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Monday, April 07, 2008


Welcome to the rainy season!

Well at least if you live in Florida. It is raining right now. I sort of like it when it rains at night. It is soothing. At least to me.

But - the rain totally kills the satellite TV signal. Which sucks. I was watching some crap about how the universe began and then the signal just cuts out. It is almost like the universe wants to keep its secrets to itself, and does not want me to know too much about how it all came to be.

So the universe sent the rain, to mess up the satellite TV signal. Better than the universe sending a massive solar flare that takes out the satellites I suppose.

In other news, I have created a pro and con list for a life at sea.

no lawn to mow
no trees / hedges to trim
no neighbors
no barking dogs
no assholes knocking on the door trying to sell me Omaha steaks
no chance at all of stepping in dog shit when I walk out the front door
I can fish anytime I want
I can have a live bait pen in my "front yard"
I can use a dingy to get around, which would be really cool
The party spot on Monument Island is always just a short ride away
I can pee off my porch if I get drunk
when the power goes off, I will not even notice it
If I get a wild hair up my ass, I can set sail for the Bahamas and bring my house with me.

my house can sink
If it is raining and I need to go somewhere, I will get soaked because I will need to use a dingy to get to land, and then go to the vehicle - at which time there is no way I will still be dry.
hurricanes will suck even more than they already do
assholes throwing out a wake will rock my house
when it is raining and the wind is blowing like it is right now, the house will rock back and forth which could lead to sea sickness
friends will find it to be a pain in the ass to come visit
birds will shit all over everything, so I will be always cleaning up bird shit. Unless the cats can keep the birds away.
the boat will have to be hauled out every so often for bottom painting and whatnot. Bottom paint is expensive. Like a hundred bucks or more a gallon.
I will not have a lot of space.

There may be more pros and/or cons too. I still do not know if the current situation will allow a floating lifestyle.

And now.....for a NEW TV SHOW DISCOVERY!!!

This show is on the G4 network, DirecTV channel 354. From the network that brings you Ninja Warrior comes another wacky import from Japan! It is called "Unbeatable Banzuke". In this show, people have to impossible things. Like complete an obstacle course standing on their hands. Or challenge the "quick muscle" champion to see who can do the most push ups in 3 minutes (the champ pulls off over 200). And other wacky things.

The craziest thing is that there does not seem to be ANY fabulous prizes. No money. No million dollar recording contract. No washer and drier. No new kitchen. No new car. No vacation package in Hawaii. Nothing.

Apparently, if you win all you get is honor - which in America has no cash value.

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Blogger Lily Strange said...

I've often thought the hermit in a cave way might be right for me. I would seriously like to move somewhere that there isn't so much traffic, but the assholes would probably just follow me.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Living in a cave may attract unwanted attention from Homeland Security. I do not think it is "cool" to live in a cave anymore. But it is still OK to live on a boat. If the assholes moved out with me I could always pull up the anchor and move.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The starting of the universe began with a single molecule crawling out of the sea and morphing into more. if you believe that then you will believe that I am the person who will take over the planet


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