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Monday, October 15, 2007

Almost Forgot The Title

Welcome to a whole new week. I guess. Maybe the new week that starts today will suck. Maybe it will be great. Maybe it will just be OK. Either way, there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAH!

That is my evil menacing laugh by the way. Work with me here.

It promises to be an exciting week for me. I shall sit, much like a bird in the wilderness.

That reminds me of my bird and rabbit joke / parable.

A long time ago, yet sometime in the future, there is this rabbit living in the woods. The rabbit is busy doing all the things a rabbit does - mostly related to eating and reproducing. Anyhow the rabbit happens to look up, and sitting on a tall branch of a tree is a crow. The rabbit says to the crow "hey dude, what the hell are you doing?". The crow replies "nothing much. Just chilling out up here. Taking in the view. Relaxing. You know, the usual."

Now this confuses the rabbit, who has never heard of such a thing. So the rabbit says to the crow "how do you do these things you speak of? How can I relax and do nothing like you?".

So the crow says "EASY! Just chill out. Right there at the base of the tree. Just kick back man".

So the rabbit does just that. He flips over on his rabbit back, kicks back, and proceeds to chill out. And as soon as he does this, a bear rushes out of the woods and eats the rabbit.

The moral to the story is you have to be high up to sit around and do nothing all day.

But none of this has anything to do with me. I just wanted to share the parable of the rabbit and crow. I may have already shared this parable however. I can not remember. I think I may have left it as a comment? Who knows. I don't.

Anyhow, I can not remember what the heck I was going to really post about. I got all distracted and shit. So I will end with this!

TWELVE SIGNS YOU ARE IN DEEP SHIT. Well not really "deep shit". That could be a little bit harsh. I am probably just about to get burned again. But what the hell. It will be nice to have someone to go places and do stuff with. Like the food and wine festival at Epcot Center. I would kind of like to go to that. And then there is the fast cat to the keys. That could be fun. But I also want to go to the Dry Tortuga National Park 75 miles west of Key West. You can only get there by boat or float plane. I would like to do the float plane thing. Maybe the float plane out there and the boat back? I would have to find out how that works.

Problem is I do not think she is really into the whole "great outdoors" thing. She requires hot water and AC - unless it is already cold. So the camping in the Dry Tortugas is probably out. There is nothing there - not even water. You have to take everything you will need with you. So that is probably out. Whatever.

Anyway - not for the signs! Enjoy. This may or may not have been one of those dopey chain email things, but I do not remember getting it that way. I found these signs posted on the web. You can make them a dopey chain email that will infest the in boxes of millions of email accounts if you wish.

Twelve: You yearn to smell their skin.
Eleven: You walk really slowly when you're with them.
Ten: You feel shy whenever they're around.
Nine: You smile when you hear their voice.
Eight: When you look at them,you can't see the other people around you, you
just see him/her.
Six: They're all you think about.
Five: You realize you're always smiling when you're looking at them.
Four: You would do anything for them, just to see them.
Three: While reading this, there was one person on your mind this whole time.
Two: You were so busy thinking about that person, you didn't notice seven was missing.
One: You just scrolled up to check and are now silently laughing at yourself.

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Blogger Cheesemeister said...

I didn't realize we were dating--I too need hot water and AC unless it's already cold!
Only joking--the very best of luck with this. You don't need to have everything in common to make it work.
My son will not want to date a gal like dear old Ma. He'll want one that doesn't mind getting down and dirty in the wilderness. Especially the wilderness of some foreign country like Thailand.
Sorry I've been MIA. It's been for the cause of biology and chasing the almighty dollar. Bleah to biology and the buck is still eluding me!

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

In the long term, the whole "no woods" thing could be an issue. There are a few things I want to do.

1. Alaska. I want to go there. I want to go beyond the Arctic Circle. I would like to do this in the fall when the nights are long - and when the sun is at the solar maximum. I will see the northern lights - or freeze trying.

2. Death Valley. I want to go there too. I will rent a 4x4 vehicle, and somehow get my hands on an extra spare tire or two. Then I will hit the dirt roads in the park. I will vanish into the wilderness for a few days.

In each case, I shall bring a personal locater beacon in case I need rescuing.

Blogger TLP said...

Short-term is okay. Short-term can be better than okay, it can be fun.

The most important thing is, is this person of the sex to which you are attracted? In your case, yes, she's female. So, there. You're good to go. Just not good to go every single place. You can go to those places with the boys.

Sometimes a girl needs water. Just sayin'.

Actually one of my sisters was the girliest girl you ever saw and she married a guy that liked the woods. Worked out well. They eased her into the more woodesy stuff. Started out just hiking and ended up as mountain climbers. After they retired they even sold their house and moved up into the mountains.

Blogger TLP said...

Just noticed your Alaska comment above. My sister and her husband spent two months in Alaska. There's hope for you and your gal.

Blogger AP3 said...

Great parable... it's even got a RABBIT! Lagomania!

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

TLP - Nobody I know is as crazy as I am. Everyone thinks I am nuts to want to see the northern lights. And maybe I am! I am kind of tired of the short term drama. But you take what you can get. Life must be so friggin complicated. Nobody likes my "I want to live on a sailboat" idea. That probably is a bad one.

AP3 - glad you liked the rabbit parable.

Blogger Emma Sometimes said...

HEY, I don't think you are nuts to want to see the Northern Lights. I would love to see them. Alaska sounds beautiful. In fact, Mr. Coffee and I are thinking of doing the family vacation renting one of those big ole' RVs and touring ourself.

Mr. Coffee is the type that just needs water, sleeping bag, tarp and knife to camp. Good to go. I don't mind tents and sleeping bags. It's the BEARS I mind...

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Emma - Alaska is one destination I would want to pack one of my guns to. I would probably go out and obtain a large caliber handgun. For the bears. I would not be looking to shoot one, but if it came down to me or the bear, I would have one nice bear skin rug.

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

I want to see the Northern Lights. I also would like to see certain places in Europe. If I went to all the various places that I have ancestors from it could be a pretty interesting trip since I'm such a Heinz 57.


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