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Thursday, November 08, 2007

Man DNA

I figured out what I am going to do with the 12 gallon cube aquarium I got.

Take it apart. There is a false back for it, that hides 4 chambers from view. Chamber 1 is supposed to have this sponge in it, chamber 2 is for ceramic beads and carbon (the beads give a place for bacteria to live, the carbon removes stuff dissolved in the water), chamber 3 is for plastic "Bio Balls" which give bacteria another place to live and remove any air bubbles that may be in the water. Chamber 4 is for the return pump.

So the idea is to remove the false back so I can get to all 4 chambers. Then I can reconfigure it all to make things more to my liking. Fun fun fun. At least I think so.

Now there are two possible outcomes to this project idea. What are these possibilities? I am glad you asked. And if you did not ask - PPPBBBBBTTTTTT! You are going to find out anyway.

See guys need to tinker with stuff. It does not matter what it is. Lets take the Toyota truck I have. It was fine was it was off the lot. But I had to tinker with it. So I got truck bed rails, and a toolbox. And a towing hitch. And the K&N washable air filter.

THIS JUST IN! I just saw the first Christmas commercial this year. It was for Garmin. Giva giva giva giva Garmin.

OK so where was I? Oh yea, the tinkering. I actually did not tinker with the truck very much. I kind of forgot about my project to install some extra driving lights. OH YEA and I did add a pair of 55 watt (each) reverse lights. Those are sweet. 110 watts of reverse light power - plus the factory lights. OH YEA!

I did far more tinkering with the boat. Lets see here. I added:

1. Official galvanized John Deer beer bottle opener
2. Wash Down pump
3. GPS plotter / VHF radio / fish finder on the boat "dash board".
4. FM stereo and 4 new speakers
5. Replaced the bilge pumps and got new float switches
6. Replaced the trailer winch with a better one
7. Other things I might have forgotten about.

Somewhere, buried deep in my man DNA, there is the need to tinker with things - in a feeble attempt to make them better.

This is why I feel compelled to take this item, which a lot of people would think is just fine the way it is now, and disassemble it. Then change it. Then put it back together.

Now for the two possible outcomes!

Outcome number one is.....SUCCESS! Total and complete success. The modifications will work out just as I planned, and the end result will be an item customized to what I think I want.

Outcome number 2 is.....I make things worse! This happens. Something breaks and can not be repaired. Or I get something apart and can not get it back together again. Or I get something apart, realize I can not really do what I was planning to do, and then reassemble it - killing whatever warranty the item had.

But yet, I feel the need.

Because somewhere, buried deep in my DNA, is a gene that creates a protein that compels me to break things, then try to fix them again.

I just wish that something in the aquarium required a welder to modify. My dad has a new welder that I can always borrow. The welder does not get used very much - but it is something one should have at hand in case you need it. The drill press and the two chop saws (one for metal one for wood) are also not used very much - but again handy things to have around in case you ever need to drill or chop saw anything.

And then there is the most destructive tool of them all - the SAWS ALL! That thing is crazy. My dad and I used it to cut up an old fiberglass 14 foot boat into sections that fit in the bed of the truck so that I could haul the sections off to the dump. The whole boat was too big to take to the "house hold waste" dump, and taking it to the landfill would result in at least a $500 disposal fee. But by chopping it up, it was free to get rid of. The dump attendant accused me of dumping "a boat" but I argued and said that it was in fact a "boat shaped flower planter". My point was that if it does not float - it is not a boat. And clearly the pieces of the "boat shaped flower planter" would not float.

And somewhere - buried deep in the garage - is an oxygen/acetylene cutting touch. If I ever find that thing I will probably set something on fire. That is another tool of mass destruction.

With these tools of mass destruction handy - I can either break anything, fix anything, build something that works, or build something that does not work.

But I will not need any of these things, only a knife and the Dremel. The Dremel tool rules.

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11 Comments:

Blogger QZ~Ba Doozie said...

did you eat paint chips as a kid?

21:45  
Blogger Cheesemeister said...

I'm studying DNA. I'm trying to find out how many damn chromosomes a stupid whitefish has. I was supposed to count the chromosomes on the stupid slide that came in my stupid kit. They're too small even at high magnification! I've been looking on site after site for whitefish chromosomes. I'm just going to hazard a guess and if I'm wrong, screw it.

21:49  
Blogger Fuzz said...

Oh Boy, Power Tools !

I always wonder about those extra parts that didn't seem to be there before I took the thing apart. But it still works, so removing the extraneous stuff has to be an improvement. Success !

09:08  
Blogger Fuzz said...

Oh Boy, Power Tools !

I always wonder about those extra parts that didn't seem to be there before I took the thing apart. But it still works, so removing the extraneous stuff has to be an improvement. Success !

09:08  
Blogger Fuzz said...

Don't know how this got in here twice. This computer must have an extra part somewhere.

09:09  
Anonymous krok7 said...

The Lazy,

My DNA is telling me to have sex with Doozie on the bathroom counter. I think my mom used drugs when she was pregnant.

20:50  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

qz~ba doozie - I probably did eat some paint chips when I was a kid. It was the 1970s and nobody knew that stuff was bad for you. I never did eat any paste however.

CM - I have no idea how many genes a whitefish has. If I find out I will tell you.

Fuzz - I have a wonderful collection of spare parts from things I took apart and then put back together. I always seem to end up with a few odd loose parts. This is why I do not like to get on carnival rides. I do not want to find out how many parts are missing from those things.

Krok - So there is METH-od to your insanity huh?

01:41  
Anonymous destructo said...

There is only one thing better than a saws all and it is a cordless saws all!!! You just want to yell "DEMOLITION MAN!". The only reason anything was left standing in the neighborhood was the battery finally died......

16:27  
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