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Sunday, September 30, 2007

Next Weekend

I really thought someone would like at least one of the game links I provided. They are all free. For free games, they are not bad.

Lets see here - what else? OH YEA! Columbus Day is approaching. Now for most people Columbus Day is a bullshit holiday. Nothing more than writing on your desk calendar. Kind of like "Flag Day". You still have to be at work. I do not think school lets out.

NOTE - the local government here says Columbus Day is in fact a paid holiday. I think that some other branches of the government may also be the same way.

But whatever - in South Florida Columbus Day means one thing - the Columbus Day Regatta.

The regatta itself is boring. Watching a sailboat race is about as exciting as watching a garden snail marathon. The only people that care about the regatta are the ones actually in the race.

For everyone else who does not own a sloop or a restored America's Cup race boat, Columbus Day means this.

HUGE floating party.

Now in this photo you only see SOME of the madness.This is only a sample of what you see if you are there. The National Park where the floating party is expects 2,000 boats and maybe more. It really is chaos on the high seas.

I plan to be somewhere in the mess. Maybe. I am getting the boat ready now. I just need to finish installing the wash down pump. The wash down pump is important because I can use it to squirt people. There will be people out there in need of a serious squirting. Many of them will be nude. Columbus Day on the water features a lot of nude people.

This is good and bad. The good part is that whenever there are chicks and alcohol and boats, there will be nude chicks. The cops really can not do anything about it because:

A) you are not on a beach or public property - so therefore you can not be charged for being indecent on a public beach or other public property.

B) if the cops started to bust nude chicks, everyone would throw bottles at the cops and/or attack the police boats and pull the drain plug out of the transom - which would sink the police boat and then everyone would laugh.

C) there are too many naked people, and not nearly enough cops. Which is good.

The bad part is that for some reason there are ALWAYS old people that like to let it all hang out. And I do not mean "old", I mean OLD. Like sagging to the knees old. Wrinkled as a prune old. Went to High School with Moses old. Once owned a pet saber tooth tiger old. Really old. And they are out here, showing off to the world that not just the hair on your head turns gray. As if we really wanted to know.

And then there are the naked dudes. But you have to wonder about the dingies filled with 3 or 4 or more naked dudes and not one chick in sight. OK - if that is your thing guys! It is a free Country.

There is one rule that the cops DO enforce. You can not touch yourself, or anyone else - unless you are out of sight. There are some other rules as well, but the "no touching yourself" rule is one of them.

If I go I will bring the camera. Hopefully one of the boats I may raft up with will have a tower so I can get an elevated place to get some shots from.

Labels:

43 Comments:

Blogger Fuzz said...

Is sunburn a problem here ?

09:27  
Blogger Dusty said...

LOL..I was going to ask the same question as Fuzz..I can see people lathering their nether regions trying to keep from burning them..

14:33  
Blogger Ems said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

15:13  
Blogger Ems said...

We have our share of topless dancers that show up on the river for Fleet Week during the Rose Festival. The boaters would advertise their employers to all a dozen and a half military ships. (the town would swarm with Navy guys..) I remember being all of 12 and my dad would tell us to look away as he would 'just look at the ships'. Riiiight.

15:14  
Blogger Ba Doozer said...

Try not to get stimulated by the middle aged women who are either naked or scantily clad. k?

this could get really interesting with your camera and all

18:53  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Fuzz - I would imagine so. But not for me. I have an all over tan. I flaunt my junk all the time.

Dusty - there are parts of me that have NEVER seen the sun. And it really needs to stay that way. I would get horribly scorched and then I would not be able to walk for weeks.

Ems - a dozen and a half Navy ships and some boats with strippers advertising their wares and the clubs they work at is nothing compared to Columbus Day. The floating party in the waters off Miami is legendary in the boating world.

Doozie - I am a Columbus Day veteran. I think I will be ok. I am going to bring me kayak.

22:45  
Blogger Cheesemeister said...

The older I get the more I get why really old people just say fuck it and let it all hang out. For one thing, you quit caring what other people think of your sagging skin and flabby belly. And you figure, hell, I'm knocking on death's door, I might as well have a little fun before the grim reaper comes and takes my wrinkled ass to kingdom come. And it's kinda fun to see the horrified expressions on everyone's face as they behold your wrinkled ass glory!
Of course naked old people don't really faze me. I see them all the time.
I didn't go to school with Moses--he went to my rival high school, but we did get high together. We usually brought our pet saber tooth tigers along to warn us if any cops in Fred Flintstone cars were approaching!

01:08  
Blogger Cheesemeister said...

BTW, nobody has to worry about me being one of the naked olde pharts. I learned my lesson. The Cherokee blood in my veins is thinned out too much by the pasty white Lithuanian, English and Scotch-Irish genetics. I burn like a lobster! Except for my arms, which have built up some kind of tolerance and tons of freckles.
My father has all these squamous cell carcinomas that keep popping up on his back from years of sun exposure. He would always work in the yard with no shirt on. 40 years ago nobody ever thought about skin cancer. So now he's always having to get these crusty things removed. Which freaks me out because as a little kid I did my share of running around without a shirt getting burned to a crisp. Maybe the fact that modesty kicked in when I was around 9 will save me from his fate. But the body does weird things when we age. Yikes...

01:13  
Blogger Kristen said...

I really liked the 5 minutes to die game. I couldn't do it. I didn't realize that stabbing myself with scissors, stapling my own head, setting myself on fire, and getting body-slammed by a Mexican wrestler would only kill me marginally.

That's a lot of botes.

10:27  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

CM - I do not really care what people think. But I do not want to get my stuff burned. It would be painful. So out of fear I keep it safely in my swim trunks.

Kristen - it took me a bunch of tries to kill myself in 5 minutes. What I did was forget the co workers. Get the can and the lighter first. Then use the two paper shredders. Now go to the copy room and use the paper cutter and all the photocopiers. Now leave and go to the microwave room and use the staplers. That should do it, but I can not remember if I used the microwave or not.

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