current and then back to shore.

But I digress - you CAN NOT fight it. So what does this have to do with anything?

EVERYTHING! That is what. There are just some things you can not fight. Like "the interview". It is going to happen. People will either like you and you get the job or they do not like you and you do not get the job. It is really that simple. So what is the point in getting all worked up about something? You are just swimming against the current.

So I plan to show up. That is about it. There will be questions. I will give answers. People will either like or not like the answers. No bullshit is needed. I have the required amount of knowledge and experience.

But whatever the case, I will not fight the current. I will let the current take me where it wants to go. And once I get there, I will make the best of it - or start swimming back to shore at a 45 degree angle. Whatever.

You get much further if you drift with the current than if you try to paddle against it. So if I get an offer then I will drift with the current at the new job. No point in fighting anything. Just do what I am asked to do - in a timely manner. Pretty simple.

Trout and salmon are dumb.

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Blogger Fuzz said...

I may be stupid, but I've always figgered you might as well be real and skip the BS. If they don't want your kind there, you don't want to be there anyway.

Blogger TLP said...

Good luck with the interview. Be clean, be nice, be positive.

I've seen the salmon in the north west, in the wild and in the hatcheries also, climbing the ladders. It's amazing. It is dumb. One of the many reasons I don't believe in "intelligent design."

Anonymous krok0 said...

The Lazy,

Tell them that you would get rid of all the lazy blacks and instead use Mexicans.

Blogger Dusty said...

Good luck sweetcheeks!

I got caught in a riptide when I was a kid..damn near drowned. I did the swim parallel to the shore thing once I stopped freaking the fuck out.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I lost you right after "pull my hair and don't call me in the morning"

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

Good luck!
I really enjoyed this post. I don't know if you were trying to wax philosophical but it had some rather Buddhist thoughts sneaking around in it. That's what I like about Buddhism. You can apply it to real life. They use a lot of metaphors about water and currents in Buddhism. I think that's what did it for me.
computers suck!

Blogger Ems said...

You will do well. I can feel it.

The Pacific NW has a good number of trout. The biggest rainbow trout (steelhead, actually) I've reeled in is a 14 lb-er. I love it when you can pull a line of trout of the water, gut and clean, and pan fry them...all in out 30 minutes. Now that is fresh fish and so dang good.

You'll like this story from a couple of years ago of a long-time, seasoned diver working at the Bonneville Dam doing inspection underwater. He turns around feeling unusual water moving behind him and sees this enormous, no joke, boxcar sized thing swim past him. He was so scared he retired and refused to dive again. They believed it to be a sturgeon.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Fuzz - that is not at all stupid. If they do not want my kind there I really do not want to be there. BS only ends in BS.

TLP - I got a nice pen striped suit. I forgot who makes it but it cost $400 or $500 at a fancy store. But I might wear the $100 olive suit. I kind of like the olive suit better. It was on super sale. It is NFFP (not for fat people) so only three people in Miami could wear it. I was one of the three. I see nothing "intelligent" about any design. People are stupid. We are all greedy and violent. And we mess everything up. For example, get rid of all the people and there is no pollution, global warming, deforestation, over fishing, or anything. Intelligent indeed.

Krok - I do not think that is a very good idea. Besides, this job is not the kind of job where I can decide to get rid of anybody.

Dusty - rip currents can be scary. But if you do not panic they are no big deal. I was pissed off my myself for getting caught in it because I could see it. But my dumb ass got in it anyway.

Doozie - pull your hair? I never knew you liked it that way.

CM - yes it was rather zen. Or something like that. And it is how I feel. I pick my battles, but I also realize that it is far easier to go with the flow than it is to fight the current. The current usually wins.

Ems - there is a story like that here on the East Coast. Only it is a giant 400 pound catfish.

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

Oh, I forgot to say--trout and salmon are TASTY!


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