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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

CPA

First off, why don't I ever have this much fun at the accountant's office?

When I go to the accountant, it is all boring and shit. Actually I do not go to the accountant. My parents do, and I could use their accountant for little or no charge. But I do the 1040 EZ thing anyway - so what is the point? Deductions? Don't I have to save receipts and shit for that? Hell no. You know what I do with receipts? I stuff em in my pants pocket then forget about them and then they end up as lint in the drier. If I think I might have to return whatever crap it is I just bought, I stuff the receipt in the truck center console, where the heat eventually turns the heat sensitive register paper black.

Twice a year I have to clean out the center console in the truck and throw a bunch of stuff out.

And my checkbook! Oh the checkbook. I do not even know where the hell that thing is. Who writes checks anymore? Its called "electronic bill payment". Use it.

I have a foolproof method to balance my checkbook. I go to the bank website, log in, and check my balance. Thats pretty much it.

And what is this bullshit about "charitable contributions"? Are you giving money to an organization because you want a tax write off - or because you agree with what they are doing? Well not me! I give freely to shit I feel like giving money to - without worrying about a tax write off.

Plus, I keep losing receipts and stuff. And it is not like I am giving away billions of dollars. I might have given away $50 this year. Maybe.

And if I try to deduct petty shit, I will not be able to use the 1040 EZ and I may need the accountant and so on. Oh yea, I also have to save receipts.

And that shit just is not going to happen. I am far too lazy.

Oh yea, a little about the video link. Syd Barrett was the original singer for Pink Floyd. He wrote most if not all of the band's early stuff. He took too much LSD and sort of flipped out.

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7 Comments:

Blogger QZ~ said...

I hope you get your care package soon, golldang the postal service is slow these days


I don't like checkbooks either

03:40  
Blogger M@ said...

I recently filed my 2003, 2004, 2005 and 2006 taxes. I hear you.

10:17  
Blogger Avery Gray said...

We have to have an accountant. We're in a high tax bracket, and we have stocks and crap that complicate matters. Our accountants are the best. We've averaged $14,000 refunds the past four years. (Why not change the W-4? Ask my husband. He's an idiot.)

I love having our taxes prepared. It's like frickin' Christmas.

18:23  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

QZ - no package so far. I sent you some junk from my end. You can use it till you get bored and then send it off to someone else.

M@ - I file my taxes on time every year. I need my money back.

Avery - I ignore the fact I have a Roth IRA and shit. Is this bad??

21:21  
Anonymous krok43 said...

The Lazy,

I love my CPA. The dude makes things that on the surface seem illegal, legal.

21:34  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Krok - The best part is that if they are doing something illegal, all you have to do is snitch! Play dumb! The IRS will go after the accountant and as long as you snitch nothing too bad happens to you.

04:40  
Blogger Cheesemeister said...

The 1040 EZ...the likelihood of my ever being able to use that again is about the same as the chance that I will one day walk on the moon--while alive, anyway. Once I'm a ghost and don't need oxygen any more I will go walk on the moon and will moon the Earth.

01:45  

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