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Tuesday, April 01, 2008


Time for another update post! A lot of shit has gone down - and the only way to get it all out is with an update post. So here it goes!

First on the list, the beer tasting event. I was called back on Monday. So I had to open the mystery packet! I had to rate my overall opinion of the beer - which I rated as 5. Neither like it or hate it. I also had to rate how well the beer met my expectations - again I went middle of the road here. Then I had to give a reason for my opinions. Next I had to estimate how much of the mystery beer I might drink during one drinking occasion in the future. Then how drinkable was the beer? And there were 5 more pages of questions.

For this, I got an extra $15. Which will buy at least one pitcher of Sam Adams (a real beer) this Friday when I go do my weekly thing at the Miami Yacht Club. So all is good.

I also registered with this outfit to take part in future market studies. Apparently I am on the "drunk / alcoholic" list. So if there are future alcohol studies I will probably get called. But I would also take part in other studies. So long as I get the ca$h. There is no W2 form to fill out, so I am thinking this is ca$h the tax man does not need to know about. Hey one study a week would not be too bad. It would keep gas in the truck. I suppose.

And here is another fun thing! YOU TOO can sign up! Apparently they do research studies using just the phone. The person who called me said that they have people from all over that are on their list. So if you are so inclined, go HERE and then click "recruitment". You may never hear from them, but you may also get some scratch for answering questions over the phone. You never know.

SECOND on the list, I got the boat tunes functional. The electronics box is under the T-Top and there is power in the electronics box (I ran the wires) and the speaker wires are running from the center console to the electronics box and the stereo is connected to everything it needs to be connected to and the satellite radio thingie has power and the satellite radio antenna is put somewhere out of my way (NO MORE TANGLED WIRES!!!!). The stereo WAS installed in the center console where it was not exactly easy to get to. This setup is so much better.

I still need to install the electric dual horns. I also need to get something to bundle all the wires that are now in the electronics box, so everything is all neat and tidy up there. I would hate for the boat shot glass to get wrapped up in the stereo wires, or not be able to find the boat beer bottle opener! For that would suck.

THIRD - I got my registration in for the Baynanza cleanup thing. I had to call DERM because the web registration thing did not work. But I called and spoke to a person and got signed up.

I had to be very patient with the person who I spoke to. Apparently, the person rides the SHORT BUS to work. Because they are special. Maybe too special. Or maybe I suck at communication.

But this can not be. I am a communications master. I have a radio license and everything. So that must mean I can communicate. Therefore I can discount the "I suck at communications" theory and play up the "someone rides the short bus to specialville" theory.

Without getting too long winded, the special person got confused. I said that I was bringing three people with me. Myself plus two others. I also said that the boat can carry 7 people, so I have room for 4 more volunteers.

Now I thought this was clear. We are not talking about advanced calculus here. 7 - 3 = 4. That is some 1st grade stuff.

But there was confusion. Was I bringing 7 people? 4 people?

No, THREE people. Me plus two more. The boat holds 7 people. So I am bringing 7 people? NO - the BOAT holds 7 people. I am bringing myself plus 2. I can take on 4 more volunteers. So I am bringing 6 people?

Anyway, I think that eventually any confusion was cleared up. I have room for 4 and maybe even 5 more people on the boat. I suppose that slightly overloading the boat is OK as the trip will be short and in calm waters. Ill have to see how the boat sits in the water once everyone is in. If I have to, then I will just make two trips.

I have to construct litter sticks. Bending over to pick stuff that is NOT gold coins and other things that can be converted to legal tender sucks. So I will get me some sticks and put a nail in one end. Then I can use the nail to stab litter. The litter will be impaled on the nail, and then I can pick it up. And then convert it to garbage.

Now I know you are thinking litter and garbage is the same thing. Well it is not. When you throw something out a window, are you "littering" or "garbaging"? When you get fined for throwing stuff on the ground, is it a littering ticket or a garbaging ticket?

Litter is trash just thrown on the floor, and garbage is trash IN A GARBAGE CAN. Got it? Litter is on the floor, garbage is in a garbage can. Litter is never in a garbage can and garbage is never on the side of the road. Litter and garbage are in fact not the same thing. It is all trash, but where that trash is located determines what sort of trash it is.

So when things say "please place litter in its place" what are they saying? Well if you ask me they are saying "throw this crap on the floor when you are done with it. Or just pitch it out the window of you car. Because the "proper place" for litter is pitched out the window.

The proper place for GARBAGE is in the garbage can. And the people who write "please place litter in the proper place" on things are IDIOTS!!!!! They are TELLING people to litter! Which last time I checked is illegal.

But what do I know about words and meanings and stuff. Nothing, thats what. I am just some random idiot who might be slightly retarded.

Ill have photos of my litter sticks once they are constructed. Which will be soon.

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Blogger M@ said...

Oh, I can't read all of this, man. I just drank some Stella.

What do you think of that beer. I think it's suiting me just fine lately.... And I thought I was going to be abstinent.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will have to agree to disagree about litter and garbage. Not that I have a better argument at this time but just because I am feeling disagreeable.

I copied your cartoon of the short bus people. I like it...I like it a lot....I wanna be friends with it

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

M@ - Can't really say I have ever had Stella. I need to have some so I can exalt or smite it.

Doozie - I stole the cartoon from somewhere else, so feel free to steal it from me. Cause you are not really stealing it from me. You are stealing it from wherever I stole it from.

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

I often have gotten "short bus" people when calling customer service. But by far the worst, most offensive ASS I ever got was when I called the IRS--big surprise there. This mean-spirited bitch had the audacity to laugh at my plight, and then say to me "well, sir..."
By that point I was so pissed off I had no self control. I shouted "I'm a woman, you goddamn idiot, and I demand to speak to your supervisor about your rude behavior immediately!"
Normally I don't go off with such voracity, but the situation was such that this seemed to be exactly what was called for. The fool suddenly became very recalcitrant and politely gave me a different phone number to call, which actually turned out to be useful. Hopefully they didn't treat the next caller in such an asinine fashion.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

stealing from stealers...that makes sense

Blogger Fuzz said...

It is confuzing. Three with me. 3 + M = 4 (Unless M has multiple personalities) (3+M)+4=8
Can you take more people if you leave the beer home ?

Regarding garbage- it usually gets eaten by something eventually. Litter lingers, especially Styrofoam.


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