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Monday, November 19, 2007

Better Life Through Chemistry.


I think everyone should take chemistry. It is a good class. So if your kid is in high school, or going to be in high school - press them to do better in math, and encourage them to take chemistry. And if you are in college, do not be a pussy. Sign up for the basic chemistry lecture and lab.

See in chemistry class you learn important things that apply to real life. If you get to advanced stuff like organic chemistry you will have access to cool things like amyl nitrite - which on the street is sometimes known as "rush". Lab grade baby. The good stuff. Not some crappy contaminated street grade rush. You will also learn how to make cool things like LSD, methamphetamine, and all sorts of other stuff. You can make good money as a street chemist - until the DEA busts you and you end up in ass pounding prison.

So maybe it is a good idea to quit before you get to organic chemistry.

But you should take basic chemistry. On the college level, there are two basic freshman level classes that all science geeks must take. Sign up for those.

Now why is it important to take chemistry 1101 and 1102 (or whatever the crap the course numbers are)? Well you learn WHY it is important to NOT do stuff. Like mix ammonia and bleach together. If you read the label on cleaning products, it clearly says what NOT to mix the product with. Stuff that contains bleach says right on it "do not mix with ammonia". Why? Well in basic chemistry you would learn that:

2NaOCl + 2NH3 ---> 2NaONH3 + Cl2

Allow me to decipher this science geek stuff for you.

2 molecules of sodium hypochlorite (bleach) plus 2 molecules NH3 (ammonia) react to form some sodium/oxygen/nitrogen/hydrogen shit that is probably toxic plus chlorine gas.

Other things can happen too. You could even end up with other stuff, like nitrogen trichloride (explosive compound that also happens to be toxic) - and even possibly a compound used in rocket fuel. But you would probably need lab grade stuff for this - lab grade ammonia would be a gas, not a liquid.

The point is you should not do it.

So what did I do today? Well the cat box needed cleaning. I use clumping litter which is really good stuff. The cat shit is not the problem - it is the cat piss that will kill you. Cat piss is ounce for ounce some of the most vile stuff known to man. If you use regular litter you can scoop out the poo, but the piss just soaks in the litter and laughs the scooper. So what ends up happening is the pee soaked litter remains and continues to stink, even as the poop is removed. And Sake will not use an ugly box. She will find somewhere else to go.

The clumping litter creates piss balls. These piss balls are highly scoopable. The liquid wastes are converted to solid waste, which can be scooped out and discarded. I do not recommend flushing piss balls, as the litter will clog the shit out of your toilet. I put the waste into a plastic bag and then toss it in the garbage can. As a result, I buy less litter. The box stinks less. Sake uses the bathtub less often. I can de-piss the boxes, so the really horrible stuff is removed often.

But today - TODAY - I really pulled a good one. It was time to toss the litter. Even the clumping stuff can only be scooped so many times. So I get the garbage bag and dump box #1. Stuck to the bottom of box #1 are four piss balls. One medium size piss ball, the three smaller piss balls. I am in a hurry, so do I scoop them out for flushing or disposal?

Hell no. I figure I can just put some bleach in the box, the bleach will dissolve the clumps, and I can dump the liquid into the toilet and flush. Then the box will be clean and sanitary and germ free because nothing can live very long in bleach.

The problem is that cat piss (and most piss produced by animals with a backbone) contain....AMMONIA!

Bleach + Cat Piss ----> some horrible HORRIBLE gas

I put the bleach into the box, and instantly the piss balls start to bubble and hiss. So I think to myself "oh shit, that looks like a chemical reaction". And then it hits me. The whatever it was that was bubbling out of the piss balls. Chlorine gas? Who knows. Whatever it was the odor clung to my nasal passages and would not leave. Even after I went to Frankies to buy dinner, which happened to be a mushroom pizza.

It was horrible. And of course - this did not happen outside. I was inside. See what happens when you are lazy?

I should have known better. I took basic chemistry.

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6 Comments:

Blogger M@ said...

We are nothing but chemicals, for sure. One of my greatest fears is spontaneous combustion.

08:45  
Blogger Daisy said...

My Mommie did that same thing one time! She poured some bleach into the litter box, and then shut the bathroom door so no cats would get into it. When she went back to finish cleaning, a horrible noxious cloud came out!

11:36  
Blogger actonbell said...

I did not take chem after high school. Bad decision.

When we first moved into our house and needed to paint the walls, I cleaned the walls with a solution of water and bleach. The instructions clearly stated that I needed to ventilate the area, but it was chilly outside, so I just cracked the windows. I hate being cold. Before long, though, I was running outside, hacking and borderline nauseous. I take these precautions much more seriously now.

19:35  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

M@ - So life is just a complex chemical reaction huh? I suppose you also think that humans evolved from apes, as opposed to being created by a supreme being. Of course the supreme being only created people on ONE color and religion - all the other colors and religions are wrong and probably did evolve from apes.

Daisy - next time I shall open the bathroom window and TURN ON THE EXHAUST FAN. Or better yet, take the boxes outside. It was a horrible cloud of invisible death.

Actionbell - bleach is some nasty shit. Really. It is one of the more dangerous things you can buy without a ATF license. By the way - you should NOT store bleach with other chemicals.

20:00  
Blogger Avery Gray said...

We have a sandbox that cats like to piss in. The sand doesn't clump, but it does stay wet, and it reeks to high heaven. We have to change it out all the time. Good thing sand doesn't cost much.

18:39  
Blogger Cheesemeister said...

My son enjoyed chemistry but hates physics.
I never took either. I understand very basic chemistry from having taken too many biology and A&P classes. I am nearly 43 years old and refuse to take chemistry at this point if not forced to. So there--nyah!

01:46  

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