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King Gambrinus - Patron Saint of beer.

Saturday, November 10, 2007


Today I would like to talk about moderation. The fine art of not consuming too much of anything.

Take for instance key lime pie. It is good stuff. But can you eat nothing but key lime pie? Sure - if you want to get sick. So one slice - ok. A whole pie - you get sick.

Now why is this important to remember? Lets take a purely hypothetical situation as an example.

Say it is 7 PM and you realize that you have not had anything to eat. Now you know that you need to eat something, so you head out to secure food, and maybe have a pint or two. Nothing major. So you arrive at the place and sit at the bar. You do not need a menu because you go to this place all the time. You order your IPA and think about what you are going to get to eat.

So you call a friend to see if they can come hang out, because you are going to have some food and knock back a beer or two.

And then you end up relocating to another bar, which is closer to where your friend lives.

By the way - you did not get anything to eat yet. You are going to relocate to another place and then get food.

But you forget to get food. You relocate to the other place and have another beer. And then another. So you had 2 at the first place, another one at your friend's place, and then some more at the other bar. The total for the night is 6 or 7, you can not remember.

And no food. So the beer adds up fast. Before you know it, the kitchen is closed. So there will be no food for you. Empty stomach.

At some point you end up back at your friend's house, where you crash for the night. It is a long drive back you your place, you are tossed, and do not need to be driving.

You wake up the next day and feel like shit. That entire day is recovery day. Your head hurts, your sunglasses are not dark enough, and you have still not had anything to eat. But at least you do not puke! Or at least, you do not remember puking. Nobody said you puked.

End of the hypothetical situation.

How could the above situation - in no way based on reality - have been avoided? Pretty simple really.

Moderation. That would have avoided everything.

And food. It would have been a good idea to get food. On an empty stomach, beer can catch up on you fast.



Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

You caught my attention at the mention of key lime pie. One of my Florida favorites, actually.

It has been awhile since i have stopped by here. I love the new look of your blog.

You and I have been united since day one against GW Bush. It is satisfying to see the country now waking up as well.

I too count the days he has left to remain in office.

Blogger M@ said...

I hope people didn't get in your way when you were trying to drive home. I hate that.

Blogger actonbell said...

This brings back some very fuzzy memories, one in particular that is haunting because of what I cannot remember. Peanuts would've been good, at least. Protein. And pretzels--the big, solid ones. If you don't get dinner, there must at least be chunky snacks. Once the beer starts, it's a hoppy slope.

You had asked about Serena's litter box abandonment: actually, she's always had some trouble: no matter how big the box is, she will back up until her butt is hanging OUTside the box. And then, when I defensively put newspaper all around it, she discovered that she rather preferred going on the newspaper. When I tried putting newspaper in the box, she still missed the box. And 'round and 'round we go. I've tried high-top boxes, too--she won't use them. Drat. She actually hit the box just once, recently, and I crowed about it. I'd brought home some radically different litter, and she was intrigued and padded around in it longer, but now it's old news.

Next time we have an icy driveway, I've got plenty of litter.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Barbara - good to hear from you again! I still have your link here, but I will have to admit not stopping by for some time. The Bush countdown timer is slowly ticking down. Not fast enough.

M@ - I can not really remember. All I know is that there is no new damage to the truck - so I probably did not hit anything. The next day I did notice I was parked sideways taking up two parking spots. OOPS! Really, I HATE doing that shit. The risk is very high, and the stakes are serious. It really is not worth it.

Actionbell - anything would have helped. When I eat I drink less. Food would have been a great idea. Sake is also called "the pissing cat". She likes to pee on things left on the bathroom floor, like towels and newspaper. If her box if just a little dirty she looks for something else to use. She also likes to drop a duce in the bathtub. It stinks horribly. But given the choice, I would rather her use the tub than a towel or the couch.

Blogger Scarlet W. Blue said...

But that beer buzz you get on an empty stomach is unique. I feel kind of cheerful on it.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, hypothetical situations are so mysterious. I think you did a great job of thinking one up as an example so we can brainstorm this issue.
Go buy some powerbars to keep in your truck for such emergencies.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Scarlet - I was feeling very little pain. I dropped a bowling ball on my foot and did not even notice anything.

qz~doodie - Powerbars in the truck tool box? Excellent idea! I am going to do this. Many problems would be avoided this way.

Blogger actonbell said...

Hey! When did you add I wanna be a lifeguard? I haven't heard that since--1983, or something like that. I saw them in State College around that time, and they were really good live, as you'd imagine:)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am first and foremost a mother, therefore I plan ahead and prepare for problems. I would also like to say that I had promised some time back that you would be receiving something mind blowing in the mail. Well, I have not forgotten about this but what has happened is it has become not just ONE item but a series of items compiled in what one can only call a "care package". It is ready to go and will be mailed off as of tuesday when I sell my plasma and get money for postage. Take care....good luck...we'll be in touch. If I should happen to die do you want my liver?

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

When it comes to the beer I have something of forced moderation. I feel lousy after more than one so I stop. Also I have to take into account that it will interfere with the absorption of the damn lithium. But it doesn't seem that I've learned moderation with food anywhere near fast enough. I'm still fat and it shows no signs of shrinking anytime soon.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Actionbell - I Want To Be A Lifeguard was the first song I added to the list.

QZ - Yes. The item of mystery. I have it right here and I will send it off Tuesday. You can then laugh at it, use it on anything that invokes your wrath, and then pass it on. I could always use a spare liver.

CM - I was feeling pretty bad Friday. Dry heaves and all. It was pretty bad. I never need to do that again.

Blogger Kristen said...

Oh wow, that's a good, completely hypothetical, situation for us to ponder. You should maybe find a bar that still has dishes of pretzels on it. Or yeah, powerbars. Not the kind with chocolate chips in them, though. Not in Florida.

Packet has bathroom issues, too. See?


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