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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

I Remember Things Now

Good news! I remembered my dentist appointment. They scraped teeth with the metal pointy hook thing, then used the spinny polishing device. That is it.

But I have to wonder about some things. Like why do they have the bag full of devices that look like they belong in a Bush approved secret CIA torture prison illegally operating somewhere in Europe? They only used one of the tools, but there had to be two dozen or so in the bag. Am I that weak that I talk after only the first tool? Come on now! I should be able to at least make it to tool 5 before I crack.

Now I do not know what kind of autoclave they have at that place. It could be heat, it could be chemical, it could be UV, it could be something else - or it could be a multiple step process consisting of one or more of the above.

Now if I had one favorite tool that I used more than anything else, why not just put that thing in a bag, and then all the other stuff I do not use frequently in another bag? This way someone would spend less time using "the machine" on tools. Instead of having to autoclave 20 things, there would only be one thing.

So what the hell are the other tools for? If they only use the mirror on a stick thing and the one pointy hook scraping tool - what is the reason for opening the bag then dumping a bunch of things out of a bag making this noise on the stainless steel tray? Is that their way of saying "better sit still and not complain and pay in full OR ELSE I will use ALL of these things on your ass". Well not your ass, more like your mouth.

Anyhow it was not too bad. The cleaning was over in not too much time and with minimal blood loss. In and out. The gum pockets are gone.

I will not be losing any teeth anytime soon.



Blogger actonbell said...

I've noticed that, too, and have no idea why the hygienist has such an array of tools--and I guess I'm glad:) It's always a blessing to have the dentist checkup go quickly.

Blogger Herr Krokodil said...

The Lazy,

From your Harlem Globe Trotter picture I wasn't sure you went to the dentist. This news makes me feel great about you.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Actionbell - They must have had 20 or 30 tools in the bag. I think they just like to show them off.

Krok - Did someone pee in your windshield washer tank? That is pretty gross.

Blogger Kristen said...

Hooray for the gum pockets being gone. Mine disappeared, too, and I was glad, because the oral hygienist liked to point them out by sticking tools in there as far as they'd go, then wiggling them around. Then she'd say, "See? There's a pocket right there. Right there. Can you tell?"

Meanwhile I feel like there's an electric chainsaw in my jawbones.

I suspect she was upset that my teeth are good and I had no cavities, so she had to devise some other way to make me not enjoy my dentist visit.

Blogger Fuzz said...

I think they do it to make every one feel important.

Actually, I knew a dentist who went on "missonary" trips to eastern Europe, and worked with local dentists. They all liked his stuff, and he usually came home with an empty bag.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Kristen - the gum pockets measurement thing never really bothered me much. They did not even do it this time. They just pronounced me to be pocket free. No measurement.

Fuzz - I lack the desire to feel important. I want to go to Eastern Europe, just not as a missionary dentist.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember the time my tongue got stuck to the roof of my mouth in an unfortunate schmelting accident and I had to get a tongue donor, but it required someone dying first


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