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Thursday, October 02, 2008

Upload Your Slogans At Crest.Com

Yea, I saw the commercial. You know the one with that annoying TV chef? BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!!

And a bunch of idiots cheer and clap. At least now we know what this child TV star is doing today!


Traded in the club for a pepper grinder huh?

Anyhow - these are some of my submissions to Crest.Com!!

1. Crest - because it tastes better than rotten teeth!

2. Crest - now with mouth herpes killing agents!

3. Crest - because crystal meth addicts need to brush too!

4. Made in the USA, so why not spend your tax rebate check on the stuff?

5. Crest - Not made in China so you know its 100% lead free!

6. Crest - possibly made in China but tested to make sure it only contains a little lead.

7. Crest - use daily OR ELSE THIS WILL BE WHAT YOUR TEETH LOOK LIKE!
8. Crest - buy a tube then CRAM IT down the throat of your favorite bank CEO!

9. Crest - that minty flavor? ITS NOT MINT!!!! HAAHAHAAHAHAHHAAH!!!

10. Because Frank N. Stein says "Crest sofa king good".

Somehow, I do not think Ill be winning the contest. But they asked! Companies should really not ask me for slogans. I can come up with some you will never EVER forget - but that might not be a good thing marketing wise.

Even if every so-called marketing "expert" says that a memorable slogan is exactly what you want.

Well - you would never forget "now with herpes medicine" as a slogan would you? I would not!

And if you meet someone, and end up at their place, and you see a tube of toothpaste with herpes medicine - you know its probably a good time to leave. Unless it is already too late. In which case you might as well hang out for a few more hours. In for a penny in for a pound.

NOTE - I do not really have a problem with the Crest company - so DO NOT SUE ME!!! I have no money anyway. You would be drilling in a very dry well.

In fact, I use the stuff. Teeth are important. You need them for things like opening bottles and gripping fishing line and holding things and what not.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Daisy said...

I have seafood-flavored toothpaste.

10:37  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Sounds yummy. If I tried to brush my cats teeth I would have to donate a pint of blood. It would not go to a blood bank, it would end up on the floor.

The only dental care my cats get is what nature provides, and a diet of dry food. Princess, a cat I found when I was in second grade, lived 20 years and never lost so much as a tooth.

00:07  
Blogger Lily Strange said...

My dogs have chicken-flavored toothpaste. Maybe I should get Emeril to kick that up a notch.

05:45  

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